I like the tankinis -- more practical, and not necessarily more revealing. IMHO. But my DDs camp did not allow when she was 13 (apparently the counselors had too revealing suits. GRRR).

My daughter isn't yet in her teens. I'm hoping she follows in my side of the family though. All the women have been very conservative of dress. Even my younger sisters (in their teens) do not wear bikini's of their own choosing.

I agree with tankinis. I even prefer them over one piece's myself.

I like tankini's. For some odd reason they seem less revealing to me than one piece's.

My daughter (17) is very conservative and self conscious, she wears a one piece and sometimes shorts over it. I think it depends on what the child is comfortable with and what looks better on them (for their body type). My SD wants to wear bikini's and is not at all bothered by being revealing (that's another issue) but I buy her Tankini (with boy short bottoms) because they cover more but it is still a two piece. Her mom puts her in a bikini. (She's 8 but the same size as a lot of 12 year olds and looks that old too) Even with a bikini or tankini, I would get a wrap too. I guess I'm a bit conservative myself.

Depends what she is comfortable in ... what is her view of her body image?

My first choice would be tankini but some 13's wouldn't be caught dead in one... others would rather wear their dad's t-shirt over their bathing suit rather let anyone see their developments.

I have a feeling I know where this is going ... guessing someone bought SD a bathing suit ... that's a little too revealing???

I personally dont see anything wrong with a regular bikini. But, the difference is I am a florida girl through and through. And, bikini's are a way of life... they are worn just about everyday under your clothes to be able stop by the beach at any ol time...

I mean if she isn't acting well let's say grown... I don't see anything wrong with whatever she feels most comfortable in. I personally wear takini's now... ((hey I have had kids)) But my girls both wear bikini's and I make them wear the standard dress or shorts with them....until we get to the beach or pool then who cares.

DD was always big breasted with a rather slim body, one piece never looked right, only when she was really young. we always had to buy two piece, i am not sure what is tankini? DD had one very nice two piece suit, bottom was like short shorts. not revealing at all.

I would add that whatever is chosen should fit well. If it's a size too small, it changes a lot of the dynamics of whether it's appropriate or not. (as well as the style, color, etc.) I wouldn't let my daughter wear animal print, but some people don't have a problem with that. I agree with mom_of_4 that demographics/climate are important too (and lifestyle), I don't hang out at the beach or pool, but those that do are more comfy in bikini's. I'm a CA girl but don't live anywhere near the beach, I live in the mountains.

FD, tankinis are too piece suits that may show a little at the waste or may not. But not much. Think Tank suit and bikini -- you get a two piece suit, that may look revealing but may not (just like many one piece suits), and is much more convenient.

Cawfe guessed it. We have had problems with mom buying suits that were a little old for SD for years. This year she actually asked if I could go shopping with them so we could pick out a good one but we were going to the beach for the weekend and I couldn't make it. I said we liked tankinis - something down around her belly button, a high enough neckline to cover her up and bottoms that cover her crack, for lack of a more tactful way to put it. This is especially important to us because they are going on a Mexico cruise for Spring Break and SD will be hanging out in the "teen club" with kids 13-17. There was a news story recently about the number of rapes that happen on cruise ships. Put the two together and you get a bit of a funny feeling in your tummy.

So, here is the suit they came home with. I can't figure out how to get links to work with Target's new website so you have to cut and paste, sorry.

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41eykfWpyQL._SS260_.jpg

Do you think DH would be out of line to voice his concerns with BM? My SD looks older than 13, acts older than 13 and wants to be older than 13. She is not modest and loves this suit. Her mother got one just like it in a different pattern so she gets no modesty lessons there and never has. It just makes us very nervous that she will be parading around on a ship for 5 days in this.

What say you?

There is NO WAY my dh or I would allow either of my sd's (11 and 13) to wear those suits!!! They do not like one pieces, so we have always bought them tankinis. They would never think of wearing something so skimpy though....even their bras are the sports bra type, not "grown-up" looking bras. That is what I have always bought them and they have never complained. And they have some sports bra type bras with thin straps for when they wear tank tops in the summer.

