So middle sd recently signed up for the school talent show with her 2 best friends. She asked us if they could sleepover Sat. night and hang out on Sunday. This way they could practice for their talent show and have fun. We had not plans so we said yes. Even though DH has requested BM get onto some sort of regular visitation schedule she has resisted that idea. So we just let the kids make plans and if she calls and they have no plans then great...otherwise she will have to deal with the consequences of not making any advance plans or having a schedule.

BM just called me and said she wants to take the kids on Sat. overnight. I told her that middle sd has plans, but the other two do not. She said that middle sd needs to come as well. I tell her what middle sd's plans are and tell her that I have already talked to the other girls parents and it is not fair to any of them to cancel.

So she tells me again how we are keeping her "babies" from her and trying to make her look bad.

At this point I just blew up at her and told her that they are no longer babies, but I am sure that is hard to notice when you see them 3 times a year after not seeing them for 2 years! And I point out that she has kept herself from them for years with all her moving and no phone stuff. And I reminded her of how long she has been living near us for and how few times she has called or made plans to see the kids. I reminded her that she has not even attempted to see her kids on holidays.

And I asked her how she choses who gets seatbelts each time she drives all the kids around and how she decides who is expendable in case of an accident.

I told her what a poor excuse for a mother she is and how even her children and her own parents know it. I told her she is not fooling anyone. What kind of parent rarely sees her kids, rarely calls, moves to chase her bf all around the US and forgets her kids. What kind of parent does not call on holidays and b-days or does not even send a card? What kind of parent does not help to support their children?

I told her that while her new mini-van and all her expensive electronics were oh so impressive that the kids realize that she spends her money on that instead of them! I asked her if she thinks the kids did not notice they got no Christmas presents from her but saw a new flat screen tv on her wall and all their half-siblings new toys?

I asked her if she thought the kids were stupid enough to think that her random phone calls to them after their complaints to their grandparents were really so random because the kids have come to realize that she calls when the grandparents tell her to!

She sat there speechless and I could hear her crying a bit.

Oh well! Then she hung up.

I hope she feels awful!

I have had it with her. How dare she try to pass blame on us for allowing the kids to have a life. How dare she try to say we are the reason she does not see her kids!

No more kindness from me. I am not sugarcoating anything. She wants to try to pass blame...well then I am going to let her know who is really at fault!

I honestly feel so much better. I have been holding all this anger in for the sake of keeping the peace. But I am no longer a doormat for bm. I will speak my mind to her when there are no kids present to hear it.