I wish I had found this site last week. We are in Toronto, Canada and have just signed a contract to replace our old Oakwood Ironworks, cast iron 1919 boiler. We love that old boiler but the Gas Company and Direct Energy, who rent us the gas conversion burner for the boiler are getting out of the conversion burner business. The conversion burner is breaking down, not the boiler. Anyhow, we are putting in a Triangle Tube model Solo 399 stainless steel boiler at a huge cost. (We are an 8 plex apartment building) We went with installers in business since 1908 who seem to be very good. I doubt we will live to see our money back as we are now 68 years old and the cost, installed is $33,000.00 plus, Canadian dollars.

I have a 7 y/o DD, too. But she has three brothers, two older (14 and 11) and one younger 5). When DD has friends over to play they are often fascinated by the older brothers and their friends who might be here, especially my 11 y/o. I subbed in a 2nd grade class last week. My 11 y/o came to the room to meet me at the end of the day. The 3-4 girls still in the room were instantly little flirts! I didn't know they had it in them, but they wanted to be right next to DS, snuggled up to let him read stories to them, show him their "cheerleading" routine. I told people about it later, it was a phenomenon I had never seen before. And I have talked about this phase of girlhood with other moms of young girls. My DD is one of the minority who is not at all boy crazy. The thing she has in common with the other girls in that group is that they all have older brothers (older seems to make a difference). Between DD's brothers and their friends who are here all the time, DD has an immunity or something. LOL. Boys are not a new mystery to her, they are an extremely annoying fact of life. She doesn't see them as cute and charming, she sees them at their worst. She just can't seem to convince her friends that boys are really just mean and stinky and generally "not all that." The other thing I've talked about with other moms is how annoying it is when adults notice a pretty little girl and only comment on that trait. I try really hard not to do that, especially in front of the girl. Some of us make a point, when we hear someone say our daughters are pretty, to say "Thank you. You should see how well she writes." Or reads, or play soccer, or piano, or how kind and caring she is, or how funny she is, etc. Especially in front of our daughters. There is too much around young girls that reinforces the idea that their value in life is in getting the attention of boys. I think with the private parts exposure, you should just calmly tell your DD that should never happen again. That the boy was not funny when he did that, it was rude behavior. I might also ask her how it made her feel, pick up on the "weird" part of what she might say and say that's whey it's rude, it makes other people feel weird. I also really think I'd tell the boy's parents. Not in an accusatory way, but b/c I think they should know. Maybe it's something they've dealt with before with him, and they need to know it's still happening. Even as if it's the first time he's done it, they need to know so they can have a conversation with him. Not b/c I want him punished or to make a big deal of it, but for 100 reasons, I just think I would give another parent a "heads up" on that kind of behavior. I absolutely agree it's probably innocent and within the range of normal, but a parent should still be informed. If a kid has fun with the response he/she gets from showing private parts, he/she might be encouraged to try it again and maybe take it farther next time. As for the dancing, I think the next time I had my DD in the car alone I'd start a conversation about dancing. How she likes to dance, why she likes to dance that way, and how sometimes in life what's OK for adults is not OK for kids. From dancing and clothes to certain drinks and certain words. Then when I saw her dancing that way again, I'd remind her "we talked about that, that's a grown up dance, not a kid's dance." I'll confide, I think little girls are encouraged, in subtle ways and sometimes not so subtle, by our culture to behave much older. From their clothes, to music, to toys even. It's not right that 6 y/o girls are encouraged to emmulate a 16 y/o young woman. I cringe at the latest Barbie commercials for products that come with pretend credit cards for pretend shopping sprees. I even say outloud w/my kids in the room "That is so wrong!" Maybe I'm a little freaky, but I am picky about the dolls I let DD have. I think she should play with dolls that that look and act like little girls. Not ones who wear make-up, mini-skirts, high heels, and shop and have boyfriends. I choose books for her about girls who are fun, strong, and smart, and make sure she learns about real women to look up to for their accomplishments. I have no tolerance for relatives or family friends who tease any of my kids about having a boyfriend or girlfriend. I remember how that felt as a young kid and teen. It's embarrassing and feels invasive. My mother would never do that, but I have some aunts and adult cousins who think it's funny. As soon as I hear it I just say "Come on, that's not nice." and to my kids "You do not have to answer that." And change the subject to something my kids are happy and proud to talk about, like the latest "A" in school or score in sports. Oh, and you're so right about the job being harder in a new way as the kids get older. It was physically exhausting when they were little, with feeding, cleaning up, diapers, etc. Now, it's emotionally and intellectually exhausting, trying to stay ahead of the next hurdle. I tell people I think the job of parenting changes when your kids reach an age which you remember being. Make sense? I remember small things that happened when I was 7, 11 and especially 14 and how those small things stuck with me, for better or worse. So I am conscious of how my choices and responses will stick with my kid who are that age now.

