My boys receive a dollar a week for each year of their age. More simply said, the 15 year old gets 15 dollars a week. They are tied to chores. They are allowed to spend the money whatever way they want, however, if they want to go to the movies, misc with their friends, they need to make sure they save their allowance to cover it. I will sometimes front them the money and deduct it from their next payment, but I warn them that they need to plan better for these things. I also pay them 2 weeks behind so that they spend the money when they are with me and not with their Dad. This has worked out fine for us. Hope this helped.

MISstepmom has the perfect idea. That's how my parents did it, although we had a set amount. Chores not done, no allowance. Worked beautifully, although at the time I hated it!

I too give my daughter an allowance that is tied to her chores. She just turned 12 and gets $8 a week. She is suppose to keep her room clean, unload the dishwasher and clean off the table after dinner. She helps out quite a bit with her younger siblings so I sometimes "pay" her for that. I usually give her about $12-15.

~P

Ok, some great ideas. So I am not asking too much for my 11 year old SS to make his bed, put his clothes in the hamper, keep his toys picked up and take out the trash...right? He has slowly been getting into the habit but I still have to remind and check behind him. I gave him $14 last friday and he brought a CD. But I have been thinking, what about saving or giving to charity. 10% of your income should go to charity, right. So if I give him a separate back to put $1 in per week do you think that would work?

We did the same $1 per age/year allowance previously mentioned. But then we also set parameters of how it could be spent. First, 25% went directly into savings. Another 15% went for charity (church, APA, Ron.McD house or whatever they chose), and another 10% went for gift-giving (b-day presents for cousins, etc.) This still left them 50% that they could spend. No chores, no allowance. We also agreed to match anything above the 25% they put in their savings. The only thing we missed was predefining what the savings account would be ultimately used for (college, car, etc.) I would say that it worked relatively well, all in all.

Friends of mine use the savings-charity-spend plan, but including a category for taxes.:) The governing body (i.e., the whole family) then got together and decided how to spend it. I like that idea.

My kids are pretty young--well, maybe not so anymore. 10 and 6. The 10-year-old gets $5, the 6-y-o, $2.

They have to put 10% in savings and 10% for God (we tithe, so they put theirs in the offering at church). The rest is theirs.

I've never really tied it to chores; they don't have that many

I've been making chores simply be the things we all do because we live here.

Frankly, an 11yo is gonna need some reminding, and EVERYBODY needs some accountability. If no one checks up on whether you've made your bed, then it must not matter, right? If you want him to establish these habits (partly so your home looks nice and laundry is easy to do, and partly so he gets into the habit of creating good habits), you'll need to politely remind him when he forgets, and always check up.

I did, I figured we shared the chores, with them so we should share the money. I didn't pay them to do the work, just tried to teach them that you share the responsibilities AND the rewards.

My parents started giving me allowance when I was 8. I'm 18 now. They started with 5 dollars a week if I did my chores such as empying the trash, feeding the dogs, vaccuming, dusting, helping prepare meals, just little jobs. Then when I was 10 and they saw I could manage my money, They increased it to $10 a week. Since I was 10 I did more things of course. Just go with what you think your SS can do. If he can't do it, teach him. He needs to know how to do things so he can survive later in life. Since my parents did that for me I learned to manage my money and be a responsible person.
AR_Dramaqueen, Don_na_na's daughter

A few years back, I gave my stepdaughter (then 11 or 12) a budget of $50/month. This was meant to be used for incidentals. If she wanted an expensive brand of shampoo or nail polish, she could pay for it. The basic idea was defensive. Instead of me having to vote yes/no on every little thing she might want (and she has always been a greedy little materialist), she had to weigh some of her wants against others. This meant that I didn't get into a tug of war with myself, asking questions like "Am I being stingy just because she's a stepkid?" whenever she wanted something she clearly didn't need.

The budget worked for a few months and then the kid rebelled. She claimed that every other kid at her school got everything they wanted and didn't have to work within a budget. She described me as a kook to friends on the phone. I dropped the allowance and stopped granting all but very basic requests.

Earlier, I'd tried an allowance not tied to chores. That was a waste. I couldn't get the kid to do anything unless I stood over her head.

Later, I tried an allowance based on chores. That was better, but was too much stress on me since I had to do far too much checking and reminding about the chores and the kid always had something rude to say or a nasty attitude about being reminded.

My stepkid is now 17 and has a very part-time job (1-2 hours a week) and sometimes babysits. She doesn't get an allowance now and is still expected to do a few things (dishes, cat boxes) around the house. Looking back, I should have stood by the budget idea, in spite of the kid's ridicule. It would have reduced the friction between us over the long haul and forced her to rank her "needs".

