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Sports

17 years ago

KKNY, If DD is sick of sport, why doesnt she quit...Because its expected, or stick to it ness.....Do you pressure her to stay in it? She s probably really good at the sport if shes the captain, but what about the kids that arent good, and never will be? Should they stick around for the humiliation, or taunting by coaches, what lesson is learned here?I think parents are fine with saying the kid is learning something when the kid is the hero of the team, and the benchwarmer parents would say the kid is learning bitterness,hurt, feeling they dont measure up...You d have to have been there to understand...I saw my DS battle it out, never quite measuring up, and it shaped who he who is today, in a negative way, except for the fact the anger made him very creative, as his outlet...Maybe I can thank sports for that.....

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Comments (3)

imamommy
17 years ago
dotz

that is SO true. Those that have experienced being picked last for a team are going to have a different perspective than those that excelled and were captains!

I don't even want to get into the parent's perspectives because there is so much more variance as some kids feel as their parents do (or truly have supportive parents), while many other parents push the kids into activities so they can live vicariously through their kids and sometimes the kids are only in it to please the parents. I've seen the whole spectrum and it can get ugly. There is no one right or wrong answer to this issue.
deborah_ps
17 years ago
One last experience for my DS at the age of 11 changed my feelings about what team sports have become.
I witnessed the coach, not two feet away ignore blatant jeering and taunting of my child. It made me sick to my stomach. After pulling the coach aside and questioning his "teaching" practices and his response was that he was toughening up his players, well let me tell you...no stinkin way was he going to use our life time to prove what an a hole he was.
I'd had great experiences in sports as a child and wanted my kids to participate, hoping they'd have similar feelings themselves.
Poor guy suffered many years before I stood up and said enough!
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kkny
17 years ago
At this point, she doesnt quit, and she and I are on the same page, that she has one more month, she already put it on her college applications, and thats it.

She is not doing this to so I can live vicariously.

At her school, other than the football team, the coaches are pretty laid back, and care more about team work, sportsmanship. Not certain about football. No one excpects their child to earn a livlihood through sports, the most they hope for a leg up in college admissions (and people here are wise enough that other than big school football and basketball, the scholarships are few and far between).

No, I dont think a child should be pressured to join/stay on a team, especailly if they show no talent.

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