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The Single Life

Let's talk about flirting

22 years ago

You know what, I never learned how to flirt. I'm a bright woman with a good sense of humor, but witty repartee is not my strong suit. What is flirting any way? Is it a look? Is it body language? Is it playful or midly sexy conversation? How do you do it and can you teach me?

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Comments (7)

browntoestoo
22 years ago
I completely lack the flirt gene. Sorry. I know what it is, but feel utterly ridiculous doing it. I occasionally flirt with men friends with whom I have a completely platonic relationship and we all have a good laugh but that's the end of it.
Daisyduckworth
22 years ago
I'm a shameless flirt, yet I don't know how I do it. My mother used to say, even when I was a child that I had 'come-to-bed eyes' whatever they are. I'm told I still do. You have to be equipped with a very quick sense of humour to get away with it, you have to be able even to laugh at yourself (which is an important part of flirting), and I've never yet made anyone jealous or had my behaviour misinterpreted as a come-on. If you play the game right, no harm ever comes of it. Most people understand the rules. Men love it, women laugh at it, and it's nothing to do with the age of either the flirter or the flirtee. You don't have to be sexy, but I think you do have to be sensual. I must ask my Ex about it - he always delighted in watching me entrance his men-friends, knowing that he could trust me and his friends implicitly, and certain in the knowledge that it was harmless fun.
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kayjones
22 years ago
Good thread!
Hello, gentlemen - my MIDDLE name is Flirt! LOL I prefer to label it "charm", but of course, it's nothing more or less than flirting. Princess Diana epitomized flirting - she could charm her way into men's hearts with her slightly bowed head (her famous character trait), her pouty smile and by looking up through her smokey blue eyes - heck - she even excited me! LOL We learn it as babies, practicing on daddy, and perfect it all our adult lives. I would never consider cheating on my mate, but WILL look lustfully at a cute guy. My guy benefits from my flirty ways.

Everyone has a natural ability to flirt - you can observe it in the smallest animals - so I would like to suggest overcoming your shyness and using what God gave you - you will be amazed how it boosts your ego to know you gave some guy a thrill and pissed off the blonde hanging so insecurely on his arm! You giggle to yourself, as you turn away, knowing things will be heated with them later - the smart gal would use it to her advantage, but MOST women would give him hell - I, personally would choose not to cut my own throat to spite my face, so I will turn his flirty ways into something my imagination can use.
puddlejumper
Original Author
22 years ago
Hmm. I'm still confused. Looks like it's time to start observing the people around me. This is one subject I don't want to buy a book to learn.
kayjones
22 years ago
Puddlejumper, just let your natural mannerisms be seen. Not everyone will be receptive to the real you, but those who DO accept your karma will be blessed. You don't want to be phony about it - just smile naturally and be at ease with yourself - everything will come together. You DO HAVE a flirt lurking inside you - it is nature's way!!!
Carrie B
22 years ago
I flirt best when I'm feeling confident, which sometimes means flirting with (straight)female friends and with gay male friends - I've really got nothing to lose there. I can also flirt back pretty well when a man is flirting with me. Often it's mildly sexual innuendos or looks, you can back off or take it up a notch.

Here's an example: When I was in high school, I was very shy and pretty much a dorky outcast. Boys didn't look at me twice. When my 20 year high school reunion came around in September, I decided to go. I dressed for the occasion, put some makeup on, and was feeling pretty sexy and confident. There was a man there who had paid me no mind in high school, but he was paying attention to me that night. He said to me, "I know about you, you're a mysterious woman". I looked him in the eye and said "you have no idea". And then I looked away from him. It was a small interaction, but it was playful and kind of sexy.

Another thing that happened the same night, with another man. This was someone I had no reccollection of (it was a big class and I didn't socialize much). I was talking to this man, asking his name and I told him that I couldn't figure out why I couldn't remember him. He said "why, do you think if you knew me, I'm someone you'd remember?". I looked him in the eye and said "yes".

Both these instances were pretty mild, but I think it was obvious to us involved that the other was showing interest.
Tinmantu
22 years ago
flirting is an asset an any relationship....It stimulates conversation which leads to getting to know someone better and it has a sense of mystery that leaves the other person wanting more when the conversation is over...what more can one ask for after perchancing such an encounter, but to want more of that person

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