"PS. Jaro, the lady with the plastic bag... Not a Swiss policewoman making you guys blow for 'drinking and riding',I hope!color>" Oh, that is excellent ! ....really cracked me up !! (I hope she reads this....) Naturally, I did bring home some of that great Vecchia Romagna, which sells in the region.... Resin, I took note of your comment about northerly occurances of A. araucana in the UK, when you first posted it (including that great photo) a long time ago. However, the UK gets heating from the Gulf Stream, which Switzerland doesn't. But of course there are other factors.... clearly the region is relatively warm, as atested by the presence of palm trees. Nevertheless, an interesting sight for visitors.

Diana, you're gorgeous! And you never told me! The dress looks fantastic...is that one of the whirlingturbans? Your daughter is lovely & I'm laughing over the "we're in Hawaii...now I must shop" picture. It looks like you had a great time in paradise. Nina

Take the stepmom (and for that matter, the divorce) out of the equation for a moment. A family has a vacation planned for a school break, but a teenaged child wants to participate in a youth program with friends instead. This happens all the time in any family with teenagers, not just in non-step families. The stepmom's participation as a chaperone does add a twist, it does make the idea of the whole family going to NYC less attractive, and it sort of makes your decision-making a little "public." But really, those are minor issues. I'm not so sure that the idea of the whole family going to NYC would be such a great one, again, not having anything to do with SM. You wrote, "sd has a hard time making friends and "fitting-in". This is her first year in high-school and we were so hopeful she would find her place with this band. I am thrilled to report that she is thriving with this group! Sooooo  I think she should go with them and bond even more through what can only be a good experience. I would love to be a part of it ...." But your being a part of it could sort of interfere with the group bonding and finding her place that is so important to any kid at this age, when she is forming her identity. Ask any teen; they feel like a whole different person when their parents are around (remember?). I sympathize with your situation with your SD's mom. But I really don't see this as a situation of "have[ing your] plans stepped on" -- it's not like she organized the field trip. It would be very different if, for example, the SM had invited your SD on a trip. But that's not what happened here. Her going as a chaperone sort of makes it feel like that, but it really isn't the same thing. I definitely wouldn't "b) Talk to a lawyer and see about enforcing the split holidays  and forcing her to stay home," so I respectfully disagree with newgardenelf. From the girl's point of view, this is about her going on a field trip rather than a family vacation, not about the relationship between her parents (including you). I think you are handling this very well. In fact, you need not offer to change the date of the Hawaii trip so she can do both; if it isn't convenient to do that, she may just have to choose. My kids sometimes chose to skip really great family trips in favor of youth activities. If it was easy to arrange the trips around their schedules, we did, but if not, they had to choose, and we were careful not to make them feel pressured or guilty if they chose their friends. This stuff is important to teens. Good luck, and have fun on your vacation whatever you decide!

Vee, I didn't grow up with English boys but I really didn't notice the Englishmen I knew as co-workers, friends, and male relatives of friends as being as allergic to female company as you describe. Maybe the ones I knew had outgrown it. :-) I did notice the shyness of both males and females, though. As for American guys having 'trophy' girlfriends and wives: sure, there are those but I think gals were/are just as likely to collect 'trophy' boyfriends and husbands. The quarterback of the football team was always more popular than a defensive lineman (a necessary but less glamorous position); the guy with a 'hot' car impressed the girls while the poor fellow who had to drive his parents' car on dates was a 'drip'. I was probably a typical snotty female in some respects: I was mortified when I was a senior (12th grader) in high school and a sophomore (10th grader) boy asked me to an important dance. He was too young for me. I think it's funny now that I have a husband six years younger than me. Annpan, it's true that Americans are obsessed with the appearance of teeth. Martin Amis (Kingsley's son) said that before he dared go to the US he had to get himself 'an American smile'. Looking at YouTube video clips of singers such as Robert Plant (Led Zeppelin) and David Bowie before they had their teeth fixed always draws comments from younger Americans nowadays. How could these guys dare sing with such teeth? As if shiny, white plastic chompers are a prerequisite to singing talent...apparently so in their opinion. Americans are just about as obsessed with body hair as with teeth. It wasn't always so, but it is now. Females should have hair in three places only: the head, the eyebrows and the eyelashes. Males are allowed facial hair in addition. If you're wondering about the other region where hair usually grows...that's just ick, ick, ick! Hair removal is big business in the US. Mudlady, I've run across that parental attitude you describe that sons are always more important than daughters. I think it must be a holdover or throwback in American culture and not the norm as it is in certain other cultures. I never felt that I was less important than my brothers, but I was the only girl and youngest child and that probably made a lot of difference. Ah yes, cars had character back then! I can barely tell one make & model from the next nowadays. My first car is only a fond memory but I still have my second car, a metallic-blue 1966 Plymouth Satellite with a 383 engine, 5-speed manual on the floor. Lots of girls never learned to drive a standard transmission, but they missed out on loads of fun! I'm glad I grew up in the heyday of American car culture. As frivolous as it might seem, it signified freedom to me more than anything else could at the time. I didn't think anything of jumping into my car and driving alone from Iowa to Texas. I drove from Paris to Istanbul one time, too. It was marvelous.