Firstly - I am sorry this may not be a suitable forum or the right type of query

I have not done this before so hopefully I wont miss anything out. I am a 28 year old girl and had previously been in a relationship (my first ever) from 17 to 25  we were engaged although things were not right and I should have left at the time  but I was very young for my age and very scared  we had just bought a house together and I really was not happy. I could not really talk to my fiancé and at the time I met another man and totally fell in love  which I think I had never really felt before. I was 25 and the new person was 34. I found out from this new person before we were involved that he was unhappily married and had been seeing other people although his wife was 6 months pregnant. He also has a 2 year old boy. This surprised me as he didnÂt act at all as if he was with anyone and definitely did not seen to act like he had a child. One week later he left his wife and moved in with his Father. I used to meet him for lunch and occasionally after work and we were very close although nothing at this stage had actually happened  I still felt bad about it as I knew we were falling in love really deeply. The next thing that happened was when I was at home and I had a call from his (now ex) wife saying that she knew I was seeing her husband and that she was going to make my life hell. I confronted him about this and he told me to ignore it  but she bombarded me with texts and phone calls and got her friends to call my office pretending to be headhunters and tax inspectors and all sorts in order to find out who I was. At this stage I was still with my boyfriend and I was totally confused about what to do as I had been with him so long and was linked to his life and family and friends in everyway  I didnÂt have the ability or knowledge to know how to deal wit the situation and I really didnÂt know what I wanted. The new person was also bombarding me with flowers and text message and wanted to meet me all the time and sending cards / poems / presents to me  it was a very difficult situation. This went on for months before eventually the (now ex) wife found my address and called round to me house when my boyfriend was there and told him what she thought was going on. My boyfriend asked me and at the time I denied everything as I was so confused and the situation was I felt out of my control. I would say that at this time I had no real notion of the situation I was in  I canÂt explain without a billion additional words  but I was totally messed up and confused with it all. I knew I loved my long term partner  but I also knew I wanted to be with this new person and which I found so confusing as my entire life had been spent building a life I now was not sure of. ThatÂs just the background  sorry its so long  its so complicated. I stayed with my long term boyfriend and was still threatened and abused by his ex  she visited my parents, sent letters to my family stating that her husband was HIV positive etc etc. she used to park outside my house and tell me I had private detectives watching me and also her parents often called to my house and would park over my drive and tell me they wanted to see my partner and talk with him  and be abusive to me. I ignored all of this and tried to get on with my life. Eventually my partner and I split up and some weeks later I started to see the new person properly and was very very happy. At the time he concerned me because he slowly stopped seeing his children. I found it difficult at first to accept the situation and that he had children  as I felt that we were soul mates and we agreed that we felt like we were supposed to be  so in my head it seemed wrong that he had children with another person  but I was still very naive and young at 25. I am now 28 and have had the most difficult 3 years of my life. I am still with my new partner and he is now divorced from his ex wife. He didnÂt see the children for nearly 9 months when we were first together and I could not talk to him about I  he would just say that it was something he needed to sort out. Afterwards he told me that he didnÂt see them as he loved me so much and was scared of losing me  he didnÂt think I would accept them and found it hard to deal with himself. I told him that this was a stupid thing to think and he just said ÂI know what you are like  I was scared of losing youÂ. In this time his ex has still caused trouble and one evning stole his phone from him when she was in a bar and kept calling me over and over  I thought that it was my partner  so I was shouting down the line telling him to say something. The next day she had reported ME to the police for harassment and said that I had said down the phone that I would Âbreak the childrenÂs legs!!!  which I thought was unbelievable. 2 of her friends also said that I did this at witnesses. I was furious with this and the situation that she had previously created by contacting me and stalking me  so much so that the next time I was out for the first time I retaliated and after a few drinks I sent a text (from my partners phone) to her  which I know was wrong  but had been building up inside me for so long. Again  she reported this to the police and I now have a written warning to stay away from her and she cannot contact me either

My new partner and I have now lived together for over a year now in my house I used to have with my partner and we are due to move out next week and into a rental property together, His partner has still caused problems for him throughout the divorce and with the children as she will not let them near me or see me  or even for them to come to my house when I am not there so my partner can look after them. My partner works 6 days a week and has the children on a Sunday  he also put them to bed (in her house) on a Tuesday evening. She has started to ask him to look after them more and more  and to stay over more and more (she goes out for the night). I miss him awfully when he is away and I only see him some evenings  so our relationship has drastically changed. He feels extreme guilt for not seeing the children and the ex is also very manipulative and will use his guilt and the children to get what she wants. His ex does not work, he gave her a beautiful house worth 500k) and a huge lump sum (170k) and £100 per week maintenance) and she still asks for more money and says he is not doing enough. She puts a lot of pressure on him and uses the elder child (now 5) to manipulate my partners feelings. I think he should see the children and I donÂt stop him at all  but he wont tell me when or anything and he will make promised to his ex and the children and to me when he knows he cant keep them all. A few weeks ago (he was opening a new shop) and I had been working there in the evenings after my full time job to paint and stock etc. We opened on the Saturday and were exhausted. I had asked him to have the Sunday with me a few weeks before  so we could spend some actual time together and he said yes. We got into our own cars to drive home and then he called and told me that his exes gran was ill and he had to go look after the children  I knew that this was a lie and it had already been planned so I confronted him and he admitted that the week before he had planned it and she was going out and now he had to do it and thought that in the week he would have been able to get out of it!! He went anyway and I went home. Then last week we had a few days away (Thursday to Saturday) and just as we got to where we were going his ex called and said donÂt forget you agreed to have the kids sat afternoon  which he had arranged knowing that our flight would not get back till 11.30pm and told me that he had not told his ex he was going away because it would reflect badly on him!! Now we are due to move out of the house in less than 2 weeks and he has decided that he wants to take the kids away for a week over Easter and that the only thing stopping him is me because I need help moving out  I am just so confused and he keeps telling me I deserve better and he is messed up and keeps letting me down  which he does. I would love for the children to be part of our lives and everyone (apart from the ex wife) would be happier  as the children would see their Dad happy and in a loving relationship (we are extremely in love) and they could come whenever they like and his ex would have a break. But she will not allow it. I know that this is going to ruin our relationship (as it already is) and also if things donÂt work out  it will ruin my life too  as he is the one for me and I will stand by him every step of the way. I want to feel the same loyalty and dedication back  the way it used to feel. This may not be in the right forum or written in the right way  but please does anyone have any advice (or questions). Thank you