Christmas break....driving me nuts!!!

17 years ago

Any other NCSP out there who have SKs for xmas break? My SS (10) is here for xmas break and will go back to his other home on Sunday. The kids here already started school so he has no more friends to play with and is bored. I talked with him about what he would be doing at his mom's to try to get an idea of what I could do to keep him occupied and he seems to have less to do there than here. It is not that he is being bad, but he does the whole "oh darn" thing when dad has to work and I have to work. I work from home (WAHM) and so we are here, but I still have a certain amount of work to get done. I have really barely worked since he has been here due to the holidays, but he still complains. My DH has not worked that much either, but he complains that dad has to work. We explained, and have done so many times, that we still have to have a normal life when he is here and part of that is working to pay the bills. I am sure this is totally normal for kids, but I get to feeling so guilty and then I get irritated because I feel like he thinks that we are just his toys that should drop everything to play with him. We see him once to twice a month on long weekends, most of the summer, spring break, and all other long holidays. My DH does usually get the weekends off that he is with us so it is not like I do not understand where he is coming from, but it just seems like no matter what I do for him such as going to the movies, toy stores, playing video games with him, playing boardgames, letting him have sleepovers, taking him to hockey games, etc it is just never enough. I let his friend stay over on New Year's Eve and he got a bit bummed that his friend could not come with us for our family fun night out the next night. I am sure this is normal for a kid and esp a child of divorce who everyone is always trying to make things up to, but it drives me a bit nuts and makes me feel so guilty. My DH says that it should not make me feel guilty and that kids just get bored and never quit wanting things and he has to deal with it, but I it still drives me nuts. He has this constant need to be entertained that I just do not get. Any advice.

Sort by:Oldest

Comments (3)

mistihayes
17 years ago
Well first of all, give yourself a pat on the back & stop feeling guilty. You have done alot with him. He is fortunate to have such a good parent caring about him. Some parents don't do 1/2 the things you mentioned. He does sound like your normal kid though.
Are there any YMCA day camps offered in your area during school breaks? Not everyone gets to take time off work & the community recognizes this. Our library has programs too.
Does he have a hobbie(models, painting, musical instruments, books)that he can do? Some time alone gives him an opportunity to be creative. How about chores that require physical activity? Working off energy helps too. It seems little boys have alot of imagination & energy.
No matter what you do, there will be times when the little guy will get bored. This is a good time for him to develop his imagination, study, or read.
My DH said I was playing/interacting with our kids more than any parent he had ever seen. It was constant. When I backed off, I did notice they started playing together more & less of a need for Mommy constantly being there.
Set some boundaries for yourself, help him recognize all the activities he has done, & also realize yourself you can't entertain children constantly. That's not healthy for them or you. Keep up the good work
lovehadley
17 years ago
I think by the end of break (whether it's Christmas, spring or summer) both the parents AND the kids are ready to get back into a normal routine.

My SS was off for Christmas for 3 weeks (he goes year round, so he gets long cycle breaks) and my DD was off for 2 weeks.

I had a great time over the holidays but trust me--this past Monday I was more than ready for them to go back! It wasn't that I wanted them out of the house--just that I was ready for life to feel more structured! My DH took a week off, so he was home a lot, and he is like another kid, with his video games and messes! LOL. It is hard to get stuff done around the house when the kids are there all day. I get what you mean about the WAHM stuff. I tutor part time, but I also list cars online and do some title work for my DH's car business. Normally, I try to put in a good 3 hrs every AM working on his stuff---but it was tricky with the kids home all day and I am now playing catch up.

