There are no extended stay hotels in my town except something like Holiday Inn Express Suites, which is nothing more than a regular hotel room with a sofa and mini fridge, and it's $90 per night.

Can't use an under bed storage in our room because we have a platform bed.

I will look into house sitting though, thanks.

I'm also praying for that 3 units in their complex will miraculously open. (they are 3rd on the list)

pray a lot. read the psalms (they always calmed me when going thru my divorce yrs ago).

remember it is temporary. keep things basic - like meals etc.

if they are fairly active, involve them with day to day care - dishes, etc. let them feel like they are helping you out and not a burden. MIL have any of dh's favorite recipes you never learned to make? good time to have her show you...

remember they raised him for you... and for a number of yrs he was probably a pain to be around also. we are to honor our parents - even his. pray and remember it's temporary. lol!

take this time to try to see your dh in his parents. a look, turn of the head, phrase he says etc. I think things like that are interesting.

also a good time to record some of his family history! take pics, take notes and tape record their stories of him as a kid! the day will come that dh will treasure his parents voices on tape telling about him as a kid. ask how they met and about their wedding etc. video tape them if you have a video camera.

Hello,

No matter how good you are and your in-laws are there will still be something to talk about. You need a lot patience my dear. I'm currently in that situation and to tell you frankly my migraine is always in pain. If you really don't have any option just do what you think is best for them. Give them food, shelter and safe place to stay while waiting for the opening. Don't pretend just be yourself. I'm sure they would understand your situation and they will cooperate. Good Luck!

I don't know how long it will be. The manager said they often get no notice that someone is moving out. There are only about 20 of the income restricted units. Could be 2 weeks or 4 months.

I dearly love these people and I know they dearly love us, but we both have our own ways of doing things and that's where the rub will be. They aren't terribly active, but will need to be accompanied places for awhile until they get their bearings and then I think they'll be fine. Mil is a great cook and I learned from her when I first married.

I think the hardest part will be giving each other some space. They like to nap in the afternoon and I like to do housework then. Fil likes to watch only the news (CNN) and we don't have cable and don't like to watch the news except the 6 & 10. It will definitely be interesting.

Gardenlover, how much of their stuff did they bring with them? How much of your stuff did you store or get rid of? I want them to be comfortable and know they will prefer their beds to our trundle mattresses, so that is going. But I also wonder if they would rather have their recliners and reading lamp - that sort of thing.

EEEKKKK I feel your concern for sure.

One little thing that comes to mind. You are getting rid of things you like and use in your everyday life to make room for them to make them more comfortable. I would say if you really like those things put them in the inlaws storage unit and store them so you can have them back in place when they move out to their new home. Getting rid of something you like seems sort of sad when this other is only temporary. Unless you are ready to get rid of them anyway.

Also We used a regular laundry basket in our bathroom on top of the washer and dryer because it was where they were too. I folded a pretty towel on top and it all worked fine. Kept me doing laundry more often.

If you do not have cable for TV then let FIL bring a small TV with him to your house with a chair in one of the rooms they will be in so he can watch his news in there. News can be so depressing lately. I have a small TV in our guest room with a stack of VCR tapes since we do have satellite and get no other programing. Works.

Maybe you can clean house while he is sleeping through the news. Heheheh As my hubby does. But I can vacuum right up to him when he is napping in the afternoons and it does not bother him. Ask MIL when she usually cleaned their house and how she worked around his naps?

On the up side let MIL cook all she wants. And I SECOND taping all the stories for later. We treasure the gift from friends that taped Joe's mom and Dad with family history.

My best to you.Feel free to vent to me email any time. Been there done that but it was only for a couple of weeks for us. Eyes raised to heaven. Thank You Lord.

Chris

I don't care about any of the things I am going to get rid of. I had planned to do it someday anyway.

We have 2 tvs, but I like your idea of having one in a room just for him because he is hard of hearing and turns it up really loud.

I will have to get a recorder so I can get their stories. I like that idea.

I hope it works out. I just wish we had more room.

OH Hahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaa When Joe's parents were with us he checked in on me one night because I had disappeared from the scene. His father was also hard of hearing and in our 864 SQ FT house it was hard to get away from that TV. I was reading in bed with my ear muffs on. Honest. True story!!!

Chris

Yep, I can see me locked in the bedroom with earplugs.

How about getting earphones for your FIL?

He's got them but doesn't like them. Figures.

I thought I might call some real estate companies and see if they have any houses on the market that need house sitters, or in fil's case, house sleepers. lol

"I hope it works out. I just wish we had more room."

I had to chuckle because even if you lived in a castle, living under the same roof as our parents or in-laws is always going to be, shall we say, challenging LOL.

