Amber, we are set up with the title iv d support office to go after bm to get her to pay her support. There is no dealing with them on past due support. It's due period. They won't take it off unless it's paid. I've been dealing with them with my ds11's case for 11 years also and my dh is adopting ds11.... they have told me time and time again there is no taking back support off until it's paid in full. I don't have to be told again that that can't happen. I also would NEVER do that. Like I said, I have receipts for EVERYTHING for the past year as far as extracurricular activities and medical bills that she owes for. It's $393 total. So, if she'd like to pay her attorney to draw this up and go to court I'm all for that. I'll bring all my receipts that prove what she's supposed to pay. I've just recently won a medical bill war with ds11 bd. I had no lawyer, just receipts. I won. So, I guess we can take out everything else I said dh paid for.... we still are owed more then she is and this doesn't even include the back support. I threw all that extra in to show that she's a biotch and is totally selfish. And just so we are clear here..... whenever my dh paid for any of those things it was because she would tell him ss would just go without because she wasn't going to get it. So he would have had shoes that were too small or raggity hair, etc. We could have also taken her back to court asap back then for a lower support order because we had him more then the 10% of the time the original order was drawn up for.... we had him more then half the time. I did consult an attorney about that then. DH just decided he didn't want to fight her. Again, I'm fine if she wants to take this to court. I have my receipts that prove she owes us more then we owe her. So in the end she'll owe us and her attorney. That's totally fine with me. I'll see her there with bells on. I keep meticulous records now with her because I learned with her that she can't be trusted. I dare her. Let's go. Also, dh can't remember if he paid it or not. I didn't think he did... but since technically I won't be allowed to speak.... and he's not lying by saying he didn't know if he paid it or not we can go with that. It wasn't to be paid through the courts anyway, it was to be paid to her directly. So after 11 years I doubt she can show proof that it wasn't paid as well as we can't show proof that it was. I honestly don't believe a judge will side with her on this.... and again if he did.... she'll still owe us money in the end. Psuedo.... it's not technically on credit yet. It's not going to be reported anywhere unless we all stop paying. DS16's bd was set up with them to pay half each month. Yes, it's in our name but they will call us when they don't receive their payment. Then we call them and biotch at them. In the end I paid ds16's braces fee..... and I'll be taking that bd to court soon if he's not paying me back. I give him a break more then anyone else because he does most everything else he's supposed to do.... just not buy Christmas. UGH..... If she doesn't pay, in the end we will pay it but she'll be going to court to get that to us. And no, I'm not worried about paying an attorney, I'll go pro se. I already won this argument in November with ds11 bd. All you have to have is a receipt. I'll also get her to pay by threatening that if we go to court we will go to court to have her support raised as well. When support was established she didn't have a job.... she has a good job now she just doesn't want to part with her drug/alcohol money. I know this sounds horrible and manipulating but it works to get the bio parents to pay sometimes. She's more manipulative then anyone I know so she deserves some in return. This orthodontist will work with me because I should own at least a door to his building. Spending like $20000 and staying on top of the payments gets you some assistance if that pos doesn't help out. They won't just send us away.

The SM does have a son of her own so her being jealous of the time he's spending with his bio children is beyond me. Of course the CS he pays doesn't cover all expenses. The extras I'm asking about I always ask to split the cost with him equally. Trust me when I say that the vast majority of what my children have is because of the support that my DH & I provide them. Sometimes there are weeks & even months that I haven't rec'd CS because bio dad has decided he didn't like his job anymore and quit. Having him add the children added to his health insurance would be ideal because it would not cost him another dime because he already has his wife and her son on the plan. The problem here is that again, he loves to job hop so there is a possibility that my kids would be stuck without medical again whenever he feels the need to quit his job again. Last year he worked for 3 different employers! I've seen his w2's ( he wants me to help him with his taxes ) so I know how much he's made the past 2 years so yes, I feel like what he's paid for CS is pocket change. He says he doesn't have a problem with the CS amts or the extras that I ask to split with him 1 or 2 times a year. He says it's his wife that has a problem with it. This is same wife that said he wasn't allowed to buy his children any Christmas gifts because they get gifts from me. The state of Texas states that I should be getting 30% of his net income ( 3 children ) but I am getting a little over 10%. That's fine. We can deal with it but when your family is making well over $115K a year why is there an issue with buying your kid something or splitting the cost with me? Again, this is bio dad making the money and he tells me he has no problem with helping out....it's his wife that complains about the money and the time spent on his kids.

