It was sad reading this, then when I saw the pics, my heart broke! Heartsick is the correct word, Karen. What else could you be with such losses?! My heart goes out to you. We lost our 15 year old dog Nina Jean this past summer, and everyone in the family took it hard. There was only one Nina Jean, and only one Feather and Brindle! Thankfully we can love another pet that needs us with time. And the loss of 2 friends .... what a kicker of a month! Bless you Karen, I know you're suffering, and wish I could help someway. Hugs & Love ~tenderlee

I guess I maybe shared that much because I wanted to paint the entire picture. I wouldn't bring up how she treated him (in court), because I know no one will care. However since this is a wrongful death lawsuit and not anything to do with an estate (he didn't have one), the attorney's of a very large lawfirm told me that I will have to prove my husband's relationship to myself, our son and the other son. This is when it was believed to be a muti million dollar lawsuit and I am very practical and don't believe anything until I see it but sadly the entire family and the stepmom were spending the money before it is even here. I had to have conversations with his family about RV's they thought they would be able to buy and that my H supposedly promised them. I was around since he was 15 and it was a different thing he would say he would buy "if I ever become a millionaire". That was in his youth or when we were up late at night and just daydreaming of winning the lottery and what we'd do for people. I will not paint her in any bad light but I don't know what to do if she paints it in a way as if he was something wonderful yet I have tons of emails proving otherwise. I'm not sure why my lawyer ever said that those emails I will want to bring, but this was again back when it may be millions. The facts are that in 2006 I became gravely ill and have since had 10 surgeries that were huge. I am now on full disability and am not the big money earner I was from 2000-2006. 2007 changed everything for me and I became a person who has nurse visits and lives on tube feedings and my H who did everything has been replaced by at least 5 pepole. I guess that is something they thought was important, that he was my primary caregiver, set up my feedings, came home every afternoon during lunch to get my meds put into me via a tube, etc. They said that my need to rely on him would be of benefit, when/if it went to how $$ would be split up. That came from the atty but back then I tried not to think of any of this yet it's now here and I'm seeking guidance. I don't know that there's any standard as to how a lawsuit is split and since there's so many various factors. I want the children to get an equal amount. I don't want to show any favortism to my son, it should be equal and I love my ss still, she just won't let him around. When we got married my H was self employed and was in arrears due to his young ignorance of how to manage $$ and the courts, even down to never asking for a set visitation schedule which came back to bite him later. He didn't have anything then but knowing him as long as I did, I knew he just needed the help to tap into his gifts and get a good career. He did so well they wanted him to be a teacher but that's just how it was with him even since h/s. He was truly gifted with many talents but didn't have much direction. I shouldn't have brought up what I paid off, I was trying to be open to share the whole story b/c I read others on here where there was too much left out. A will wouldn't help him because he died w/o an estate but mainly b/c this is a lawsuit due to a tragic death. Where I got my direction from was the atty who thought a wife who also relied on her H for caregiving needs, as well as the financial loss from now until retirement and after, 50% sounded fair to him. The kids, well actually his first son got child support and my H was very, very good after he got past that intial hump and was paying $540/mo and now the son gets over $1300 and my son also gets the same amount because of Social Security. I don't get his SS because I get SSD, so the kids split their dads full SS. I'm really trying to be fair yet I share my worries of what to do or how to act if I am hearing how wonderful he was. Drama, I agree and I don't know if I sit there or what to do, b/c of course there is a long history of bad stuff and it was directed one way. My H- was really good at just ignoring and waiting for that side of her to cool off but the things that she got mad over was like a memorial service we were going to, 2 wks prior to my H's death and she didn't want her son going since he can't handle death. The week of the funeral I was being yelled at b/c I didn't have my ss carrying the casket of his dad and had him down as an honorary pallbearer. 2 wks earlier he can't handle a memorial service and now I'm to even think that he can handle carrying the casket of his dad? I never dreamed that I'd be dealing with that but there was much, much more that went on for almost 2 years post death. I was getting hit all the time, even told I removed Life Support too soon, etc. I dealt w/ alot of painful things said and done during that time. So not to repeat but I do know this is very long and I try to touch on the points to show how things went. We got a certain amount of $$ that is being contested by my ss's mom. I was told that no judge would think 50% to a wife and 50% to kids, split, is unfair esp. w/ the fact of how many people it's taken to fill in the gap of my deceased H and the care he gave me. I didn't know what to do, what to ask for, or anything, I just took the advice of the atty who then seemed to change with each person he spoke with afterward. Finally he got the rest of the family to see that this is not enough money for the type of death and loss and w/ that, he found it best to just go to the wife and kids. What is being contested is the first 50% to me and of course the children getting and splitting equally the other 50%. I have a son to care for too, for 9 years longer and that is going to come from my portion of course. The children I want to have theirs put into an acct. where 1st access is 21 (so grants for college don't get affected by access to money at 18). As for me, I bring up my past only b/c it's something I have to deal with. After the death, everyone came up to me saying that what he couldn't provide in life(from the beginning when I paid off a lot of his debts to the end), will now come back in this lawsuit. I never took that seriously b/c why would I count on something not here? Secretly I was excited only by the fact that if it were big, how that would be fun to split up amongst the family since I'm the trustee but I don't get that chance to do that now. I just never thought I'd be going to court over this. I went with what the atty said and it's being contested. I just hope I'm well enough to go b/c I am in a hospital 1-2 times or sometimes weeks every month or so. Hope this made more sense. I know I give lots of info but I try to make it so the whole story is told. Hopefully I don't sound like a greedy stepmom, that is the farthest thing from the truth. But I need to look out for us too, b/c I can never provide ins. for us if I needed to. I can never get private ins., I'd be in a high risk pool. Thanks for reading this whole thing.

