Well, well, well...I came on here to check in and see how things are going, and here you are! How nice to 'see' you again! We all went thru so much this past year, haven't we...and some of us still do..;-) My Mother has adjusted very, very well into her nursing home, and is thriving. She's the type that the gals there just can't seem to stop spoiling, and she loves it! Jokes with them, uses her wit to tease them, and they think it's the cutest thing. LOL! She still knows who I am, and mentions my brother (who can't be bothered to email me and ask how she's doing but that's a whole other story!) and our DD. But she gets so quiet sometimes, and has her melancholy moments and gets tearful, but all in all, enjoys our visits. She said she's "going downhill" and it's so sad to hear.....I know I'm not supposed to say, Ah, Buckup! You'll be fine! because she won't be, and it just makes it more difficult for them to find peace. She turned 92 in September. We hope we can give her a Merry Christmas day! Not much else, really....I'm knitting FunFur scarves for each of the full-time care-workers in her wing (about 6 done, maybe one more to go), as well as purple mittens for her former care-worker at our home to match the purple scarf (her fav colour) I knit her last year! LOL! As well as my first attempt at a "lacey" cap for our DD and matching mittens out of "Dream"...feels kitten soft and about as much fun to knit with...so slippery! ;-D Sorry to hear about the little lump in your breast; I always keep care-givers in my prayers, and hope it helps you through your excision/surgery. I feel confident it's not cancer, as she's removing the entire lump....seems more like an encapsulated cyst or some such....."Let Go and Let God", Gabby. To all care-workers, their family and friends, I do sincerely wish you all a very peaceful, holiday season. MERRY CHRISTMAS to you all! ....Lynn

Oh my, you poor dear! I can totally relate. My daughter is 21 years old and when she was born I got no help from either set of grandparents. That's okay though...I wasn't expecting or asking for help. The annoying thing has been constant, nagging requests for us to travel and to be more involved with our parents and helping our siblings...mostly on my side of the family. (Even though I am the youngest, they have always thought that my job is to rescue them all!) My mother is very manipulative and I had to put good boundaries in place many years ago in order to protect myself and my daughter. And that is what I would advise you to do. Decide on how often you and your husband and child can travel (once every 5 years overseas would be more than generous enough...perhaps once every two years for a trip to Chicago). Continue to be a loving, respectful daughter/daughter-in-law and send occasional photos of your little one to the Grandmas, but if you don't get a response, make that less frequent. (You can protect yourself from being hurt by recognizing that you are doing too much for folks that don't appreciate it...stop doing so much.) How silly for your mother to try to make you feel guilty because she bought a crib for a child that doesn't live with her...it may have been a sweet gesture or wishful thinking on her part, but her threats to send it back are silly and manipulative...if I were you I might tell her that if it were possible to visit more frequently, you'd be coming to visit HER, not a crib! She should send it back, by all means. Decide what you would enjoy in your relationships with your daughter's grandparents and what you feel your obligations are and stick to that like glue! Don't be bullied, don't be manipulated...remember that you are setting an example for your child...you can't lose by being calm and kind but also strong and decisive and able to make the choices that are best for you. Families can be complicated. You can make yours less complicated by simplifying your approach to them. Stop worrying about pleasing them and learn to please yourself. You'll be setting a great example for your daughter.

I can't help you with the quilting shops but am here to tell you you're in for a REAL treat. Santa Fe is absolutely fabulous....the old town is laid out around a square, and the shops that line the four sides of the square have a large overhanging roof, over the sidewalk. Every morning native American craftsmen and women throw out a blanket and sell their wares...wonderful silver and turquoise, pottery, etc. It's a fabulous experience! Santa Fe is a town of little shops and galleries, FILLED with terrific stuff, so bring a big bag of money and your walking shoes! It's a great town to just wander around in...something neat around every corner! (my husband first took me for my 50th birthday gift...I was thrilled!!!)

ok nice tell me how you did it? I had quit for nearly 2 yrs and then DH was working out of town for 8 mos. and I started back again and now i cant quit even though i know i need to.