Get a new lawyer, because yes this one is too laid back. Mediation isn't worth the money, time or paper it is written on.

Where are they moving to? Have you ever been told directly?

You may well end up dealing with a kidnapping situation, which will cost you a ton of money and time to overcome.

Get a new lawyer, but fast and one who understands parental alienation. Don't worry about sounding crazy, and don't wait. Act now!

FOCUS ON THE CHILD!!!

That's all the courts care about. They don't care that mom's moving.. she knows the kids are settled at their school and have friends. The court is going to be reluctant to uproot them if the father is objecting. That may be why your attorney is relaxed. Once there is a custody order, it's very hard to change custody unless you prove the other parent is unfit. Make sure your current order says she can't take the kids out of state without permission. If it doesn't, ask your attorney about a temporary restraining order to keep her from leaving with the kids. My guess is that there is already an order if she's filed for full custody.

My SD's BM has been telling SD that she's going to move her to where she lives and getting SD excited about it. She even went to school and told everyone she won't be back after Christmas break. If the court has denied giving her full custody in the past, what makes you worried that she will get it this time? (especially if she's been found in contempt before!)

The guardian may recommend things stay the same (joint custody) but that doesn't mean the court won't order dad to get physical and leave legal custody joint. They can't (or not likely to) do joint physical if the parents don't live in the same state and the child is in school. Dad should look for as many reasons why his children should stay where they are. (doing well in school, have friends, extra curricular activities, relatives, etc.) He should not just focus on how he will feel if they move, the court isn't all that concerned with how the parents 'feel'. They care about what's best for the child. Stability and healthy environment are more important. The fact that they've already quit their jobs and her DH has already moved, that may show the court that she's going no matter what... it might have been better for her to file for custody before she quit her job so that if the court denied her motion, she could stay. But now, the court will see that she's more committed to leaving than staying, regardless of custody.

"The fact that they've already quit their jobs and her DH has already moved, that may show the court that she's going no matter what... it might have been better for her to file for custody before she quit her job so that if the court denied her motion, she could stay. But now, the court will see that she's more committed to leaving than staying, regardless of custody."

This is a very good point. She has made her priorities known. Make sure yours are known through your actions with the kids and I would think a court would be hard pressed to award her full custody. Here it requires a "substantial change in circumstance" for the status quo to be changed, and I don't think they will see step dad's new job as substantial enough to uproot your SS's. Get people ready to testify as to how well they are doing now - teachers, coaches, etc. If there is another adult who the boys have told about mom telling them they are leaving that would be good - goes to show how she manipulates them. Get all your ducks in a row and be ready. Even if you don't need the ducks, it will make you feel better getting them because you are doing something and not being laid back.

I know the feelings you get when this huge uncertainty looms in front of you. You know how it should go but have no idea if everyone else will see the same writing on the wall that you do. All you can do to make yourself feel better as prepare as much as possible - make notes, think of potential questions and ready answers . . . busy work. Being prepared is the only thing you can control right now, so control it to the fullest.

I'll be sending you strength - keep us posted.

I am not familiar with your custody situation. what state are you in? who has custody now, and how much time do the kids spend with each person? HOw old are the kids?

IF mom has primary physical custody and IF the kids want to move, and IF its the wrong state, you could lose. Get a fathers rights lawyer if thats the case. On the other hand, if its joint physical or your husband has physical, and if the kids dont want to move, and if its the right state, she doesnt have a prayer, and I would merely file an objection and let your current lawyer handle it

Ima is completely right about focusing on the kids. The courts want to see involvement in the kids life.

Depending on the state though you may have a problem. If the stepdad has a good reason for the move ( job related, etc), and if mom is the domicilary parent ( even with joint custody one person tends to have physical control of the kids in my state, Louisiana), then you may have a fight on your hands. Louisiana presumes joint custody so its hard to get full physical if the other parent wants joint, and its also hard to be allowed to move out of state, BUT, if one parent has the kids most of the time and the move is for a valid reason, and if the kids are not objecting to the move, its war.

Good luck. I think its best for kids to be near BOTH parents, and I have a hard time sympathizing with any parent who voluntarily takes their children far from the other parent. I know its unavoidable in the job market at times, but a lot of times, its done just for spite.

Thanks so much for advice. We have the boys at our house four nights every week. They are 12,10. We live in Maine and she wants to move to Florida.

DH filed a restraining order to keep her from leaving and the judge denied it. He asked for a temporary order prohibiting her from leaving the state and he denied that also.

He asked to pass mediation as it has not be helpful in the past but in our state it is mandatory and the judge required it.

We actually like our attorney and the new GAL but I think DH just wants this to be over with as it is hard on the kids. DH tries hard to make this about the kids and keep them out of the middle but BM is still saying they are moving to Florida and telling them where they are going to live, all the new friends they will have, etc, etc.

In my mind and heart I feel like this is not going to happen but it is so stressful for everyone and I fear the fallout if she does not get full custody or to move. I feel like their childhood is slipping away...so sad