I imagine it must be difficult to want to help your child every step of the way, to make their lives easier, perhaps, than your's was at their age. I don't have kids so I've avoided that minefield. But boy do I ever hear from my friends and their kids, lol. I think about how my parents were with my brother and me (both are now dead). They were pretty much "all about" getting us to a stage where we knew right from wrong, listened to our consciences/inner voices, knew how to discern between "need" and "want", and were able to figure how and when to indulge "want" with minimal worry about how to fund it. Teaching us to be honest, resourceful, and hard-working was their goal. "Lazy" and "entitled" were probably the two worst things they could ever have called us; and the same could be said of the helpmeet and his brothers. I hate to come down too hard on young people in general, because I know many fine, hard-working, industrious kids. But I do think there are a lot more very pampered, spoiled kids now and I have to say I hold their parents responsible (parents who are my age!). I think it takes a lot of guts to post the sort of question you did, Wigardener., would that more parents did! You're right on this one; accountability and responsibility build character, even though the adjustments can be bruising (for both of you). You're right on this! don't let the "guilties" eat away at your resolve. Remember, much as you may want to, you are not in a position to foot the college bill. One day your son will reflect on this time in his life (the way I have in the past few years) and he will arrive at new appreciation for all you've given him.

Have discussions with him. Share about how you want him to take this opportunity to learn more about managing his own business. However, having said that - it's HIS life. It sounds to me like he's doing well working, being responsible, and he did well in school. In some countries, kids are encouraged to take a year off after high school to travel and see the world before they decide what they want to do with the rest of their life. Many, many kids go to college and waist money partying and not taking the opportunity seriously. I went for one year, quit for a year (over a boy - don't ask), then went back and got my degree. My brother didn't go to college after high school. He went to work, got married, had a couple kids, THEN went to college and became an electrician. He makes good money and takes good care of his family. University studies aren't for everyone. Actually you are forced to take many hours of general ed. classes that often don't even interest you. Believe me. It is hard to study for something that you don't even care about. The important thing is that he gets some kind of education or skill development after high school so that he is marketable and can find good employment and advance in his career. He can take classes later if needed or desired. Just keep the lines of communication open.

Well the room is morphing into something else. Son likes this cheap "O" jazz mirrored mural, its sorta cool and cheesy at the same time. The furniture was looking a little too mature so I think the mural adds some 20yr old youth and it ties in the black and light gray carpet to the room. It will be spaced and placed behind the sofa and take up a big area. He has a long narrow room that's now limited on space due to the big a$$ chair, difficult having any symmetry so thinking of two matching small bench/stool/ottoman type seating across from chair. I did a layout to scale and sm bench/stools are the only way to get extra seating without blocking the TV viewing. Of course I am now hung up on seating again. I found a sight online called m!dnight velvet; don't know anything about them except they have some low cost slightly unusual stuff. Son doesn't have much room for more side tables (see large coffee table in above post) so we are thinking of the sm head or the tufted ceramic stool/tables below to use as a table and possibly doubling as extra seating (but not sure). The rooms accent colors will need to change as well but we are waiting for the mirror mural for inspiration. Right now we are thinking a purple/blue accent but that could change. Also think we need texture but not sure how to add that unless it's just in some pillows or I come up with another idea for stools/tables/bench. We also decided against black curtains in the living area, might be too much black with the black carpet and black in mirror mural so we bought these pale gold ones from sm@rtbargins. The window is across the room from the big a$$ chair so I was thinking it would look better to have a similar color on the window to balance it out a bit. I'm trying to buy all the furniture from craigslist to stay in my $1,200 budget (not including accessories) but still need a 48" round used dining set. I'm so sick sick sick of looking on CL but have too to keep the cost down. If I see one more ad that says "designer" I'm going to flip a lid! Of course it's designer, someone designed it!!! And don't get me started on "custom" ads. P.S, I'm sorry about these pictures but I'm having trouble with my cable or photobucket and also my overloaded brain so please forgive as I will figure it out later. P.S.S, thank you my friend for helping me look for canvas art, I feel really bad I didn't post the cheesy mural earlier ( but I REALLY thank you all for help and kind words!!! http://i1004.photobucket.com/albums/af170/jterrilynn/e88f54b5.jpg" target="_blank">http://i1004.photobucket.com/albums/af170/jterrilynn/4d8bbec8-1.jpg" target="_blank">http://i1004.photobucket.com/albums/af170/jterrilynn/b7267bed-1.jpg" target="_blank">http://i1004.photobucket.com/albums/af170/jterrilynn/48ca1471.jpg" target="_blank">http://i1004.photobucket.com/albums/af170/jterrilynn/c9fd2ac2.jpg" target="_blank">http://i1004.photobucket.com/albums/af170/jterrilynn/c8a527cd.jpg" target="_blank">http://i1004.photobucket.com/albums/af170/jterrilynn/c420cee8.jpg" target="_blank">

He has told me a bunch of what they were doing, he is most always very truthful. They were at the boy who was driving house. His mom was there and she was the special ed teacher from Jr High and remembered my son/name, he has a older brother that has "rain man" memory on roads and giving directions. I know one of the girls. I guess when they were leaving Perkins (restaurant)they were being goofy and were dancing around in the parking lot. Someone thought they were drunk and called police and they were pulled over about 1 minute after pulling out of parking lot. I guess that really scared them (good!)Police asked for all(5 kids) of their id's and he checked all of them. Checked car for any alcohol, questioned driver. I feel better, wasn't getting into trouble but he has lost use of the truck for a while. Had a good talk with him. Since this is new to him I really need to be more clear about my expectation, for kids like my son I can't assume, but do need to understand to an extent his confusion.... but he doesn't get off the hook no matter what. He was almost in tears when we told him we were disappointed about this situation.