Regina, yes I wrote it but it sure is a lot revised from the original, and will get revised again because it still needs work. For instance, in my mind, Kent gets squished--not just his wish. Hey, maybe that's what the title of it should be. lol. Bugs kind of frustrate me...not in a real big way but just enough to make my head wonder about some of them and if I were only smart then I wouldn't get stuck on really dumb issues such as....why do you eat up your food source bug; so, um, anyway, in my mind, that bug Kent was brilliant to grow his own. However, since bugs don't really do that (I mean, bugs meaning Aphids, or scale, etc.), the poem is more a cautionary...(the moral of the story) be careful for what is wished and/or maybe rather how it is wished. You could get squished. The Limerick by Hopeful In Brevard is ten thousand times better: Little bug chewing on my grass You certainly have a lot of class, Apon a weed you wouldn't feed You claim they give you gas. Straight to the point and a knee slapper! Lol! Bravo!

Here's one for the holidays. Hope it helps! Candy Gram The RIESEN for this greeting, is to wish you a CAREFREE holiday season. Don't go NUTS while you are fighting the MOUNDS of people all shopping at the last minute. Take some time to enjoy the SYMPHONY of voices from the carolers, or enjoy a SWEET ESCAPE on me. Don't worry about getting CHUNKY on all those holiday treats either. There will be GOOD and PLENTY time to worry about that after the holidays. Even though the road leading to Christmas may be a ROCKY ROAD.....just think of all the ALMOND JOY you will receive when your friends/family see how well they SKORed with all those gifts. Don't be a BUTTERFINGER unwrapping all of them. And get that BIG HUNK of yours to be a LIFESAVER and make you a cup of TEA. Sit back, relax and may your PEANUT BUTTER CUP overflow with SPECIAL TREASURES of holiday memories. ©Paulette, 1998, TLC Creations

