I have to say right now its ankle-biting critters. I've already been to the dr. once for 5 bites from I know not what. Have used Off religiously since then when working in the yard, but neglected to before visiting a neighbor, DUH. Jannie - There's a little on/off gizmo you can buy that screws onto the end of the hose, then you can screw on a hand sprinkler (or whatever) to that. Then, when you need to make a change, just turn the lever to 'off', make the change, then turn it on again. They come in various forms, plastic to metal, but are inexpensive and can be found in any garden dept. They do narrow the flow a little, but otherwise are very handy to have around. Carol Here is a link that might be useful: shutoff valves

Bonjour Sunnygardener, I was wondering where you were lately considering I hadn't seen any of your posts or replies to posts. I am glad to see you still come here. Sunnygardener, i know so much how you feel. We have commented on each others posts. This is what i have to say. I once heard that you do not have to love everybody you meet during your lifetime. You really, really, really don't! I know you feel like you have been kind and generous towards these stepchildren and still they still treat you like crap when they feel like it. Inconsiderate, rude, selfish, etc. etc. etc. I know you have alot of resentment towards these stepchildren and when we do have these feelings towards people, it hurts us. It's not fun. However, i suggest you talk to DH about your feelings ( talk just a little bit at a time, otherwise its going to become a big verbal argument. I know. Been there with DH. His kids can DO NO WRONG). This time however, don't ask DH how he feels about your feelings, etc. No. Just tell him how you feel, that it is very hard for you to accept what his son did. It was totally disrespectful and you are not going to pretend no more that it didn't bother you. You will be polite towards this young non intellingent careless man, but nothing more. That's it! That's all. Don't even make a bit story out of all this. Instead, show your DH you have made up your mind on this issue and that's that! When stepson comes along next time, say Hi, don't ask how things a re going, don't ask him a single thing. Nothing. Don't even ask him to have a seat. I know, i know it will be hard to do cuz i did it mayself with my oldest SD and believe me I was really unconfortable not being nicer towards her, not being there for her, not being all in a good mood when I saw her. Believe me it is a hard thing to do but once you do it, you will go to your room and you will give yourself a tap on the shoulder plus a super big hug and you will tell myself : i am so nice to myself, i love myself, luv luv luv. Nobody needs to treat me like crap. Nobody. Believe it or not, after I did this to my SD and i did it a couple of times, that is, I didn't inquire how things were going with her, I didn't respond to her silly remarks, I didn't invite her to have a seat, etc.etc. she called me for the first time in 18 years wishing me a Happy Mother's DAy. I thought maybe i should start being nicer to her. Then i decided NOPE. She has been making me sad for 18 years. Why should i start or continue being really nice to her when the day of her wedding she never gave me a corsage to wear (by that time i had been in her life for 14 years straight), she never, never thanked me for the wedding gift her father and I gave her ( she thanked her father, but not me!! Hubby was too ignorant to tell her she should have thanked me also. I haven't forgotten this event yet!). It has been three years in a row that she comes to our home on christmas day without even a simple xmas card to give us!! So, from now on, please, everytime this ugly feeling creeps up in your heart in regards to this stepson or stepdaughter, stop and breathe and remember you don't owe these people a single thing. My stepson with whom i've had a great relationship for years and years, has started to be really ignorant towards me in the last couple of years. That is, he doesn't call on my birthday, doesn't bother to shop for me at xmas, never calls to say hi. Now he is gone in the armed forces. I don't have an email for him nor do i have a phone number where i can reach him. I think of him alot and last night i almost called his sister to get the information, but then i stopped and i told myself. He knows where i live and with who i live! If he wants to talk to me, he can call! Boy do i love myself hihihiih! Keep posting!

mom2emall, do you know this girl's parents well enough to talk to them about the situation? Even if they are alcoholic etc maybe the time has come to have a diplomatic conversation with one of them about this girl. Possibly say something along the lines that your sd is really involved in other things these days, sports etc. or tell them the truth that the girl is too bossy. My DS7 has been friends for a few years with 2 brothers who live around the corner from him. My DS still likes these boys a lot but I am getting a lot of excuses from their mother as to why they can't play together. The most frequent ones have to do with baseball/football practices or games and so on and my son does not participate in that. Even though it chafes, I think that DS7 on the receiving end of the brush off from these boys, possibly because DS7 has not been in to team sports and they are, they are at different schools, have other friends plus each other and realistically, DS7 is a little less mature. Either way, I've had to take the hint and I now wait for their mom to call for him! It still happens occassionally but that's life even for kids, they outgrow each other. Luckily, he has other little friends. Maybe this girl's mother doesn't get it even though the excuses are mounting up and should just be told.