It's only temporary, the warmer weather is here, the days are longer and the outdoors are beckoning. Eat your meals outdoors. It's always easier to pick up and clean up when you're dining al fresco. Let your MIL do the wash and then set a clothesline outdoors and hang the laundry together. It will be a good time to catch up on the days events, or just to make small talk. Your MIL will feel like she's contributing, which will make it easier on everyone.
Play board games or cards. Go antiquing, have a picnic, go sightseeing. Have DH take his dad fishing, even if they just stick their poles in the water and chew the fat.
If you make their stay as enjoyable as possible (kind of like a mini-vacation/respite), you might feel like you're on vacation, too, rather than feeling like you've taken on extra responsibility or chores.
During the nest few months you and your MIL can prepare some easy freezer meals in anticipation of their move. When the time comes they can take them to their new place and have an "easy" dinner for the first week or so...unpacking can be so tiring. Go with them and help them unpack and get settled. I'm sure they'll appreciate anything and everything you do. And remember...you'll miss them when they're gone, so enjoy the days you have. As we like to say, "Savor the chaos".

>>I will have to get a recorder so I can get their stories. >>

You might have friends who have a videorecorder you could borrow. I wouldn't buy such equipment unless I was really certain I'd get enough use out of it to justify the cost - at least, not these days, LOL!

Good luck to you.

A glimmer of hope.

Dh drove by another apartment complex for seniors and stopped by. He looked at a couple of units and then came to get me. They were nice, maybe even nicer than the other place, but they don't have a lot of senior activities like the other place. But they just opened and only one man has moved in so far. They hope to have events as soon as they have more people and see what the people want. The plus is that they have a garage and my in-laws like having the car in the garage. The minuses are that they are only one bedroom and no bathtub. Mil seems to think they need a 2nd bedroom for company and she likes baths instead of showers. She already told me my tub is too narrow for her so she is picky about a tub.

Actually they do have one one-bedroom unit but the bedrooms are so tiny I don't think they could even get their beds in.

Cross your fingers please. My house is turned upside down right now trying to make room and this would sure solve a lot of problems.

Are the activities at the senior living complex your MILs are interested in open to outside seniors? Or to seniors on the waiting list? It would be great if they could start going to those activities so they would get to know some of the other folks before they move in. It would also give you a break and keep the "this is only temporary" principle up front. Failing that, is there a senior center in your town? Take them over there just to see what's available (you could check that out first perhaps. It might take some urging to get them to go, but do try to help them get involved in something outside the house. On a schedule. Contributes mightly to sanity.

Good question tzmaryg. It's worth looking into. We put a deposit down on the one bedroom with the garage. So I guess all my fears were for nothing.

well how do your ILs like it? will their stuff fit in?

let us know!

They haven't seen it in person yet. I put pictures in photobucket and sent a link in an email to my mother, and mil went over there but told us she never got to see them. I called mom and she said she opened the file and they looked at all the pictures. I don't know if they clicked on the picture to enlarge them or just looked at the snapshot size. I had to talk mom through the process of how to open the link so I'm really not sure what they saw. The auction is next weekend and we'll take our laptop and make sure they see them before they make a decision.

In the meantime, I am emptying a bedroom just in case.

Wonderful ideas all of you have offered. So many I had not thought of. This is a thread to share should the situation come up for others.

Marti, I wish you the best and hope this becomes a good memory rather than a challenge. Know the stress all can become, even visitors for longer than norm can pose the issues you are concerned about.

Hello marti8a,

Actually, they love to read and pray the rosary. They have had brought only the stuff that they use daily. Almost everything that they're going to need was bought by us. I want to feel that they are comfortable and well loved. Because people at this stage needs to feel special. I think what you can do is just enjoy the moment that they are there in your place. Thanks.

My mother almost moved into our house semi-permanently, and we were going to deal with it by turning the living room into our bedroom, and giving her the master. I think it would have worked, too, but luckily the stars aligned and she was able to make a better move.

My point is, once I stopped thinking of rooms as bedrooms and non-bedrooms, I realized there was plenty of space.

I did have one thought when you said your father-in-law has earphones for the TV but doesn't like them. He may need a gentle reminder that he needs to be flexible. I'd suggest that you lay down some ground rules openly up front (like no loud TV!), so you don't build resentment and explode after a few weeks.

The in-laws are in their apartment now, and really like it. They do wish they had kept more of their stuff, but at the time it seemed easier to sell it than bring it. But buying new stuff or new-to-them stuff is also keeping them busy right now when they could be sitting at home being homesick.

OH I am so glad for you and them. Buying new things is good. They can make it feel like home again soon.