PO1: "jess, maybe I raised one kid who isn't into sports but you didn't raise any kids! So I don't see how it is even relevant who raised how many kids and what their kids did. By your logic you shouldn't be posting on anything kids related due to having zero experience on the issue. "my kids"? You don't have kids." By the same logic you should not be posting here. I am helping to raise "my kids" along with my husband and their mother. My point was that you do not understand having a kid in sports and what that means to the kid. I believe it is relevant. You have never been in a situation of having more than one child nor have you ever had to try to please 4 kids, a BM, and a DH all at the same time. YOu have no clue how OP feels, you just like to be ugly to people to make yourself feel better. You had a little fit when you thought Silver told you that you dont belong here because YOU are NOT a stepmom. You have been told that several time on here because its TRUE. You can act like whatever you want to but legally your not. You have complained about your SO's adult daughters, stealing your stuff, not taking care of your house,being selfish and spoiled, and about BM being drunk at Her own daughters wedding and how you saved the day. Wow seems you have some BM bashing in your history. I think you want to be SM but for some reason you still are not married to your SO. I think you even moved out for some time and moved back in not too long ago. Now you want all of us to think your SO's kids love you, and its all great and full of sunshine and butterflies. We are not fools and can see through you Miss PO1. PO1 "Also well rounded upbringing involves more than taking kids to play baseball. There is art, music, books, travel, and old fashioned discussing life with them. And don't forget about being a role model with good values (this one is the most important and beats any baseball games). It is naive to assume that running kids to games and arguing with the kid's parent is the best parenting." You are so narrow minded. So you think that kids that play sports (its not just baseball) know nothing about, art, music, and dont read books and that they are not receiving a well rounded upbringing. Really??? We do not put our kids in the middle, we all make sure they get to start and finish whatever activity its is. Momof3 is not putting her SS in the middle either she just wants whats best for him and is willing to fight for him, while his BM is won't. Thanks Silver, I had not had a chance to read the post and respond.

See my post just under your's....fairly similar situation, except my SS has taken it even further. I sure wish I had some answers, but in my case I think it comes down to he is going to be this person he is, which is a bad person, until life slaps him in the face and he grows up.