We've been married for 14 years now and we lived together for 3 years before that. While we were cohabitating I never allowed our finances to be comingled. It was incredibly difficult for us to make the financial transition after we married. Truly, of all things that was THE most difficult. I have always been the "skinflint" and the "nervous nellie" when it comes to money. I remember living in a little town where there were no jobs... and how humiliating it was to have to ask for some money to go to a movie and then to ask for some for popcorn, too. An "allowance" was never offered and I had to "justify" every request for money. It was a defining time in my life. I swore, that when I got my first job NO ONE WOULD EVER USE MONEY TO CONTROL ME AGAIN. And I remember being so afraid of what I didn't know... balancing a checkbook, making intelligent decisions with savings, investing. My parents never talked about money, it was as though it was "dirty"; even though they lived frugally and lacked for nothing. I sucked it up and learned how to do those things because if I didn't, I understood I would be vulnerable and in a position to be manipulated. And you know what? it's not hard, at all! it's actually fun. The helpmeet was much more cavalier than I with respect to money (didn't take much, lol). He was never a wanton spender, but he wasn't always so good about getting bills out on time and never lost much sleep about interest or finance charges (drove me nuts). But he had a much healthier attitude in the greater context; never laboring under the awful, nagging fears that I did. So... after a few good fights about it we sat down for a "board meeting". We agreed to do the bills together; but I was given the responsibility to call the terms because doing so allowed me to put the kibosh on interest charges and any late fees. We worked out a strict budget and he stuck to it. We lucked out, I suppose. He's no longer is "late", pays no interest, and we no longer fight about money (he has thanked me for showing him how easy it can be!). Either of us could pick up the reins and take over in the event of catastrophe. Best of all, though, I am now at ease with money; no one controls me with it and I'm secure in the knowledge that there is plenty of it to meet whatever needs we have and even enough to spend on FUN THINGS! (imagine that?!) I will go to my grave knowing he imparted that simple belief to me; it set me free. Really. It wasn't easy gettin' here. You mustn't allow your husband to dodge the issue by saying he's "sick of spread sheets"... that's an excuse (and it's unfair to put the responsibility for success or failure on YOU!), the spending isn't about the new toy, it's about something bigger. I'd bet a nickel on that. If you want to get to a trusting place with your finances you have begin by being honest and putting all your debts on paper, establishing a budget and being accountable for it, and sitting down TOGETHER every month. Silvercomet is absolutely right... this is IMPORTANT stuff. It doesn't have to be unpleasant, either. One of the nicest aspects of this process for us is the time we spend together talking about what we want for our future(s). It's gone from perfunctory attention to bills and statements to presenting ideas/goals/and seeing possibilities emerge. It's empowering and it's FUN.

This has little relevance to what we discuss here.

We have a Dynamic electro-static filter like yours on our geothermal HP. I would not change ours. IMPO SR

Hooray for empty cabinets! I've got some empty space now as well. So strange and wonderful. Ended up with commercially made metal wall shelves in the garage and the spacing didn't work out for a rack over the freezer but at least there are a couple of bins on top rather than things that could fall behind. If something can fall behind it will and if you make a stack it will fall over so I avoid them at all cost. I am not happy that the space between dryer and freezer is unassigned, someday inspiration will strike. My garage is done. Had a great time making hangers from scrap wood for that big stuff that won't fit on shelving. Best was solving 2 issues at once. Needed a way to store garden tools and had a wood box without a job. It was originally for computer boards, about 8" square in cross section and about 30" long. I turned it on its side and cut slots through what used to be the sides to hang long handled tools. A slot cut through one side now top holds the loppers upside down and I used scrap hardboard to make dividers that conveniently slid into the board slots. That helps support the tools and made some little spaces for my gardening shoes, pruners and gloves. Used a couple of shelf supports without a job to hang it on the wall.