skip to main content

The Single Life

Check in: are you in or out of a relationship?

22 years ago

A show of hands, please. How would you categorize yourself? In or out and happily or unhappily so? If you could have the ideal marital status, what would it be?

I would have to say I'm unhappily not in a relationship or dating, although when I look at the (cess) pool of eligible contenders, the unhappiness isn't quite so bad *at times*.

M.

Sort by:Oldest

Comments (10)

Tinmantu
22 years ago
When I see the options, I am happily out of contention for a relationship....I had my "fun" for 18 years leagally and it's still hanging around 8 years later.....I am very satisfied with being single...if I need companionship there is always a tryst
walksalone
22 years ago
Out and happily so!

Something about relationships just weigh me down, its been nine months, and I love this time...

If it works and is, it is great, when its not, the turmoil, is hard on the gut.

It really depends on your age, sorry, as for the "pool", and fourty and above is well, slim. They are divorced, usually with children, and... and....

But does it not make you look harder at the person? Where you might not have?
Related Discussions
in-laws vs. my relationship
Q
Comments (53)
I'm not asking to be 'cuddled' but thanx. And I dont 'enjoy' much in my life actually,but I'm the type of person who thinks theres no point in sitting around being depressed or sulking in my own self pity. I didn't lose my parental rights by the way. And my oldest son has his own myspace page that he posts his own pics on along with his brothers and sister. His foster mom is ok with it I guess. I have his password still tho,and if I see things on there that shouldn't be,I tell the social worker. I actually miss having to hustle, I miss getting up at 4am to make my husbands lunch,then waking up with the baby an hour or 2 later,then waing up again a few hours later to get my oldest off to school. I'm so far from any of that,I think I lost how to do it. The only thing I can do now is move forward. I'm close to getting a car(got money from a car accident recently) and I'm going to do my crime scene cleanup school,but until I can afford that,I'm going to go to school to be a phlebotomist and get paid for helping his parents out. So how do I delete those pics off of here? anyone know?
...See More
How is your relationship with your in-laws?
Q
Comments (18)
I don't really have a "relationship" with my in-laws. My MIL is frankly not the kind of person I'd choose to be friendly with in real-life; she's (like yabber's) passive-aggressive, gossipy, talking behind one's back type. They didn't like his ex; MIL and she would get into arguments into which they'd try to drag friends and relatives to be on "their side". But they've always been completely distant with me; I'd try to reach out and I'd just be disregarded. My mother tried to reach out during wedding planning and was ignored. So I've given up and don't really much care what they think of me. When we've visited them or they've been here (not often), I don't apologize, don't change things, I just remain perfectly civil and disengaged. Since they've rebuffed any effort to know me, their opinion is a matter of indifference to me, since they know almost nothing about me. DH has had his own problems with them in the past. He was, and is, the one in the family who is blamed for anything and everything that goes wrong - yet he is also the one who is expected to drop everything and run up to save the day at their convenience. I leave it all up to him; if he feels that we should visit, I go - if he wants to invite them here, I do my best to plan a nice event and ignore the fact that they will be unhappy and find fault with it. It's not often that we do see them because of their behavior towards all of us. That's right, all of us. MIL had done a lot of babysitting of SS18 when he was young, and blatantly favors him over SS8. When SS8 sees them, he is first told how they miss him and he should see them more often (maybe he should drive himself?), then treated to a dissertation on his grandmother's health issues, then questioned about and compared to his brother. And then he's just ignored - given one of his brother's old toys to play with and set in a corner. And now, since SS18 is on-and-off living with BM, the two of them (BM and MIL) are back playing some twisted game. BM will invite herself over and promise to bring SS18, SS18 will refuse to go, and BM will show up with SS8 whereupon MIL and BM go right back into their bickering, while SS sits, ignored by both of them. It's fascinating in a horrible way to watch it all as an outside observer (like watching a train wreck). I'd often wondered why DH had married BM at all (aside from the shotgun part) since they seem so different. I realized a few months ago that MIL's behavior (self-centered, back-stabbing, playing favorites and pitting people against each other, the drama queen behavior, the disagreements in which everyone is expected to pick a side) is so very similar to BM's that it's no wonder that he didn't see anything unusual with it. Additionally, DH already knew that anything and everything that went wrong was his fault and his responsibility to fix - he'd been brought up that way! Poor DH and SS; they both deserve so much better. I don't understand it, maybe they were very badly behaved in a past life or something. I'd always thought my family was kind of out there, but DH and SS love them. We may be weird and quirky but everyone is well-meaning and unfortunately there are too few like that in DH's family.
...See More
soonermagic! Please check in! I have questions for you!
Q
Comments (1)
Hi there. Last night, I posted more pictures of the kitchen in the post entitled something like "Marble and Soapstone Kitchen." You'll find some of the details there and many more pics. As for your specific questions, the range is a Bertazzoni. I purchased it from Eurostoves over the phone after simply seeing pictures and reviews of it on the appliances forum. At the time couldn't purchase locally, though now can. I do love it. It was reasonably priced, is beautiful, and cooks wonderfully. I haven't mastered the oven yet, but I am a much better cook than baker, so any oven issues I'm having is attributable to skill not the machine. I do not have a second oven in this kitchen. Again, I don't bake very much at all, so I don't have use for a second oven. For example, for T-day coming up next week, I've relegated the turkey to my husband to smoke on our grill. It'll be better than oven roasted, in my opinion, and he (& all the men) gets to do something on T-day to stay out of my way in the kitchen. My microwave is on the island. It's the Sharp Micro Drawer. It faces the sink. There should be a pic of it in my Marble and Soapstone Kitchen post. I like having the microwave under the counter. But, get the model that has a manual open and close. My model has to be opened and closed with the push of a button and it's just not intuitive. All my ceilings in the house are painted the wall color. In the kitchen, the walls and the ceiling are painted Sherwin Williams Pavillion Beige (from the concepts in colors line). In my opinion, its the perfect neutral color. If you have any other questions, I'm happy to answer. I love this kitchen and I'll certainly share my enthusiasm here.
...See More
if you haven't been checking out BING pictures, you are missing
Q
Comments (2)
I have noticed that when using Internet Explorer - you don't' get the full effect. When I use Chrome or Firefox - I can see some of the pictures moving - like todays waterfall is flowing. Beautiful. The raccoon would peek out of the tree the other day, then go back in. Another good reason to ditch IE - LOL!
...See More
marilou
Original Author
22 years ago
"But does it not make you look harder at the person? Where you might not have?"