Yes she has to call stepmom Mom. She does it so she won't get into trouble. She doesn't like it because it's awkward to her. Dad and I divorced when she was 4. Dad met stepmom during seperation. Dd met stepmom right after divorce. Dd called stepmom by her first name for the next 4 years but then all of a sudden, she has to start calling her Mom just in the past 8 months. It's so weird. Oh Dd asked me a weird question today. I had a lightbulb go off in my head and I wanted to tell y'all. She just out of the blue said, I think it's so weird that my dad has to pay you money but you have a car and he doesn't. I just paused for a minute not sure how to answer because I have never told Dd about child support. So I asked her to explain her concern further because I wasn't understanding her point. She said you and Stepdad work, Dad works but he makes more money than both of you and you still have a nicer car than he does, he doesn't even have his own car.. So many thoughts went through my head and later, my Dh and I brought it up to each other and we laughed that both of us had the same thoughts... 'well if stepmom would get a job then maybe your daddy could buy himself a new car! AND SM drives a car that cost what mine and DHs cars combined cost... But alas that wasn't my response. I just told her yes Dad pays what is called child support and it's court ordered. You live more time with me and so the state says that both parents have to equally provide for their kids and that means he gives us money to help pay for your clothes, shoes, toothpaste, roofing, heat, water, etc. AND daddy doesn't have a car of his own because he has a vehicle that is provided for him by his boss and so he doesn't need one of his own, right? She said OH that would be so silly for him to have two cars. Every morning he would have to flip a coin to see which one to drive! Why does this jerk think he has to share every detail with our daughter?? She does not need to know the ins and outs of family court... I do wish there was a way to prove all of this and put his butt back on supervised visits where he belongs!

Myfam, you're communicating fine. We all have insecurities. PO1: I don't think it's typical at age 30 to be insecure. I think there are a multitude of issues that can make a person react certain ways. There are many people who are never insecure about possessions and many who are insecure until the day they die. In your case, Myfam, (as in my mothers) you and X had things, then you broke up, and now he's with someone who is so insecure she needs to show you what you are missing (ie, things). The thing that my SM and Second Wife don't realize is that you and my mom aren't married to their husbands anymore FOR A REASON. SM is constantly trying to shove my dad's money in my mom's face. It's laughable, really. My SM is extremely insecure about money. And selfish with money. And pretentious. It makes me sick. And DH's family has friends who make the same sorts of comments to me. I've had to grow a thicker skin. I used to cry about it. I think a lot of it is just getting experienced enough to stand your ground. One of my childhood friends married a wealthy man, and I was at their house one day and she said "I own X number of acres" and then she asked me how much land I owned. Now, this is not a "classy" question to ask someone unless there are circumstances that preclude such a question. Not something one asks in front of other people at a party. I laughed, and said "hardly any... I live in tract home in suburbia!" And she turned up her little nose. It was amazing to watch. I was laughing outside and screaming inside. I haven't gone back to her house. She doesn't work. She didn't get her college degree. She married a rich guy. I got my degree. I work as a professional. DH and I have a respectable number of assets for our age. Can't buy love, can't buy class. What I've started doing is approaching it with humor. When I said that to my friend it was obvious that quite a few of the older people there were laughing with me because she was so obviously "new money". Remember that only people who are insecure about what they have will put you down for what you have. Those who are secure will rejoice in your happiness and abilities and want to bring you up. And know you are not alone :)