tell me about it. DD is 20 and she still cleans like this. Shoves stuff everywhere she can just to empty horisontal surfaces and hopes to clean it later. I have no advice for you.... :)

On the other hand people often rush when they have to do somegthing they don't like. Your son clearly does not like to do homework or clean so he rushes. If he likes somehting I bet you he does not rush. i hate grocery shopping so i literally run through the store throwing stuff into my cart just to get out of there, and then i always find out that i bought wrong items and didn't buy what i needed.

I have no advice though how to make a 9 year old kid to like cleaning his room. I didn't succeed with mine.

My son was the same way, and it seemed to rise to new heights in the 4th grade. I just pictured myself as the brick wall, and always made him do his work or chores correctly. He often had to redo his homework because even he couldn't read it.

My son didn't have any kind of learning or developmental disability, he just wanted to be finished with his work so he could play.

As he matured and got older he internalized the fact that it was easier and faster to do it right the first time. By the time he started high school he was a very responsible and efficient student. Believe it or not, I came to bless the fact that he does his work quickly, puts in enough effort to get the job done but no extra. He was able to accomplish quite a bit in high school - time-consuming sport, difficult classes with good grades, internship, etc., thanks to his hurry-up-and-get-it-done-good-enough approach. He is now doing very well in college.

But the late elementary school years and middle school years were heck. It was very hard for me to stay the course, there were many afternoons I doubted myself. We also used short-term rewards and long-term rewards, combined with insisting that he do his work reasonably well and legible, and checking behind him every single day to make sure it was done. Consistency was essential. If my son hadn't improved, I don't think I would have continued to hold the line after 9th grade.

In contrast, my daughter was meticulous in her work. She would take forever to get it just the way she wanted it. Sometimes she would ask to stay in at recess so she could get everything done just the way she liked. In elementary school that was wonderful, but as she got older and took harder classes she had to try very hard to prioritize, get her work done efficiently, do it well enough and then move on. So perfectionist kids have a difficult time as well.

I hope you find something that works for your son.

I don't expect him to like cleaning and homework, just to do it right the first time!

Glad I am not the only one with this issue though...thanks for sharing finedreams.

And ya, when he likes things he can do it all day! He collects old coins and the other day he spent an hour or so online googling all his coins and writing down the value of each coin! Funny how he wrote so neatly on the notebook paper for that (probably because he was going to be the one reading it so he wanted it readable..LOL)

Thanks daisy (I saw your message after I posted my message)

I had not thought of how it would be to have a perfectionist (maybe dreamed of it right now!) But hopefully my son will turn out like yours!

I just remembered these tips our middle school gave to parents when my son started middle school. We tried these, and they do help.

Set a consistent homework time for your child. For example, they have to spend at least 30 minutes on homework every night, or an hour, whatever. If they finish their homework early, that's fine. They can organize their notebook, study, do an extra worksheet, or read a book, but they have to spend at least an hour (or whatever your set time is). The "read a book" option would NOT have worked for us AT ALL because my kids love, love, love to read, but for kids who don't like to read it's helpful. I highly recommend making notebook organization a part of their homework routine.

We did the "at least an hour" thing for my son, and it helped. No matter how much he rushed, he still had to put in a certain amount of time. For my daughter, we reversed it - she could only spend two hours, then she had to quit no matter what she hadn't finished.

Have the kids do their homework in a designated "homework spot" where they are relatively free of distractions but you can still check on them often. No music or tv while they're doing homework. Have all the tools they need handy in their homework spot so they don't have to hunt pencils, erasers, paper, etc. My son had to do his homework in the dining room while I was cooking dinner.

Good luck!

My SD would do her homework on the bus ... faster homework is done faster than can go out and play ... she couldn't even read what she wrote and because of this the school wanted her tested for special ed... saying she can't read .. etc. etc. So after she got off the bus I looked at the homework and asked her to read it if she couldn't read it it was erased and she did it again so now she tries harder to be neater, if its a lot of writing she waits till she is sitting at the table to do it.

As far as getting them to do it right the first time ... good luck!!!

What I do is ask when they say "it's clean" I ask is it "pseudo clean" or SC clean? well come back when its "pseudo clean" ...

Lesson for the day!...Do it right the first time or do it till you get it right!

Mine have regular chore charts plus I leave a note afterschool for them with a task listed that has to be completed by the time I get home from work ... about an hour afterschool. Task usually takes 5 minutes to do.

I know its bad but I was cranky one day (one of many) but anyway ... I had asked one of them to put away the clean dishes when I opened the cabinet the next day a cup fell on me and the silverware was just thrown in the draw. Being a SAHSM I had waaaaay too much time on my hands :). So I rearranged all the cabinets and draws ... moved cups where plates are put silverware in different draw. They came home went to get a drink couldn't find the cups ... wanted cereal couldn't find the bowls or spoons... even harder setting the table for dinner :)

Lesson for the day ... put it away where it belongs so you don't have to go looking for it.

It will take 4 attempts to get my SS11 to put his clothes away correctly (same with homework). I think its just kids they think the faster they get done with it the faster they can get back to doing what they enjoy. I got really sick of correcting him over and over, he's a pretty smart boy so what we did was made a math problem of it. I used a timer one night (he didn't know about) and timed how long it took him to get his laundry put away with having to correct it four times, then compared it to his brothers time (his brother usually gets it done correctly on 1 attempt) and showed him how much more 'free time' he would actually have if he didn't do it the 'lazy way'. That seemed to really strike a cord with him.

