If I was still married, i would have gone insane by now. Or....I would drive from the big city up to the mountains in a crappy house on a non-maintained road from a long day at work, where he will either be home already, or not home yet. i would cook for the family but he wouldnt eat because he had a late lunch, so there was never any family time. then i would walk to the little cabin about 1000 yards away which i basically called my second home, my solace room, turn on the kerosene heater, and call my friend Karen to walk down the road and we would happily sit in the cabin and smoke a bowl and complain about of boring husbands. Then she would leave and i would go to bed as I walked past my snoring husband with empty beer cans all round and the TV blasting and big german sheperds sleeping around him as the little mice would scurry by right in front of the sleeping dog...haha! I would crawl into bed and sleep alone (thank God becasue I couldnt stand his awful hands touching me anymore, let alone to have sex with him!) He usually woke up after wetting himself in the middle of the night to come to bed. He was/is a disgusting man! The house was filthy becasue I finally just went on strike.

Today, 10 years and a lot of struggling to get back on my feet alone, I am so happy!!!! My house is so clean, there is no one around to pick up after. I eat when i want. I can sit on my couch because my husband hasnt been pissing on it night after night. I love my home, I am so greatful for everything I have, my health, my peace of mind...! I have a great boyfriend who lives n his own house!!!!

Would I trade all this in for a smelly couch?!

I'm thinking not!

Well, I'd like to be married... but not to my ex or either of the men you two just described! ROFL!

I'm not so sure I'd like to be married again. That's the point. I'd like to be more financially secure, but I'm working hard on providing that for myself.

Way to go jyg!! We need to me more mindful of our finances anyway. Being married doesn't guarantee that anyway. So many women just don't have that command; nor do they understand the importance. Hat's off to ya!!

I wonder how many of us stayed in a miserable marriage because we thought we couldn't make it on our own??? My second husband was pretty bad but nothing like anything described here. You gals were saints to put up with that as long as you did.

And isn't it glorious that now we know we can take care of ourselves without help. Maybe at some point in time we can allow someone else into our lives without feeling threatened. This independence was hard won and equally hard to relinquish. We just have to learn to make better choices in the future and not select someone who wants to hold us down. Good luck to all of us.

Pris

It doesn't have to be a spouse, it can be families............I had wonderful day with two of my neighbor's. The meal was just veggie soup, but the company was excellent, no tension, no one walking out of the room to keep from screaming. No Labradors jumping on everyone who comes in, no people screaming at the dogs to stay down, no one screaming put the dogs in the garage, no hostess disappearing to to play with the dogs and the grand daughter (to hide taking a nip and smoking).

Veggie soup sounds pretty good right now - that makes a home, wherever you are.