Mentally, I'm recovered. LOL. This was really devastating to me, because I'd never had such a bad year, but I think I was just overdue. The good news is that I've totally immersed myself in organic ways and have been taking crash courses. I've learned SO MUCH. (Much of it here from everyone...you all are great!) Add me to the 100 percent organic converts now. I never plan to use another synthetic chemical again. This weekend, I'm planning on building my very first compost pile! Yes I am, and I'm so excited about it. I've used compost, but it was always purchased from the store (Lowes and Wal Mart). And I'm thinking about next year. This year is kind of an experience in learning, and I've learned a lot. I had a good crop of tomatoes (Celebrity, Caspian Pink - love those - and Better Boys), but it's about died out now. Usually, I have a regular crop of tomatoes through the first frost (which isn't until Halloween or so). But the tomatoes I got were good, and I didn't have a lot of splitting for the first time ever. I credit that to the HGTV/DIY shows that said add a handful of lime when planting. My eggplants did really well for awhile, and that was fun. I still think I'll get a few more, but everything seems to be winding down. This is very unusual, but I've been hearing it from others around the area. It's just not been a good year for anyone it seems. My gypsy peppers, bless their hearts, are indestructable. They just smiled through the invasion and kept on doing their thing. Lots of wonderful peppers. Those are so fun to grow...and so prolific. My herbs all did really well and are still going. (Except the coriander, but it always dies in the heat) But my fears on the cukes and honeydews came true and they're near death. I got a good crop of cukes before the cucumber beetles invaded. (And I ended up with both striped AND spotted beetles, with a few squash bugs for extra fun) I'm sure it's wilt from the beetles. My melons were all deformed and I think had scab on them. Poor things. LOL. But I'm just letting them keep growing, just in case. I finally cut the oldest melon open, and inside was a small, deformed melon. It wasn't sweet enough yet, but it was a nice color and tasted fresh and springy anyway. I got about three nice bites. haha. I've not grown a successful melon yet, but I'll keep trying every year. Now I'm about ready to head to my local extension office, get my soil tested and see if they can help me decide what to do with my garden over winter. I'm trying to decide between black plastic (which will supposedly kill pathogens by cooking them, but I'm not sure about bug eggs), and a cover crop such as hairy vetch. I'm leaning towards hairy vetch if I do a cover crop. But I'll ask the ext. agent for his/her thoughts on our area. I don't know if the lacewings ever did their work or not. I had fun sprinkling the little hatchlings, like fairy dust. My neighbors might have had a few laughs watching me, because I did prance and sprinkle. (I thought lacewings were the size of moths in adulthood, but now I read they're tiny little things) Next year, I'm probably going to introduce beneficials early, some nematodes and ladybugs. I had a lot of different bugs this year, but my big problems were the leafhoppers (they're still hopping and sucking) and the cucumber beetles. The other good news, and the reason I went organic this year...the birdies! I haven't had tons of butterflies yet, but man do I have many hummingbirds. I finally bought a little feeder that hangs outside my front window, and they come one after another. I've got at least 6-8 that I've seen in a bunch (a gaggle?). And one in particular likes to dance with me, and with my cats, through the window. It's just amazing. I also have a family of cardinals that I've been feeding safflower seeds, and it's been so fun watching their behavior (dad feeding the wife and kids...looks like they're kissing). And one son is starting to turn red...I call him my birdie boy. The others fly away when I approach, but he stays and lets me talk to him, and cocks his head like a pet bird. My family thinks I've lost my mind. LOL. But they're indulging my bird chatter and my new obsession with a compost pile. So that was the longggggggg answer (sorry). Short answer: garden mostly went to hell, but I've enjoyed the birds and intend to keep learning about organic ways. Thanks, Kitty, for asking. ***

I'm back. Melissa, I hadn't considered soapstone. Is it soft and would it be prone to chipping? Does it need to be sealed? If the answers are no, I'd certainly like to check it out. Oruboris, I googled that pattern and it is lovely. Like cubmaster mentioned, my tile store sells by the box so it might get pricey for this room. But in the not too distant future I hope to retile a very large sunroom and it would be awesome in there. I'm saving the pattern for sure. Diagonal is classic and in the running but cubmaster's idea of brick or running bond sounds interesting. How about any of these options... The tiles I like come in 20 and 13 inch squares and 20x13, 10x13, and 12x18 rectangles. I love the larger format tiles but is the room too small for 20 inch tile? On the short side it would be only 2.5 tiles wide. What do you think of a brick/running bond pattern with the rectangles? Would the 20x13 or 12x18 work or are they too large? I'd run them parallel to the short side. Opinions welcomed. Thanks, Alida