I would definately talk to bm about the swimsuit and give her copies of the rape articles for her to read. If she choses to let sd wear the swimsuit on the cruise with her there is not much you can do, but hopefully she will realize what a bad idea it would be.

kkny, thanks for explanation.

I have 13 year old daughter who is heavy chested and she will not wear a one piece or a tankini because they do not support her very well. One pieces make her look even bustier and a tankini has a shelf bra that gives her a uniboob...that being said we found through LLBean and Land's end very tasteful two piece bathsuits that cover everything up quite nicely.

One suit is a halter top and conservative bottom

http://www.landsend.com/pp/BeachLivingChainlinkVneckHalterSwimTop~180866_593.html?bcc=y&action=order_more&sku_0=::BTQ&CM_MERCH=IDX_00002__0000000134&origin=index

She is a very conservative dresser having been in Catholic school for many years so I give a little leeway on bathing suits as I understand that being comfortable is as important as being covered.

I think there all types of tankinis with all types of bras, but if you and your DD are happy, that is the important thing.

I was just annoyed when DDs camps said no, becuase they are so much more convenient than one piece suits

I think the cup size is only part of it. A B cup on someone my height looks small, on someone short it looks fuller. I think that suit is cute as long as the back has coverage. It's a little skimpy, but not horrible. How does it look on her? Weight also makes a difference. Something that looks cute on a skinny girl will look trashy on a chubby one (unfair, but true).

I doubt there is a correlation between rapes and bathing suit styles!

My SD has a darling figure that looks like that of a 16 year old. This suit does nothing to make her look her age - it does the exact opposite.

The correlation is not with a suit per se as it is with the impression it gives of a person. Additionally - what do you think a 17 year old guy will find more appealing - my 13 year old SD who looks 16 with butt and chest hanging out of this little thing or the girl next to her with chest and butt covered by a tankini? If he has decided to look for a little Love Boat romance who do you think he will turn to first?

Mostly my daughters wore/wear tank suits, because you can swim better in them, but I don't think that suit is inappropriate for a developed 13 year old. It would look kind of odd on someone who was a AA.

Rape doesn't have anything to do with sex. Rape is about violence.

Well here is an off the wall suggestion....

She is going on a cruise for 5 days??

Is she going to want to wear the same suit every day ???

I would break down and go buy another one or two "just in case". She might like the ability to change her suits like outfits she wouldn't wear the same outfit everyday on the cruise. And you could get a style both of you can agree on. Maybe even a nice cover-up you know extra sunblocker.

We go to the beach everyday sometimes twice a day my SC have atleast 3 bathing suits each. I pick them up end of season ... plus they have atleast two at mom's her parents have a pool.

I certainly agree more than one suit. I also agree with TOS re rape being a crime of violence. But I would also be concerned that SD dress her age and hang out with others her own age. My experience with "teen club" type of activities is that the 16 and 17 year olds wont be caught dead there, and it will be the younger ones. But you will have to check it out.

I have that suit!
But I'm 26... and I even thought "whoa, this is pretty revealing!" when I bought it... But I figured I probably only have a few years left that I'll have the body to wear it, so hey.

I wore much more modest bathing suits until I was about 19 though...
My teen bathing suit was a bikini, but it was boyshorts and sort of sports bra style top... It didn't show enough to look trashy, but showed enough that I got a little attention from boys. Those little shorts are a great choice, especially if you'll actually be walking around or actively swimming (no wedgies to worry about) and they look really cute on teenage girls

I don't think you know anything about rape if you think the bathing suit she wears matters. You have basically just blamed thousands of people for their rape because of the way they were dressed. Cruises probably have a lot of rapes because cruises have a lot of drunk people and people who have a "I'm on vacation, I'll act reckless" (what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas) attitude.

