Oh my, you poor dear! I can totally relate. My daughter is 21 years old and when she was born I got no help from either set of grandparents. That's okay though...I wasn't expecting or asking for help. The annoying thing has been constant, nagging requests for us to travel and to be more involved with our parents and helping our siblings...mostly on my side of the family. (Even though I am the youngest, they have always thought that my job is to rescue them all!) My mother is very manipulative and I had to put good boundaries in place many years ago in order to protect myself and my daughter. And that is what I would advise you to do. Decide on how often you and your husband and child can travel (once every 5 years overseas would be more than generous enough...perhaps once every two years for a trip to Chicago). Continue to be a loving, respectful daughter/daughter-in-law and send occasional photos of your little one to the Grandmas, but if you don't get a response, make that less frequent. (You can protect yourself from being hurt by recognizing that you are doing too much for folks that don't appreciate it...stop doing so much.) How silly for your mother to try to make you feel guilty because she bought a crib for a child that doesn't live with her...it may have been a sweet gesture or wishful thinking on her part, but her threats to send it back are silly and manipulative...if I were you I might tell her that if it were possible to visit more frequently, you'd be coming to visit HER, not a crib! She should send it back, by all means. Decide what you would enjoy in your relationships with your daughter's grandparents and what you feel your obligations are and stick to that like glue! Don't be bullied, don't be manipulated...remember that you are setting an example for your child...you can't lose by being calm and kind but also strong and decisive and able to make the choices that are best for you. Families can be complicated. You can make yours less complicated by simplifying your approach to them. Stop worrying about pleasing them and learn to please yourself. You'll be setting a great example for your daughter.

Have a great vacation, and yes, please post those Maine pics for us to see.

thanks everyone, I go on trips with my DD21, we went to Paris this April break. And DD went wiht dad's family on a trip during her other break in the winter. In neither case DD forced herself on neither me nor her dad. But both I and X have more vacations that that. It would be normal if his DD would spend SOME of the vacations wiht him, but it is all of the vacation he has. KKNY DD27 and her mother had fights on travels, during those fights SO was forced to take sides (he took daughter's side), all those fights were bad on a relationship. It almost feels ot me that she was trying to stand between her dad and mom. Of course that's not what caused a divorce but I believe it contributed to it. woudl she stand between me and him? It is entirelly possible imamommy that she is trying to do just that, but it's been like this always. the only change is that SO finally stopped going just him and her and now she goes with us (or actually the way it looks like they go two of them and I am dragging along LOL). KKNY we went on many trips and vacations together but as we got more serious, DD27 wants to be wiht us all the time and since she is always here whenever dad has vacations, we simply cannot go anywhere anymore. i was looking forward to July vacation but now we can't even do that. On few occassions we planned on going somwhere ona trip, but DD changed her plans or alternated them, left earlier than plannned or flew in alter etc. My SO also cancelled his trip to college reunion past winter because DD27 decided to visit the last moment (when she found out he goes to reunion). Bizzare.

I lived in Portland for 21 years. A wonderful place, very laid back. I would surely drive up the coast as the others mentioned. It is a very calm and fun drive. I always enjoyed the Pittock Mansion in Portland. Mostly because, if you put your car in neutral in front of the mansion, your car will mysteriously go uphill backwards by itself. It is one of those weird things. Never was sure why that happens. A bit creepy, but really fun! A must do in Portland. Also the Saturday market is wonderful, I think it is still held under the Burnside Bridge. Lots and lots of fun to hang out in downtown. Mt. Hood is beautiful and only 1 hours drive from Portland. Tons of little towns and pubs along the way too. Timberline lodge on the Hood is a nice place to have lunch. Multnomah Falls is also really beautiful, another close drive. A must see. Tillamook Cheese? Yum. I am so thankful Sams carries it here in Texas. No other is better. Give it a try too. I grew up there and will always have my heart in Portland. Have a wonderful time, I am envious!!! Trin