Hi remodel-mama!! I had the same issues. All of the trim, wainscoting and paneling in our entire house was more of a deep creamy white, so that's what I ended up doing in the kitchen. I am glad I made that choice--I like how it is all a nice neutral wash of creams.

I have beadboard wainscotting in my pantry and beadboard on my ceiling in my kitchen. I have heavy crown moldings and a fireplace in the kitchen area. I painted all the cabinets, trim and beadboard in the kitchen BM Dove White. In the Pantry the cabinets are gray, but the beadboard is white dove. It all blends well and it all goes. Here is the link to the kitchen and the pantry (actually the entire first floor). I think its best to keep all the trim uniform.
Let us know what you decide.

Here is a link that might be useful: Willow's House

Shanghaimom and Willow - thanks for your input.

What do you think about keeping the beams on the diningroom ceiling their original dark color? Be honest...

As I mentioned, I had planned on painting them the same color as the trim, but lately have started to think we should just leave them dark.

What I meant to say was, keep it all the same. (I wasn't very good at articulating that!)
I really like your coffered beams DARK. They tie in beautifully with the dark inlay trim on your floors. I assume you have/will have a dark wood dining table? If the wood had reddish/orange-y tones, I'd say "paint it!", but it looks like a beautiful, neutral dark. I would, however paint your built-ins and wainscoting a creamier, less stark white. It is a very high contrast right now which might be what is bugging you.
Gorgeous room!!!!

Remodel-mama,
It is so hard to answer whether or not you should paint your beams. Some questions to consider which may imapct the decision are: How high are your ceilings? What is the light like? What type of furntiure and rugs do you have? (ie is it dark or heavy in scale and feel?)Is there dark wood in other areas of the house so the dark beams will tie in the other rooms? What type of feeling are you trying to achieve?

From the photo the beams seem heavy and out of balance, but rugs and furniture could easily remedy that and photos can be so misleading. Also the light seems wonderful, so they may not seem so heavy. I think if you ask yourself the questions above, you will have a much better idea of how to proceed. If you are still uncertain, do not paint them, move everything back and reassess. It is easy to paint later, but hard to go back to stain.
Good Luck!!

Shanghaimom and Willow -

Here are the answers to your questions:

Shanghaimom: Yes - we plan to have a darkish dining table. Haven't decided on the exact color yet - I guess it will somewhat depend on the color of the beams.

Willow: The ceilings are 9' high. The light should be good - there will be french doors and 2 windows facing south; and light from the living room coming from the north. I will be buying a new dining room table and am not planning to have a rug in this room (not until my youngest (3 yrs) is a little older. There is no dark wood in any other part of the house. The feeling I am trying to achieve (I think) is old/classic, but new/fresh.

I like your idea of keeping them dark and then if it doesn't work, we can always paint them to match the trim later.

Couple of other notes/issues:
* I am including a drawing of the kitchen. The cabinets will be white/cream inset. The island in the kitchen will be distressed black (Amaretto) with a butcheblock top. The island color was somewhat of a random choice; I didn't want it to be white and distressed black was the only color that my husband and I could agree on. The counter on the perimeter cabinets will be Quartz in Raven (I think). We haven't decided 100% on a wall color, but are leaning towards a warm color red/orange/ color (BM Fire Dance). I know that cool colors would probably work better in this space - but somehow we want to try a warm color. With the wainscoting and the cabinets there will be a lot of what/cream to water the color down.

* The other weird thing about the coffered beams is that there are 4 light fixures sticking out of them where the beams cross. So, there is a chandelier (which we will replace) in the middle and then 4 light fixtures wih just bulbs sticking directly out of the beams.

I went on the "Old House" forum and was told that these lights are architecturally correct and most people suggested that I leave them as is.

While I would like to keep them for the sake of preserving the character of the house, I think they make the ceiling look way to busy - with the coffered ceiling and the chandelier, there is just way too much going on up there. Plus, I don't really want to look at plain lightbulbs and haven't found any type of mini shade/cover that could go on them.

The problem is, of course, that if we take out the light fixtures, we will be left with big holes in the beams that will be hard to fix, as well as expensive. This is partly why we had originally planed to paint the beams the same color as the trim...

So, as you can see, I have some issues to work out! Let me know what you think I should do.
thank you!!

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