We did a lot of fun things over break (movies, my DD went to a spa party, we went to a childrens' museum, lots of family gatherings, etc.) but there were times the kids were just bored and nothing, not even their new toys, could entice them. When they get like that, I usually just say "well, you have lots of books and you have movies and games and this and that...find something to do!"
Related Discussions
Nuts at Christmas
Q
Comments (10)
My favorite has got to be pecans. My great Aunt & Uncle 'wintered' someplace in the U.S. near the Mexico border & when they came to spend summers with us they would bring big bags of whole pecans that they had picked up off the ground. (I don't think the old folks could get away with any of that these days!) Sometimes they bring a bag of pecan halves that my uncle had shelled himself (he was pretty old & shaky), those ones were the best, absolutely perfect pecan halves. Mother never let us anywhere near them! lol We also used to get mixed nuts in the shell from my aunt in Ontario every Christmas. We really looked forward to getting that package in the mail. With 6 kids they didn't last long so mom & dad would often hide the package if it arrived 'too early'(the Mandarin oranges never lasted too long either). Seems to me that the hazelnuts & pecans were the first to go, along with the Brazil nuts, followed by the almonds & lastly the walnuts. Great memories! Hmmm... what was it with relatives sending us poor prairie folk nuts??? :) Do chestnuts require some special preparation before roasting? I wasn't over the moon with the ones I tried but they were roasted in the oven, not on an open fire, and maybe weren't the freshest... Ooooh, pine nuts are good too.
...See More
Taming a woodland - Am I Nuts?
Q
Comments (24)
We have 10 acres of solid woods that we are starting to tame and I have to say, it has been much easier than we expected thanks to the use of landscaping fabric. We clear an area of any dead fall, prune to the ground any small tree or large stem weed, use the weed whacker to knock the brush down, and then use a mulching mower to grind it all up. The area is then clear to plant whatever you want, and then simply place the fabric around your plants, put on some mulch, and Voila! no more weeds! This method has gotten rid of garlic mustard, poison ivy, thorny wild raspberries, woodland shrubs and a bunch of other stuff that was growing. At first I was hesitant to put the fabric down, thinking is was too much work and too difficult to plant in afterward. But is was quick to lay down and very easy to cut. When you decide you want a special plant in a certain spot, you simply move back your mulch, slice an X into the fabric and you have easy access to your soil. It is great and I highly recommend it to anyone wanting to tame large areas. This will be our 3rd year gardening in the forest and I have to say it is much more exciting than I ever imagined it would be. I thought my plant choices would be very limited but it is not true. Shade gardening is very rewarding, very beautiful and so very peaceful. Good Luck with your gardening, and so far everything you have done looks very beautiful.
...See More
RECIPE: Spiced Honey Nut Syrup Cookies
Q
Comments (6)
Khandi, here's my family recipe. This make a pile of cookies! Because the cookies are handled so much -- baked, cooled a bit, dipped in syrup, topped with ground walnuts -- there's always the possibility of a few crumbling. However, I don't consider that a problem since the cook and her helper(s) have the solemn duty of eating all the mistakes. My daughter & I have made these together several times, especially for church youth group fundraisers. I hope you have good luck with them. Sue Melomacarona (Greek Honey/Walnut Cookies) Traditional Greek Christmas cookies soaked in honey syrup and topped with crushed walnuts. This is one of the sweets associated with the holiday season. This cookie is perfect for a large party. Because the flavor improves upon standing, it may be made days ahead. Cookies: 3 eggs 1Â¾ cups vegetable oil 2 tablespoons baking powder Â½ cube melted butter 1 tablespoon honey Â¼ cup orange juice 5Â½-6 cups flour Â¼ teaspoon cinnamon Â¼ teaspoon nutmeg Syrup: 1Â½ cups honey 2 cups sugar 1Â½ cups water Juice of Â½ lemon Combine all syrup ingredients in large, wide-bodied saucepan. Bring to boil, reduce heat and simmer for 5 minutes. Remove from heat. Topping: 2 cups finely ground walnuts Melomacarona Preparation: In large bowl, combine melted butter and oil. Add eggs, honey, and orange juice. In another bowl, combine baking powder, cinnamon, nutmeg, and only 4 cups flour. Gradually add combined dry ingredients to liquid mixture. Add additional flour (up to two more cups) until a soft dough is formed. Knead dough until it feels soft and pliable and it no longer sticks to fingers or sides of the bowl. (Note: The dough will be oily.) Shape dough into rounded 2 inch ovals. (Note: The dough will not make smooth cookies; the ovals will be craggy with a rustic texture.) Place ovals 2 inches apart on ungreased cookie sheet and flatten slightly with palm of hand, fingers, or fork tines. Bake cookies at 350Â° for 25 minutes until lightly browned. Let cookies cool slightly. While cookies are still warm, dip several at a time in warm syrup using slotted spoon. Be certain that all surfaces of cookies are coated with syrup. Do not keep cookies in syrup more than two minutes. (Note: Don't use a quick dip; I usually keep them in the syrup about 15-20 seconds per side.) Remove cookies and place on cookie sheet lined with wax paper. Sprinkle immediately with finely ground walnuts. Press walnuts lightly onto cookies. Let stand at least 2 hours to overnight before serving. Store in airtight container lined with plastic wrap or aluminum foil. If keeping cookies longer than a few days, refrigerate and then bring to room temperature before serving. Neither taste nor texture will suffer from the refrigeration. (Note: Leftover syrup may be strained and stored in the refrigerator and used again.)
...See More
Small rental house is driving me nuts!! Am I alone??
Q
Comments (20)
There should be a separate listing here for Living in Temporary Housing. We had hassles with our town's Building Review Board that delayed our build. Otherwise we would not have had to do temp. housing for four fun-filled months. (The hassle was illegal, but suing would have meant *two years* in temp housing while we waited for a court date. I lost 30 lbs. fighting this.) It was just DH and me and our Westie. We had a 2-BR furnished apt. with one bedroom full of furniture and boxes. The apartment above us was rented by four college boys who were living there while they worked at Great America -- late shift. There were never only four boys up there! Across the hall was the local dope dealer -- who had a competitor a few buildings away. We moved into our house and were content to live with the painters for weeks. Then we moved back out again -- to a different furnished apartment -- for a week so that the floor guy's bad hardwood job could be re-sanded and re-stained and re-poly'd. (See, you may only *think* it will be OVER!)
...See More
deborah_ps
17 years ago
I don't think kids think past "the last insant" :)

My son was alone with his young daughter for a portion of the holidays, he was calling me to help him find things to do with his own child. LOL! I had to remind him that no one needs to be "entertained" 24/7. They spent a good deal of time in the kitchen.

Occasionally I'd have one of my children plan and execute a dinner for us. I started cooking rather young and encouraged that with my own.
Could you give him a cookbook, have him write down the pages that interest him, plan a menu, and shopping list (after he's checked the cupboards for ingredients)? This is a great learning experience in many ways.

I know it sounds like a bit of work for you...but if you give him a bit of heads up, about how a cookbook is laid out with soups/salads, breads, main dishes etc. Get him excited about the project ahead of time, about how he'll be doing the shopping too. This project can be stretched out using up a whole day :) Plan a reward for keeping the pots,pans and dishes used to a low roar...something he'd get a big kick out of.

I have two boys and both are terrific cooks as grown men now.

Christmas break....driving me nuts!!!

Comments (3)

mistihayes

lovehadley

Related Discussions

deborah_ps

COMPANY

BUSINESS SERVICES

GET HELP

CONNECT WITH US