Hello all! A former lurker here...I've been away for awhile, but have returned today, and after reading the post and responses, want to offer a different perspective...maybe it's the part of the country I'm from, but I think that if I've felt comfortable enough to open my house and I've shared a meal with someone, if they invite me into their home, I would expect the same. I don't consider that expectation "boorish" at all, but simply good manners. That said, you have given yourself a good deal of time, and might use the opportunity to motivate yourself into action. I would bet that when your home meets your standards, you will feel proud to show it off. It does not matter what your company's taste or standards are, and it is not important that they even like your home. I do think it is important that the gesture is made, although some areas might not be on the "tour". I can speak with experience, as I too was overwhelmed, but in my case it went on for a number of YEARS. I was ashamed of the condition of my home, and did not invite people over. I certainly heard the old saw "people come over to visit you not your home" but I never bought into that, because that old saying does not take into account the comfort level of a host who is distressed when their own environment does not meet their own standards. I cannot comfortably entertain if I'm distressed. Some people have no problem inviting people over when their home is a mess; more power to them, but I am not one of them!! (I don't care if other people's homes are messy) I have finally gotten things under control (I plan to at some point post a thank-you as I felt inspired by the acheivements of others on this forum) and I not only am finally getting to enjoy my own home, I am finally able to even spontaneously invite people over - something I didn't think would EVER happen; what a great feeling! Just keep plugging away at it one day at a time! I wish you the best. (ps needing to control so much that someone else's magazines etc. get thrown out in 2 weeks read or not speaks to more serious issues that are not about housekeeping.) Respectfully, Penny

Alisande I sooo understand your situation being in a similar one myself. The dominos analogy is absolutely perfect! I never thought Id long for simple tasks like vaccuming, ironing and dusting either. LOL!! In my case its a new to us house we moved into in April. As we needed more cupboard space and new appliances there, the kitchen was (and still is) first on the agenda. Seemed no biggy just call a cabinet maker & get these cabs organized, add an island & move on to the next issue. The trades are soooo busy here that 8 months later our new appliances sit in the garage with their warranties diminishing, the kitchen is painted, and thats it! If wed wanted to rip the kitchen entirely, it probably would have been done by now but finding someone to do custom work is a huge chore and when you do find someone, its hurry up and wait once again. As wed begun with the primary focus of kitchen, it took quite some time to switch gears. However eventually we moved on to the living/dining and the majority of those rooms are done. However now both the TV & the DH snoozing on the new sofa are in the Living Room, which does not make my heart beat madly, because (Domino) the Family Room is full of boxes, yet unpacked, destined for other rooms, one of which is the kitchen. And on it goes . . . the carpet which will go from Master Bdrm to Guest Bdrm but first we have to . . . and like that. I know you know. Being totally overwhelmed, particularly with the Xmas season upon me - Where is the turkey roaster? Where is the Turkey Platter? Which box is the . . . I coped as best I could over Xmas but it sure wasnt the Xmas Id planned using this ancient stove the door doesnt close properly on rather than my new oven and like that! Now also looming is Spring and with that event, a garden badly in need of tending. Once gardening starts it will be even more difficult to balance "house" with "garden" time. So, being very desperate to get some balance back, what Ive done is use the Flylady Zone thing but in a different way. This week the Zone has been the front entrance/front hall/dining room. Our Xmas tree was in the Dining area so I took that down, and moved furniture back into place, dusted, polished, did some small "to do" items such as putting little protector pads on the table lamps so they dont scratch the table tops, and cleaning up the entrance/front hall. I have blinds coming for the Living/Dining at the end of Jan so Im filling and staining the Dining window frame (the Living frames will be done when its Living Zone time). Past that I cant do much as the dog kennel presently residing in the front hall but destined for either the garage or the family room cannot go either place for now as both are too full of stuff that belongs in other areas. Basically Ive looked at a Zone, listed what needs to be done in it over and above cleaning and will work on those items for the duration of the Zone time. Next Zone is Kitchen / Laundry and there are (non-cleaning) things I CAN do there so Ill make a little more progress though it certainly wont be complete. I dont know that it would work for you, or at this point, even for me. LOL! It does however, get me started somewhere, which for me was a problem. I was so overwhelmed with how much there was to do and how much is not getting anywhere near where I had expected it to be by now, I was in "throw up my hands" mode. So far, its also helped with the ADD Syndrome that seems to set in when you are surrounded by *masses of stuff*. I also want to convey comfort on your loss and, having a 90 year old father with Alzheimers, understand your feelings of it being, to some extent, a blessing. Regardless, no matter how expected, its a big life change so treat yourself gently. Warm regards + Hugs PS - I'd definitely get those beams done for you. That is a huge job that just the idea of doing it would have me putting it off forever!