Allowances can be great for teaching elemental financial planning and responsibility, but the trick is limiting how much effort YOU have to put into checking whether the chores are done and the allowance earned.

definately linked to chores-

but I'm appalled that the parent giving up custody didn't even bother outlining what the kid's used to!

especially with a boy on the brink of a hormonal explosion- stability's something they desperately need...

you might ask your spouse to wring some basic information out of the wench? like what he will and won't eat, bedtimes, TV rations, close friends, contact numbers...

then ask the lad for the same information (you're likely to get different answers) and try and find out what he's happy about, sad about, scared of-

money might not be nearly as important to him as the right to hang up posters, or practice fencing in the back yard, or getting new tires for his bike-

leave the money issues to the very end, after there's a structure that you all can work with...

and know that it may take a while, but most kids do really well once the realize the benefits of living with sane people!

My son is 9 and he gets $9 like the posters above. This is the first year that he has been given an allowance. It is not tied to chores nor can he "lose" it from bad behavior. Having said that he does have some household chores and he is punished (ususially no tv or x-box) if they are not done.

We do speak of charity and have collected change throughout the year for different things. But interesting, with the exception of a few small christmas presents that he purchased he has saved every dollar we have given him. At the end of every month I transfer what is in his bank to his ING account. He loves to see that transfer and we print the transfer slip. I have been proud of him but can't attribute thie non-materialism or thrifyness to anything specific.

lots of wisdom here, and I love the charity idea.

Bugfarm, I have to say that asking your stepdaughter to clean the catbox seems pretty demeaning, unless they were cats that she brought into the family or it's a chore that everyone alternates doing. Your resentment of your stepdaughter is palpable (calling her "the kid" is quite telling). And the behavior you described is quite normal, even if it's not desirable, in a teenage girl.

Stepmom to 2, my son is 10 (almost 11) and he is responsible for emptying the dishwasher, taking out the trash to the bin, taking the bins to the curb on trash day, and returning the bins to the house next day. He also feeds the cats and dog and makes sure they have water, and lets the dog out in the morning after feeding her. He makes his own breakfast (eggos) and used to make his own lunch before he started buying lunch. Occasionally I ask him to help me fold laundry, and he puts his away. All of this requires reminding and even sometimes cajoling from me, and frequently whining from him, but he does it.

Unfortunately, he is not so good at keeping his playroom picked up - - he really gets overwhelmed with organizational stuff, which is why we focus on more project-oriented chores. In other words, at this age I think it's fine to tailor his chores to things he is good at. Over time, we'll work on his organizational skills. For now, he does more around the house than any of his friends, and he knows he is contributing.

He gets no allowance, but I pay reasonable entertainment expenses. Maybe I will switch to an allowance when he starts wanting to go to lots of movies etc., but for now this works for us.

Good luck!

I don't do allowance. I personally, and not knocking anyone else's way of doing things, do not wish to pay my children for doing things around the house. We explain to them that everyone has a job to do and to make things run smoothly, we each must pull our weight. If they would like to go to the movies or skating or something extra, we allow it, based on behavior, grades, and willingness to do his/her share and we will give them these privileges and the money to do so. In a REASONABLE fashion. If there is something they would like to purchase and birthday or Christmas is too far, they can do extra things to earn some money. But, my children are still young so this may change when we have to consider gas money or frequent outings with friends.

I think allowance can be a very useful tool if you are able to give it. I think it teaches appreciation for what things cost, making kids more aware.

Back when I was growing up, not sooo very long ago in the 80's, my parents had veeeery little money to spare, and while they tried desperately to sheild us from feeling the worst of it, we always quietly knew we were poor. Most money went to bills and groceries, and we got only hand-me-down clothes. Dad had to find work in another state, so he was always gone. Mom felt aweful that she couldn't give us allowance like all the other parents did. She started giving us a quarter (yes, a quarter) a week, so that we could buy some candy at the store in town at the end of the month if we wanted, or save it. My sister and I were maybe 8 and 9, with a 2 year old brother and baby sister on the way. We went to a grocery store, and when Mom couldn't pay the bill, Sister and I decided that we no longer needed allowance. We gave the little we had saved back to our mom, which promptly made her cry. Even being that young, we learned that things needed to be done around the house in order to help one another; it was not a job, but an obligation.As our parents slowly recovered financially, they began putting a few dollars here and there into our savings account, which later we used for college. I am glad they made this decision for me, as I would surely not have saved it!
I dont disagree with allowance. I think that if you are able to give it, it is a good thing. I do think it should be attatched to chores: we dont get paid just for existing. Just make sure the kid can handle it...some can learn responsibility with money; some can't.

our 12 year old gets $10 and the 9 and 8 year old get $5/week.

Things our 12 year old does...make salad, set the table, wipe the counters in the morning, clean her bathroom, tidy room, make bed, clean up clothes off the floor, laundry away, vacuum carpet...daily.

9 year old alternates vacuuming carpet with 12 year old, makes bed, clothes off floor, feed her rabbit, straighten pillows in living room, wipe cupboards front, dishes at night, pooper scoop after the dog on tues and thurs

8 year old vacuums lino/hardwood, cleans a bathroom,food and water the dog, water plants,makes bed, empty bathroom garbages etc.

if jobs aren't done they lose 50cents...for talking bad, fighting etc. they lose $1..I have had weeks where they owed ME money..learned fast though...the kids do some chores in the morning but most are for when they get home after school..it is snack, chores, homework..works well