Ladies, thank you so much for responding and sharing all your great ideas. To update, the party was held on the 20th, and it was a well attended, casual affair. (roughly 65 people, nicely spaced out over 4 hours) I used regular blank invitations, and wrote that my sister and myself were hosting a party for their (70th!) and (75th!) birthdays on such and such date, time and place, as well as letting them know it was "come and go". I gave people my email address and my sister's phone number to contact if they needed specific directions. Then I enclosed a second note that said "We hope to see you there, but if you are unable to attend we know R--- and S--- would enjoy hearing from you with a card or note." (pretty much what Texas Red Head suggested.) Keeping in mind lindac's suggestion that "no gifts" implies you expected one in the first place, I didn't write "no gifts", but that also worked out well, as almost everyone brought a card instead. Actually, the only people who brought gifts were a few of my mother's oldest friends (her traveling buddies) who arrived in a group toward the end of the day. In fact, by the time Mom opened her gifts they were the only other people there besides family, so it worked out fine. I also took to heart what sherrman wrote and made surethey waited to open cards until after we'd cleaned up and were having coffee. Considering they had roughly 60+ cards to open, that was a geat idea. We'd made a video/DVD thing of old family pictures of both of them, and had contacted relatives some time ago looking for pictures. They've been married for the last ten years, and there were pictures of each other that neither had seen, so it was a great surprise. FWIW, we mixed them all up, his and hers, and nothing was in chronological order; we didn't want it to come across as one of those "This was your life" slide shows that are so popular at funerals. The little DVD was about 12 to 15 minutes long on a continuous loop, and yes, people stood around watching, and laughing and saying "I remember that!" it was terrific ice breaker. As guests were leaving, I had them stop briefly out front so T could take a quick picture. Everyone received a print of themselves looking relaxed and happy, and Mom and her husband got pictures of all their guests without annoying anyone during the party by having them stop and pose. It was just a very nice party, and again, I can't thank you all enough for your insight and advice. You're (all) the best. Melody

I can't believe he's almost 3 too...the time goes by so fast. It's strange to think that in less than the amount of time as he is old (did that just make sense?? lol), he'll be starting kindergarten. Yikes! He is soooo funny. The things that come out of his mouth crack me up. He has conversations with himself all the time, it's quite entertaining to listen to.

In response to MountainBreeze.... I agree that its sort of "non-traditional" to ask people to come to a destination wedding that you have no intension of reciprocating their efforts by paying for a meal or cake and punch. BUT I also think that if the guest list is small enough for the people traveling to the wedding you don't even NEED to send invitations. Email, call, have your Mom or someone call... It's always easier to talk to someone about a sticky situation informally than trying to figure out some eloquent way to tell them something they might not want to hear. (you know it comes off impersonal and therefore impolite) Then with the people invited to your reception at home, just make it like a regular invitation...as formal or informal as you want. I mean the economy issues go both ways, but if you go to a family member or a friend personally and say... We can't afford this but love you and wish you could attend; please do if you can afford it as well then you don't even need to worry about half the stuff that I'm sure is on your mind. I have a similar problem have been searching around the web....maybe someone brilliant can help me!! I am getting married in my home town...which I don't live in and neither does my man. We are having a small family wedding with a formal sit down dinner to follow in my home town in Indiana. THEN.... we (my fianc� and I) are coming back "home" to Tennessee to have a follow-up less formal reception celebration with our friends and some of my extended family who also live in TN. Majority of the people who are invited to the wedding are not coming to the Reception in Tennessee. (Why would they it's far away and they already saw us get married?) BUT there are about 50 extended family members (that all live in TN) that I want to invite to the wedding with the anticipation that they will choose to come to the Reception in TN instead of driving to IN. So I was thinking of sending the following: Indiana wedding people get invitations to the wedding with RSVP Cards ( That will Read: Please Reply by X: Accept ____ Decline_____ if accepting: Chicken_______ or Steak________; Tennessee Reception ONLY people get there own seperate invitations to the Reception saying (we were married on XYZ, please join us for a Reception celebrating our marriage at blah blah; Then! Here in lies the problem--what do I do about those 50 family members who I want to invite to the wedding and also give them the choice of coming to the Tennessee Reception? I was thinking of sending them a seperate Reception card (included when I send the wedding invites) that say in a nut shell "in lieu of wedding you can instead attend the Tennessee Reception") Now... how do I word that without sounding like an idiot (see above!) or does anyone of this world wide web have a better idea!!!!! I'm getting married in April of 2011 I've have run out of Freaking Time to be clueless!! Thank you to anyone who responds. StephC.

Just please, please be sure that the invitation is CLEAR. I have gotten invitations that were so "creatively" worded that I couldn't figure out to what I was being invited. Make sure your guests know you are inviting them to see you get married, not just to watch the surf meet the sand or "begin your new life together" or "celebrate your love" or something like that -- without having to read the invitation 3 times. YOU know it's a wedding, but a reader might wonder if it's just a reception or engagement party or something. You could have it both ways, actually. Have whatever you want about surf and sand at the top, perhaps in a larger and "beachier" font, and then follow with the details (xxxx surf meets the sand xxxx/ [space] / Please join us as we are married / date / time / place / Jane Doe and John Roe Congratulations!