Instead of intubating my mother on Thursday, we asked the doctors to give her something to at a least help her calm down...they administered a morphine drip...she passed away on Friday morning at 11:30 am. (throughout my mother's numerous hospitalizations, I called the hospital nurses' station to ask about her progress because I was normally caring for her at home; my body clock automatically had me up at specific hours throughtout the night because i would be checking on my mom's oxygen levels, or making sure that she ate to prevent nausea.

Wondering...your Mom most likely feels close to her son...they share a home now...why should she want to see him homeless upon her death? If she buys his cigs and booze..he must be doing enough household duties to get those things..she may buy them whether he did or did not do anything for her....have you ever gone there to help out? Run errands, take her to dr....all those things that adult kids do for parents?? Maybe...your brother feels obligated to live there....be her housemate because he does not see anyone else stepping up to do the maintenance that she may need to run a house...I have seen this arrangement for years with men who live with parents... They give up certain life events such as dating, marrying and sometimes holding a good job because demands at home do not allow it...when my father was ill...I could not work....I had my own home but had to stay at home just to be able to care for my fathers transportation needs to drs ofc. My mother would not do it.... It sometimes appears as if the brother has a great time, but have you actually thought of the things he may have to deal with...maybe that is why the booze...is your concern having the will favor you some? I think your mom might see you as someone who she cannot depend on...I have a mother who made it public knowledge that she favored her boys over her daughters....she even said it as I was carting her a** around town running errands...while my oldest bro...her favorite did not lift a finger for her...ever..that I saw.... My middle bro owns the house...mother is not that crazy about him...but she will leave anything she has to my younger bro....older bro has his own money too....I do not go to my mothers house because when I did my brothers wete verbally hateful....you never knew what they would say....my mother basically kicked me to the curb 14 years ago when I started working full time....if I could not do things for her...she had no reason to talk to me..as she had done to all five of daughters....when my older sister passed away...she did not want to really talk to me after all that time...nephew passed away several months prior and I sat next to her after 12 yrs and she got up and left room. When my sister passed away she started speaking to me only to get a ride to funeral home...after that..nothing...about 2 yrs later after a conversation with another sister about problems in my marriage...my mother calls about a month or so later.....only to hear the details...thinking I would tell her anything...when I did not give her what she wanted...she stopped calling...my mother was just vacant emotionally to her daughters...not much better with sons but she treated them better.... If you are smart...you will let your brother be with this issue....some women thrive on seeing their kids fight..mine did....I have nothing to say to my mother that would mean anything at this point...she raised her kids half a**ed...but we all turned out good.....the girls all have had marital problems...and dependence on husbands because we were forced to leave home by the time we were sixteen....I did not go to clg till I was an adult and had no op to have a real career... I say all this because some women are just born to make trouble for their kids...they will play one off on the other....thats likely what she is doing now...her way of saying..."see what i did"...

Hi Linda in good old Iowa, If you're thinking of scrap value, many say that silver is undervalued these days in relation to the price of gold, and there has been a fairly stable comparison between them, traditionally. Silver's value has been improving relative to its relation to gold in the past year or so and some feel that its price will rise faster than gold's, proportionately. With the huge debt that the U.S. has, and some analysts say that when a country's debt gets up near the value of it's annual value of goods produced, that there becomes a possibility that it may be difficult for it to recover - and the U.S. level is close to that now. Furthermore they're printing money by the boatload ... which will reduce the value of a dollar. I heard some reference a while ago to the Weimarization of our economy, a reference to the German economy after World War I - remember the stories of having to take a wheelbarrow load of currency to the store to buy a not-very-large item? Having a thing that carries value may become more important than having pieces of paper called currency, before long. I think that the days of the U.S. Dollar being the world's reserve currency are numbered. Sorry to rain on your parade. ole joyful

Taking care of an elderly parent is extremely stressful. Add a parent who is losing her mind abilities. Now add in too a parent that abandoned her now caretaker while caretaker needed the parent most in life (caretakers younger years). Your mother is going to need a huge dose of understanding given her situation. She's frustrated, exhausted (both physically and mentally I'd bank), dealing with a woman who turned a back now very much in need of the very people the back was turned on. It has to be taking an enormous strain. I admire your mother for doing what she feels needs to be done, but I think she needs help and a break. Is your mother willing to do either? Home assistance caring for elderly is sometimes available through county/state health departments. Sometimes (depending on needs) it is just a trained person who comes in several times a week, other times it can be more involved. Usually things like just 'babysitting' the client and doing some hands on bathing/dressing ect. All times that give your mother a chance to 'let someone else do it' and also give mother some much needed 'me' time. Perhaps Mom is feeling life is going by without her...yet when you do all get together she's crossed between being too darn tired and/or angry she feels obligated to carry on her usual life with everything else she's trying to deal/cope with. Mom really does need some 'me' time, some date nights (just Dad and her)and maybe just a shoulder to dump on now and then. Caretaking can actually take down the caretaker. Perhaps an adult daycare center a few days/afternoons a week would give Mom another option if home assistance is not available. If Gma is not so much in need of 'babysat' maybe it is just a sense of your mother feels like she is losing control of her life. Things she did do and always enjoyed may just feel like a whole lot of extra work and stress. You do need to consult her before making plans as does Dad. I doubt it is something like she does not want to see you and/or spend time, it may just be a lot more additional pressure. Perhaps you and your husband or you and the kids could offer to take Gma dinner a night a week. Mom and Dad could go for dinner alone and a quiet drive or a movie. Just something simple they need to do as a couple. Yeah, it's different than usual, but it may help release stress/pressure for Mom. It also sounds like Dad and Mom need the 'couple' time. You don't have to pull back from your stepfather (who you consider your father). He's 'Dad'. Always has been. Always will be. Even if something happened between Mom and Dad, it's unrealistic to think you'd just break ties with Dad. You love them both. Your children love them both. Perhaps right now you and Dad just need to work at letting Mom tkae a bit of control over her daily life. There is nothing 'wrong' in being a very close family. I'm in a very close knit family myself. I also knew though when my Mom needed to have time along, assistance with her hard routines (she caregave for her SO the last few years of his life). I just knew when she needed to have lunch and escape or when she needed to have me 'babysit' so she could rest and recharge. IDK, maybe I'm way off, but it might be worth a a shot. Your mom loves you, you know that, but she is going through one of the hardest things in her life (caring for her mother who was never much of a mother). Your Mom's feelings have got to be being torn in half a dozen different directions right now. One of them may be simply fear that she herself will lose her mind and be old and in need of care one day.