Walks, you just described my reasoning when I accepted that bad first date. I decided maybe I shouldn't write him off too quick after sparks flew between us at the grocery store. Now I know why it has taken almost nine years for sparks to fly between me and a stranger--not only is the cess/pool shrinking (I'm in my late 40s), no one else has been that, er, socially "free*."

*(See belching and loud talking references in Bad First Date post.)
bunnyman
22 years ago
Nothing going on here. For the most part I'm happy with that. Not that I wouldn't love to meet someone special but until that happens life is good anyway.

: )
michael
Retroactive
22 years ago
I'm in one and very happy, hooked up at the first of this year with a guy I'd known and liked for about 12 years but had never dated before. Prior to this, while I'd gone out here and there, I'd not been in a real relationship for about ten years. But I was really happy being on my own. I'd pretty much accepted the fact that I might be single forever, and that was perfectly OK with me.

I think it's really important to know how to be happy whether you're in a relationship or not. It should not dictate how you feel about yourself.
walksalone
22 years ago
I will have to say I have never been on a blind date. And I have not met someone where the sparks fly at first meeting, but if I did, I would have made that gamble. So, Marilou, you show a sense of adventure, exploration and discovery. Getting out of the box.

It doesn't always work, and then maybe after a few more frogs, it may!!!

You made me realize how unspontaneous I am. I have only dated men that I have known, through the gym, work, and other activities. Can't say the result has been any better.
marilou
Original Author
22 years ago
Walks, I think it is smart to date men you already know, not to mention more fun because of the common ground you already share! :o)
berain
22 years ago
Can I say "maybe"?
Kathsgrdn
22 years ago
Out and haven't dated since my divorce nearly two years ago. I've only just started looking at the men around me in the past 6 months or so, though...only saw a couple I was attracted to, though. ) : Went on-line and have had no luck at all. The ones I contacted I wasn't really attracted to, but thought they were nice guys. Talked to one on the phone but haven't heard anything from that person again. I may end up being alone forever...not much to choose from.
jessiecarole
22 years ago
I'm out. Sometimes very much wanting to be in, but mostly okay with life in general. A tryst here and there would not go unappreciated.

I am vain enough to believe that my drought has to do with location. Age does shrink the pool, and living in an isolated place compounds the problem. I will deal with reality when I go out into the world again.

Related Stories

Unlock the Secret to Keeping Keys in Check

By AWH Construction

Say goodbye to frenetic searching with key storage that suits your needs and matches your home's style

REMODELING GUIDES Check Out Our Sweepstakes Winners' 2-Room Makeover

By Vanessa Brunner

The laundry room's organization needed ironing out. The guest bath didn't make a splash. See the makeovers a Kentucky couple won

PATTERN Check Out Plaid Prints

By Living Small: City & Small Space Consulting

Classic and comforting, plaid can go traditional, modern or any direction in between. Here, 12 inspiring ways to work it into your home

HOUZZ TOURS My Houzz: Check Out a 'Project Runway' Winner's Brooklyn Studio

By Rikki Snyder

Does success in clothing design translate to a fashionable apartment? See for yourself in Gretchen Jones' New York City rental

INSIDE HOUZZ Inside Houzz: Check Out Our ‘From Dream to Home’ TV Spots

Get a first look at Houzz’s new TV ads, which highlight the power of inspiration and endless possibilities

CONTEMPORARY HOMES My Houzz: Check Out the Curves on This Cliffside Home

By Kimberley Bryan

Circular forms star in a home on a Washington gorge, from the boulder pile downstairs to an exterior side with nary a straight line

Check Out That View

PRODUCT PICKS Guest Picks: Kids' Book Storage You've Got to Check Out

By Bicultural Mama

Keep little readers interested and books organized with 18 appealing ways to house all their favorite reads

REMODELING GUIDES How to Remodel Your Relationship While Remodeling Your Home

By Mitchell Parker

A new Houzz survey shows how couples cope with stress and make tough choices during building and decorating projects

REMODELING GUIDES Wisdom to Help Your Relationship Survive a Remodel

By Mitchell Parker

Spend less time patching up partnerships and more time spackling and sanding with this insight from a Houzz remodeling survey

Sponsored

17 Reviews

The Leading Interior Design Studio in Franklin County