I think the suit is less of an issue than her being allowed to hang put with 17 year olds. What is the supervision situation? Can she be talked into drinking or using drugs? Some kids are followers, some kids have a "take no crap" attitude. Which is she?

She would be better served if she were taught street smarts, self confidence, and that she shouldn't worry that someone won't be friends with her if she says "no" (no matter what that know it about: drinking, going to a room alone with someone, sex).

go with cawfe's idea of buying a few more suits. We do the same thing here in florida ... I probably have way to many bathing suits for my own good and my kids too... but they are like outfits and/or accesories... and to be honest half the time they are mix matched but tis the life of living in the hot sun :-) ... Get her a few more suits that you feel more comfortable with and personally I don't see a whole lot wrong with this suit... It is a little smaller than some bikinis but it has a cutesy innocent thing to it with the polka dots and all... get her a thin white (or whatever color those dots are ) tank and a short jean skirt to wear with it and that way it would be more conservative but still trendy and cute.

And I would have to agree with kkny with the teen club thing... 16 and 17 year olds are going to be way more concerned with getting into the "grown up" clubs and doing their own partying and most of that age group I know DEF.. would not be at a teen club...

Just be very blunt with her before she goes.. things happen.. people can put things in your drink ... have fun but always be aware and always use the buddy system... a girlfriend or someone should always be with you or aware of where you are at all times just in case.

I loved to party in high school and college... and still like to cut loose every now and again.. But, one rule me and my girls NEVER broke was leaving to go somewhere (especially with someone we just met) without taking a friend.

SD has at least 3 suits here - 2 tankini's and a 1 piece - that I can think of, but she is going with her mom. I can send suits with her, but that doesn't mean she will wear them. She likes the revealing bikini and wants to be older than she is. She sees tankini's as babyish. This is the same girl who went to Victoria Secret with her mom and now thinks those are the only "real" bras you can wear. We had found a darling new tankini at Kohl's she really liked and I thought that was what she and mom were going to go get, but I guess I was wrong.

We have talked 'til we are blue in the face about the kind of attention revealing clothing will get you, the type of opinions it could cause, and the thoughts that could enter a boy's mind. When she dresses for school each day she looks great. When she comes back from her mom's she is in daisy duke shorts, a spaghetti strap tank and pedal pushers. She likes the attention. She is a follower, no matter how much we have tried to teach and show her that being a self-assured leader is the way to go. We have tought these lessons from day one, but her mom is very into being popular, having lots of friends, having boyfriends . . . the other end of the spectrum. There are two different messages taught in two different homes and I think she likes the one from mom's better. It scares the s#*t out of us to think what could happen.

I hope you guys are right about the teen club, that does make sense. She won't have anyone there but mom, baby sister and step dad so unless she makes a girl friend there is no buddy to stick with. I honestly hope mom will make her babysit a lot so she won't be left to her own devises much - how wrong is that?!?

Sue, I was in no way trying to say that a victem brought on a rape by their clothing. The rape issue was just a worst case scenario that caused additional worry. The point I was trying to make was that hanging out in a group with older boys in an older suit on an older body could put her in a situation I'm not confident she would handle well . . . or a situation that would be beyond her ability to control. I doubt she will have much supervision as mom is generally concerned with either the baby or amusing herself, so if hanging with teens gets her out of mom's hair that is what will happen.

I need a tums.

My SD is 12 and she wears all types. She's not heavy chested so never had a problem there. She looks good in all types actually. Quite slim and all colors are good as well. WE've never had a problem with BM or my hubby. He does get all upset about the makeup but hey! she's a girl!!

justnotmartha,

I realize my post was a little harsh, sorry. I've had that happen to friends, and I guess it hits a sore spot.

If she's a follower then I understand your concerns in general. My niece is like that, (school) smart girl, but she can be talked into pretty much anything by someone her age or a little older who she thinks is "cool". And she LOVES attention. Sigh, my sister eats plenty of Tums!