Hi Deb, Here are some more of the easy and inexpensive gag type gifts, although they aren't really gag gifts, because they are usable. What I would do as far as the kids go, is go to your dollar or craft or even department store and get those cello treat bags with Christmas designs on them. Put the candy in that and staple the bag topper with the poem and graphic on that. If you don't want to use staples, just tie the bag with ribbon, and punch a hole in the corner of the bag topper and have the ribbon loop through it. With adults, I then put the bag into a mug or other desirable container they may need or like. With a man, you could even put it into a thermos. With kids, you can leave just in the bag, or use one of those .59 cent plastic Christmas cups at drug stores and such. Enjoy! Candy Cane poem A significant symbol of Christmas Is the Simple Candy Cane. It's shape is the crook of the Shepherd One of the first who came. The lively peppermint flavor is The regal gift of spice. The White is Jesus' purity. The Red is sacrifice. The narrow stripes are friendship. And the nearness of his love. Eternal, Sweet Compassion A gift from God above. The Candy Cane reminds us all of how much God cared. And like His Christmas gift to use It's meant to be broken and shared. **************************************************** CANDY CANE SEEDS (Use round, red and white peppermint candies) I once knew a gardner who knew how to grow Bright tasty candies, right out of the snow I asked him to share his secret with me And this is what he replied quite readily To garden in winter is difficult you see It takes lots of care and a very special seed I'll give you a couple to grow your own treats And you'll soon reap a harvest of candy cane treats. **************************************************** Grinch Candy Canes Poems Just buy the green colored candy canes and attach the following poem: #1 When the Grinch discovered There was no way, To Keep Christmas from coming On Christmas day, He devised a new plan... Though not quite as mean. He licked all the candy canes, Til he turned them all green. #2 Every Who Down in Who-ville Liked Christmas a lot... But the Grinch, Who lived just North of Who-ville, Did NOT! The Grinch hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season! Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason. But, Whatever the reason, His heart or his shoes, He stood there on Christmas Eve, hating the Whos, Then he got an idea! An awful idea! THE GRINCH GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA! "I know just what to do!" The Grinch laughed in his throat. And he chuckled, and clucked, "What a great Grinchy trick! IÂll lick all the candy canes, and turn them all green! **************************************************** Circus Mix 1 package (10.5 ounces) marshmallow circus peanuts 1 package (10 ounces) jelly beans 1 package (5.3 ounces) animal crackers Combine all ingredients in a large bowl. Store in an airtight container. Yield: about 8 cups mix * I put 1 cup of mix into a baggie. Then used a white lunch-size paper bag, attached a gift-label with a picture of Santa that said "North Pole Circus Mix" and decorated with ribbon. **************************************************** Elfin Droppings (Red & green M&M's would make great Elfin Poop) The elves were so sick they couldn't make toys And Santa had to fill all those stockings He gathered the only thing the elves could make - Here are your Elfin droppings. **************************************************** Mice Poop *Use chocolate covered raisins* On Christmas Eve as I was snug in my bed, Guess what some little "creatures" were doing instead? Little mice were making their stops And, of course, they left their teeny-tiny "plops". On Christmas Morn I did awake, Oh me, oh my, oh goodness sake! Those adorable rodents had left such sweet gifts, So I gathered and packaged them up in a "jiff" And ,now ,this Christmas I present to you This little bag of mice "doo-doo"! written by Deanne Burton **************************************************** Reindeer Poop In a small decorative container, or zip baggie, place small, round chocolate candies (Whoppers, Raisinettes, chocolate covered peanuts, etc.) You could also use Cocoa Puff cereal or unwrapped miniature Mounds, Almond Joy or Baby Ruth candy bars. Seal/cover container, and decorate as desired. Then attach one of the following poems: #1 I woke up with such a scare when I heard Santa call... "Now dash away, dash away, dash away all! I ran to the lawn and in the snowy white drifts, those nasty reindeer had left "little gifts". I got an old shovel and started to scoop neat little piles of "reindeer poop". But to throw them away, seemed such a waste, So I saved them, thinking ~ you might like a taste! As I finished my task, which took quite awhile, Old Santa passed by and he sheepishly smiled. And I heard him exclaim as he rose in the sky ~ "Well, they're not potty trained, but at least they can fly!" #2 For all the souls who hate the noise Of Christmas cheer and lights and toys For Mr. Scrooge, and Mrs. too, Here's a little gift for you... A lump of coal won't be enough To make up for the shine and fluff, So, here's a scoop of reindeer poop To offset all that Christmas Goop!!! #3 Christmas is coming and so are the deer, Listen closely and you will hear, And along with them comes a special treat, Reindeer droppings for you to eat!! #4 We were awakened when we heard Santa call, "Dash away, dash away, dash away all!" But soon we discovered, out on our lawn, Santa and his reindeer were all gone. With our little shovel we started to scoop, All of the droppings..."YUCK," reindeer poop! But then we so generously filled up your sack, Hope you have a Merry Christmas and enjoy your snack! #5 Santa came and went last night, traveling on his worldwide loop. Because you weren't so good this year, you get just snowman poop. Round and white so sweet and light, eat some and have good dreams tonight. **************************************************** Santa Kisses #1 Santa's been busy Granting our wishes So he dropped off this bag of Santa Kisses #2 A bag of Hugs & Kisses to wish you Merry Christmas **************************************************** SNOWMAN KISSES (mini-marshmallows or other white candy) Snowflakes from Heaven as white as can be! Can build a Snowman for all to see! He's cute and cuddly and full of good wishes! And wants to give you a bunch of his kisses! **************************************************** Snowman Poop In a small decorative container, or zip baggie, place miniature white marshmallows, white mints, white chocolate covered raisins or peanuts, or other white candies. Seal/cover container, and decorate as desired. Then attach one of the following poems: #1 Heard you've been naughty so here's the scoop all you get for Christmas is snowman poop #2 Santa's been makin' his list And checkin' it twice He knows that you've been naughty Not nice. . . . . Since coal is so expensive Here's the scoop Santa has left you Snowman Poop! OR Santa checked his list not once, but twice. He found you've been naughty not nice. Since coal is so expensive, Here's the scoop. He's filled your stocking with Snowman poop!!! #3 I heard you've been naughty, So listen: here's the scoop. I'm running short on coal this year, So you get snowman poop. Love, Santa #4 In the cold of winter when snow arrives, All the snowman dance and feel alive. If you follow in their tracks, You will find little droppings from their cracks. Round and white So sweet and light Eat one eat two And have sweet dreams tonight! #5 Santa came and went last night Traveling on his worldwide loop Because you weren't so good this year You get no coal just snowman poop Round and white so sweet and light Eat some and have good dreams tonight **************************************************** Spare Reindeer Nose's (Red Hots or Red M&Ms, hard candy, etc.) #1 Rudolph has a job to do Every Christmas Eve, it's true. His nose will always light the way For Santa and his tiny sleigh, But if his nose should ever go out Don't cry or whine or yell or pout. Take out this bag and use a bit. From Rudolph's Red Nose repair kit. #2 Rudolph's nose is very bright He helps guide Santa's sleigh Without it in the dark night sky They might not find their way. So just in case dear Rudy's nose Is kaput and goes on the blink We have these spare "red nose seeds" To repair him in a wink!

Tralynn, Go to this craft site and post your request there. http://www.voy.com/100606/ There are a ton of very talented poets over there who just amaze me with their wit and way with words. I am sure one of them will respond to your post. Some of the gals on that board also come here. Carmen