Your sister sounds like she lives in an alternate reality. Mine is the same way. What seems like illogical to us is their reality. My sister slapped DS and then tried to say DS "provoked" her by mouthing off. On what planet is it ok for a 26yo to slap a 10yo across the face? Whatever happened to personal responsibility? But, to her, it makes total sense, and she's even convinced other people. Of course she leaves out important details like she had been talking bad about me in front of DS for months. But, see, in her alternate universe, that is perfectly acceptable. My advice is to stop arguing with her and do what you need to do. You'll never win the arguement because she'll always change things to be in her favor. So do what you need to do and let her be mad at you. Sorry you're having to deal with this crap.

I don't know about your state, but in mine students can have an IEP for having ADD or ADHD if it is affecting their learning. Which if your sd has F's it certainly sounds like it is. ADD and ADHD fall under OHI (Other Health Impairments) on the IEP form. My ds had issue after issue in school. He is a very bright boy but he was doing poorly in school. Poor organization, not staying focused, getting in trouble, etc. The school tried not even evaluating him. Turned me down twice and told me that dh couldnt't do his homework because he wanted my attention! LMFAO! I told them he gets my attention and we play games or do something together almost every night after his homework done. I didn't think he was pretending not to understand his homework because he would rather spend 2 hours on it instead of spending those two hours playing games together! His classroom teacher kept telling me how bright he was but in the next sentence would talk about his F's and how he "couldn't do this" and "wouldn't do that". She could not understand why she could hand him a social studies study guide and a text book and he wouldn't just do it on his own. She actually sent him down to the principals office because he "refused" to do it. Really, what happened was he could not locate the answers in the text and she just kept telling him the answers were all right there so he needed to just find them! He then sat at the principals office and answered almost all the questions wrong because they refused to help him. The teacher saw he wrote down answers and told me that "see he can do his work if he wants to...he did it all by himself and they were all correct". I then circled most of them and asked her to tell me how they were correct and I pulled out the social studies text. Her face was red, the principal was mad, and I got apologies. I pointed out that he was not being insubordinate in her class....when he could not do work and she would not give him extra help he sat there in frustration. When he got in trouble for writing nothing he just wrote anything! It did not change the fact he could not do the work! I went and got an advocate, had meetings with the principal and then the superintendant, and all of a sudden they evaluated him and wouldn't you know they determined that his ADHD was affecting his learning! He now has an IEP and the special ed resource teachers are in almost all of his classes and also work on his homework during resource period every day. Now when he gets home he actually understands his homework! We all work together to keep him organized. He has a set of textbooks at home and one left in his classes. He carries around two expandable portfolios...one holds workbooks,spirals and pens/pencils. The other holds papers from each class and extra notebook paper. He still has his disorganized moments but from last year I see such an improvement! I also requested them to put in the IEP that he had time with the school social worker each week. He had such a negative attitude towards school and his teachers so I wanted him to be able to meet with the social worker. I have not seen huge gains in that area, but the school year is still early. Sometimes, for whatever reason, schools want to sit on their lazy bums and blame the parents for the kids doing badly in school! They forget that they have our children all day and that our evenings should not be filled with 7 more hours of school work! I am all for helping my children succeed in school, but the school has the resources and needs to help as well instead of doing the minimum to get by. I have learned the squeaky wheel gets things done in schools.