If you have legal custody of the child, then go get her. Do not give SD the choice. She has an illness, and until she can get her life straightened out (and her meds, if that's the problem), you are putting your GD in a bad situation by letting your SD make choices involving children. Obviously, the courts saw that GD needed to be in someone else's care, and you are that someone else. Go get her and bring her home where she feels safe. Maybe pick up the rest of the kids while you're at it.

The papers we have are not ordered by the court. I had to push my husband to let me write them up and have them signed and notarized, by my husband, myself and also my SD. The papers are Power of Attorney care and custody of Child. Will this still hold up in court? When we had it notarized, the notary said it would? I was gald to get this much from my DH, and when my SD did what she did, my husband said that the papers wont hold up in court???

Call an attorney and ask. Or call the family court in your county. Many attorneys will give you a free consultation. Take the PoA w/you and find out if it is admissible. I think it might be.

And especially in light of her mental illness and clear inability to care for her children, and continue to get pregnant. She needs psychiatric intervention and permanent birth control.

My Xhusband is severely bipolar, however as this disorder doesn't normally manifest itself until the late teens-early adulthood, I'm fairly certain he wasn't when we got married, and by the time we divorced it was just kicking in.

He's fine as long as he stays on his medication--which he never does! He is an addict, fully addicted to the "manic highs" of his disorder, which he can only acheive by using his "drug of choice", and for him that means NO drugs at all!

And when this happens, he becomes a danger, not only to himself, but others as well and usually only goes back on his medication when he is forced to, usually as a result of being institutionalized, either in a mental hospital or jail!

I hold such fond memories for example, of the time he broke into a stranger's house locking himself in their closet, and when the police arrived he told them he did it in fear of his life because he believed the nearby campers were drug lords who were plotting to kill him! He spent 2 weeks in a mental institution for that stunt.

My personal favorite was the time he was arrested, on federal felony charges of counterfeiting! He convinced me he was being "set up" as part of a government conspiracy--and I actually believed him! I even went into serious DEBT for the next 5 years to hire not just a good attorney, but the very BEST, and kept on believing my husband, right up until the day I sat in court at his inditement and the prosecution held up a sample of the evidence, a $1 bill that had been artistically altered to look like a $20. Right then and there I KNEW he was guilty because I recognized his artwork! So I went to the attorney and told him the truth, along with all my husband's bizarre behavior and stories. That attorney was worth every penny too, because he went straight to the prosecution and managed to convince him to drop the charges completely on the basis that my husband had no malicious or illegal intent--he was just NUTS!

Thank God he cheated on me because I never would have divorced him for any other reason. He remarried and had 2 children with his current wife, and what he did to me is NOTHING compared to what he's done to them, oh like, almost killing his one daughters trying to force the alien "pod" out of her, setting their neighbor's house on fire to stop him from developing biological warfare weapons, and his wife hasn't just caught him cheating on her with other women--but men as well! He commits these acts while in his "manic phase" followed by his "depressive phase" during which he suffers extreme remorse for his actions, to the point of becoming suicidal.

Everytime I see his current wife, who is now confined to a wheelchair with MS with HIM as her only caretaker, my heart goes out to her and I say to myself, "there but for the grace of God, go I."

Bipolar disorder is unpredictable and can "ebb and wain", sometimes the symptoms can completely disappear, even for years at a time, other times can result in a complete psychotic break from reality, paranoia, delusions, hallucinations, and even hearing voices similar to a schizophrenic. It is a scary, scary disorder.

So in my personal opinion, your DH has GOOD REASON to proceed with extreme caution in dealing with his daughter--who could disappear with her child tomorrow, or worse, and how would he protect grandbabies then?

Wow this story sounds very similiar to a situation with my sister. She is also bi-polar. She had two girls 1 and 3 and their living conditions were horrible. My mom convinced her to let the girls live with my parents and also signed power of attorney papers. When my sister would get mad and ask for the girls back my parents told her to get an attorney. They would see what the judge had to say about where they belonged. She never pursued custody she knew she didnt have a leg to stand on. Now 15 years later the youngest just went to live with her.

Imamom2, my parents basically raised a second set of kids and it was really tough at times. It is a huge committment which I'm sure you realize. The girls are gone now but some of the damage that this situation has created is ir-repairable. For the girls...not having their mom or dad in their lives, and my parents with that unspoken guilt, resentment overcompensating etc. All those things that go along with this type of situation.

The situation is hard either way. Getting custody will be a long term committment which of course you already know. As in the case of my folks, it seemed the right thing at the time, however everyone still ended up bruised and scared. I'm not convinced there is a right or wrong answer here. I wish you all the best though.