Well, so far things are better... I had a talk with DH that seems to have opened his eyes a bit. I explained that I have so many other things on my mind, the housework & even SD's attitude are low on my priority list. I told him that I am fine with her attitude & not liking me, but I'm not fine with having someone give me an ultimatum when we are supposed to be partners. I'm not going to let SD be on of our "issues". She does not have to like me but I also explained to him that it goes both ways, I don't have to DO things for her so when she says I'm being "mean" to her, it's just HER perception because I'm not offering to do things for her nor giving it any energy when she wants/needs things. She has a play this week & needs a costume. She started whining to DH last week about it and he has said several times he doesn't know what to do about it because she hasn't told him what KIND of costume she needs. Normally, I would jump in (because it's a mommy thing to do) and find out from the teacher what she needs & get it for her. Instead, I have let HIM handle it. I have not said a word and when he asked me what he should do, I could only tell him that I think he should put as much energy into seeing that she does her homework & study for her tests as he does in finding her a costume. She has a D in PE because she took a 0 last week. She got an F on her report for the play she is in. Personally, I don't agree with the way the school gives points & grades... her math teacher gave 20 points for kids that brought food in for the canned food drive. Really? Of course, I am mean Ima & said no when she asked if she can take canned food to school. I donate directily to the food bank so why give her extra credit points when she's not doing her homework? Anyway, the only input I would give on the play costume is that it's HIS thing because SD isn't talking to me and I think she should worry so much about the rest of her grades as she is about the costume. He agreed. I won't do anything for her... except driving her to her bus stop. I agree Amber that if I weren't around, he would have to leave work or figure it out. The other option would be to have him get his mom (who doesn't work & is on SD's sied against mean Ima) go pick her up, which if fine with me but SHE says she's too busy all the time so DH doesn't want to ask her. She will do it, but then piss & moan about why can't Ima do it? That's just another headache for me that I don't want/need. But, I agree it's not MY problem. "I had hoped your SD would act/behave like mine for a couple weeks anyway ..." It would be nice for her to be pleasant & she has been... in her way. She came home from BM's last night, cheerfully said "HI!" to me and I said Hi. Then she went in her room, got ready for bed & came out to say goodnight to DH & said goodnight to me. Then this morning, back to not talking to me. I don't know if she sincerely wants to be nice or if she is forcing herself. I get the feeling that she throws out a nice, friendly hello or thank you so when she is crying about how mean I am to her, she can say she TRIES to be nice to me. I don't know? It's not very consistent or sincere so I don't know what to make of it. I am friendly when she is friendly, I ignore her when she ignores me. I don't go out of my way to kiss her @$$ so she will like me because I think if she wants to like me, she would be sincere and not use me to get attention from everyone by making me the villain while she is my victim. I did tell DH that when she thinks I'm being mean to her, it's just me treating her the way she treats me... and he can tell her that. (and if HE ever thinks I'm being mean to her... he needs to come talk to me about it & not jump on me based on what SHE tells him) As for her being nice to me for a couple of weeks, I prefer her to be sincere. If she is going to fake being nice just to get something from me... and then go back to backstabbing me, I'd rather not have two weeks of fake BFF niceness from her. But, I will take cordial pleasantness, fake or real. Unfortunately for her, until she proves sincerity, I just assume it's fake. That makes me sad but it's the way it is. As for my son and DIL, I know everything JMT said is true & that's why it's upsetting to me. Realistically, I may be worrying over nothing. My DS came home for the holidays two years ago & I backed off to let him take care of his son for the two weeks he was here. It was too much for him then & the baby was only 21 months old. DIL has had the opportunity to spend more time with DGS than she has but has made excuses... has to work, wants to go out, etc. and in the last 6 months, I have provided the majority of transportation for her... taking DGS to see her and picking him up. Even then, she complained that I was an hour late picking him up after she hadn't seen him for a month. Then she went 6 weeks without seeing him and has seen him ONE time since getting out of rehab three weeks ago. I am taking him to see her this next weekend because we are going to a party near where she lives. Otherwise, I don't think she would see him. Those are not the actions of someone that wants 50% shared custody. When I visited my son in March, he said how he missed DGS before & was going to miss him more when we were leaving. I asked him if he wants to keep him & he said it was too much for him. He didn't think he could handle it by himself. So, realisticaly I don't know how serious he is about taking over full time. I would be happy to have him take a few days a week when he returns but leave him "living" in my home where he is stable... at least until he (my son) adjusts and is able to handle full time. It has to be a transition for DGS sake and my worry is more about DIL wanting to move back to the area when my son comes home. They are like oil & water. Separate, I get along good with both of them but when they get together, DIL goes psycho. She gets jealous, insecure, & starts fights... then plays victim. She has been arrested for domestic violence on him a few times but the DA never ressed charges. She claims she is the victim. They need to stay away from each other & my only job is going to be to keep DGS from being pulled into the middle of it & have him be the pawn they use to hurt each other. My mom went to Stanford for a second opinion. They did a CT scan & told her she has 5 cancerous lesions on the surface of her liver. The prognosis was more positive than her first doctor gave her. I guess her first doctor didn't spend much time explaining it to her so she didn't have a lot of confidence and was stressing out. and for holiday plans. So far, DH hasn't said anything about going to his parents at all. I'm not going to worry about it. I bought them a gift & will drop it off to them if they don't invite us over... or will send with him if they don't invite ME over. He is free to go without me. :) My niece is getting married on Christmas Eve on our property so I will probably be helping with that as well. My dad is planning to take his lady friend (he doesn't call her a GF) to dinner on Christmas day. She is spending the morning with her kids. I plan to stay home & spend the day playing with DGS unless DH wants me to go with him to his parents. It would be more pleasant to stay home than spend the day with MIL but I also don't want to put DH in a position of having to explain my absence... unless I go visit my mom. Honestly, they don't care to see me but would talk crap to DH if I don't go. LOL, they will probably talk crap whether I go or not.