For Homework we do the same as daisy he has 'homework time' so no rush on doing it correctly.

My hubby always says to the kids ... you are going to spend more time complaining about doing what needs to be done... (homework, showers, laundry, etc.) than it will actually take you to do it .... guessing I need to dust off my stop watch... and actually show them.

There is a "correct" way to put away clothes? I would think that as long as they are "put away" it doesn't matter. I would be happy if when they were done the drawers would close.

What's the point if the clothes get so wrinkled that they look like they slept in them? There IS a correct way wot put clothes away, it's called folding and hanging neatly.

There is also something called pride in a job well done and pride in one's appearance. I think it is a poor reflection on a parent that is out and about with raggedy looking children. (ie. wrinkled, dirty or torn clothes an unkempt appearance) and wrinkled clean clothes still look raggedy.

I do think there is a correct way to put away clothes. First of all they should be in the drawer and not hanging outside the drawer when it is closed. Also, I like my kids to have one drawer for socks and underwear, one for t-shirts, one for pajamas, etc. This way they know where to look for items and do not have to dig and mess them all up. I fold the clothes and give them to the kids to put away. I expect them to be folded when they go into the drawer. This way when they take it out to wear it there are not tons of wrinkles, like IMA mentioned.

How did your kids clothes get put away TOS?

I would never buy anything that required ironing. Blue jeans and cotton or cotton-poly t-shirts or turtlenecks don't wrinkle badly, unless you squish them into a ball.

Some of my kids fold their clothes neatly, some don't, and some just leave them in the clothes basket until they wear them. They don't usually get wrinkled, so it's not a big deal.

i tried to never buy clothes for DD that required ironing because she would just stuff them into anything: basket, drawer, bottom of the closet and it all would get wrinkled.

The correct way to put clothes away is so the child can find them and not come running to me. I dont care if child sorts by style, color, etc. I dont buy anything requiring ironing. I dont micro-manage.

My DD has one friend who sorts by item (eg, sock), then color. This child, by the way, is diagnosed with OCD and is on medication and is now attenting a special school.

Ruh-Roh!
I also sort my clothes by item... and then colour... and then amount I wear it... (My closet is PRISTINE)
Maybe I should see a doctor ;)

LOL- ceph and I thought I was bad that I organized my crafty things and my clothes my color... but you surpass me :-)

A friend of mine has OCD/ADD not medicated ... by choice ... her food cabinets are sorted by size alphabet type use etc.. like a supermarket kind of creepy

Clothes sorted by color style length anything on them logos decals long/short sleeves jeans by fade.

She takes days off of work to organize her childrens rooms....

But anyway her children "mess with her" they move stuff in the cabinets out of "order" take stuff with them to school and replace it at bedtime... they unfold and fold her clothes the wrong way ... hang stuff up that should be in drawers... They move stuff on her constantly....

Even when we go out to dinner she is organizing other tables in the restaurant my hubby will move stuff that she just organized drives her batty. While he is eating she organizes his fork placement/napkin whatever just to drive him nutz.

Recently, my SS was told to clean his room. He did. A few days later he was complaining that I wasn't doing the laundry and he didn't have an boxers. I thought that was odd as the laundry was pretty caught up. I decided to do a load so my SS would have some boxers. I took his laundry basket and started sorting and putting clothes in the washer. Guess what...I found folded clothes mixed in with the dirty laundry. When he cleaned his room, instead of putting away the clean clothes, he threw it all in the dirty laundry basket. I was not happy. My husband called him to us and his response was 'I guess I have to deal with it then'. We were like..no, I'm doing more work and washing clean clothes. I then looked at his drawers. He just shoves things in the drawers when he is cleaning. He couldn't find something if he wanted to. I told my husband we are rearranging his dresser and he is going to start putting things in designated places or he isn't getting his allowance. That is going to be happening the next weekend my SS is with us.

lol I sort my clothes by all kind of categories including colors, etc. It is not OCD, I am not a very organized person and i am this way only with clothes, i have too much clothes and I am kind of overly protective over my clothes. and everybody's clothes, not just mine, i organize BF's clothes this way too. lol

My boys were the same. I think it's just kids. The only way is to nag for about 15 years and hope it sinks in when they are 25 and living with a partner.

I kids used to shove their school uniforms under the bed and then announce at 745 am they had nothing to wear.

After missing the bus several times because of this, I swore dire punishments and made them write out, "I will not put clothes under my bed" 500 times.

A month or so later they came to me again. No school uniforms. With steam coming out of my ears, I marched into their rooms and looked under their beds. No clothes. I checked the closets. No clothes. Where did the clothes go?

They shoved them under **MY** bed. LOL.

Now their clothes are all on the floor. I gave up. They do wash them, having discovered that girls don't like to date guys who wear dirty, smell, moldy clothes. Girls apparently don't mind wrinkles.

My 16 year old son would shove the dinner dishes under the sink and turn on the empty dishwasher and wipe the counters beautifully. I would see the glistening countertops and the dishwasher humming along happily, and give him permission to go. One evening after he'd left I went to the cupboard to get a scrubby. It was filled with dirty dishes. I called him on his cell and told him to come home, I needed him for something. When he arrived I said, go look under the sink. He nearly fell down laughing. Apparently he'd been doing that for months, and would wash the dishes the next day after school. The jig was now up; I did think it was pretty funny too.

You just gotta be on these kids all the time--and who can do that and keep their sanity?