This is a very long story, but rather unique and I need help. I have been married to my husband for 16 1/2 years. Right before he and I met he had a relationship with a woman, I will call LG, that his mother didn't approve of. It only lasted about 6 weeks, but during that time LG became pregant. She told my husband's mother. His mother sent LG away telling her that if she ever told my husband that he had a child with her she would make sure that LG would lose her other two children. My husband and his mother never got along very well. There was a period during our marriage that they didn't speak for 7 years. To try to get back into his good graces she showed him a picture of his daughter and told him about her. Apparently my husband's entire family was in on the secret. No one would tell us where the daughter lived though. I worked for a lawyer at that time and had access to a resource in locating people. I found his daughter. She was 13 at the time. I am leaving a lot of this story out because it would be more of a book than it already is. We went to where she was to meet her. As soon as she met us she was calling him Dad and me Mom. Within hours she said she wanted to come live with us. We took her back to her bio mom after a week. They lived in a total shack and they were filthy people. They smelled SO BAD. We flew the daughter, I will call CD, to see us over Christmas breaks, spring breaks and summer break. We paid to have a phone put in their house and paid the monthly charges so my husband could talk to CD. I could tell immediately that she had some behavior problems. Her mom told us she was "street smart". With her mom she was allowed to run the streets. Her mom is a drug addict with no job, driver's licence, car, etc. A real loser. This loser raised CD. CD has already been sexually active. At her first visit to our house she was rubbing the leg of one of my husband's friends under the table. She was 14 at the time and our friend was 30. He didn't tell us until she had gone back home. She would throw trash behind furniture. One night she was eating grapes and threw all the stems behind the TV sitting on the kitchen counter. I was already building up some bad feelings towards her. She came to visit us again this past summer. She told us she didn't want to go back to her mother. They took a DNA test to confirm paternity and my husband was the bio dad. We filed for paternity and custody. We had bio mom served and she never responded. Now this horrible teenager has been in our custody since June. She is 16 now. She has the mentality of about a 13 year old. She lies about everything. She is sneaky. She will wear one thing out of the house and change clothes at school. The clothes she changes into are not appropriate to be wearing at school. We have a septic tank and my husband noticed there were no tampons in the trash when she was on her period. He told her not to flush them. We had our septic pumped last week and it was full of them and applicators. He confronted her. She said even though he had told her not to flush them she had been. She has no idea how to bathe. She smelled so bad one evening like dirty private parts. My husband told her how to bathe. At least now there is a wash cloth in the shower. I don't know if she is using it or not. She eats like an animal with her hands and then touches everything. She is SO destructive. She slams cabinets back into each other and the hardware makes dents. She hits the dishes into the cabinets. There isn't a piece of wood trim around a door or a piece of furniture in the house that she hasn't marred in some way. The latest is a scratch about 12 inches long, 1/4 inch wide and pretty deep into the wallpaper and sheetrock in our back entryway. We have told her how hard we have worked to have nice things and she has to take care of them, but it doesn't work. We had to move the furniture out of her room because she was destroying it. It is furniture that belonged to my mom. She kept dinging, scratching, banging and we told her we would move it out if she wasn't more careful. They very next day she took a big chunk out of the corner of the dresser. We moved the furniture out. I am getting to where I hate her. I can't stand the sight of her or the sound of her voice. She is a stranger that is supposed to be my husband's daughter, but it sure doesn't seem like it. We hardly knew her when she moved in. I want her to go back to her bio mom, but my husband won't hear of it. He feels like he needs to try to give her a chance in life. He has no great love for her. He tells me that. He doesn't trust her. She is ruining our life. We can't go anywhere because she can't be trusted by herself. She and I steer clear of each other because I blew up at her when I found the scratch in the hallway. Our relationship was bad before that, but now it's worse. I just want her gone and our life to be like it was before she came to live with us. I have suggested family counseling, but my husband will not hear of it. She is totally messed up and she is getting worse, not better. HELP!