I have a 20 year old and a 17 year old. One strategy I've used for a lot of their lives is to make it easier or more appealing for them to do what I want them to do, and make it more difficult and less appealing for them to do the things I don't like. So I think what I'd do if this was my son would be to first charge him rent. I wouldn't tell him that I was saving it for him, but I'd save it for him to help him get into an apartment later. The second thing I'd do would be to have chores for him to do, lots of chores. As an adult part of the household now, it would be fair to expect him to pull his weight doing yard work, cooking, etc. Have him clean out the attic or garage, install a sprinkler system in your yard, or something like that. The third thing I'd do would be to stop giving him money (if you're doing that). Stop paying for car repairs, any personal expenses he can't afford, etc. I would want my son to see what life is really going to be like if he has to support himself forever in a low-paying, dead-end job. I'd couple those things together with perhaps some career counseling. I'd try to expose my son to various careers he might enjoy. For my kids it was and is very difficult to decide what they want to do with their lives - they are most familiar with careers like that of their parents, or careers like teaching, nursing, fire-fighting, etc. There are so many other careers my kids had no idea existed. Because you live in a small town, you may not have the options my kids had. But my son was able to intern with a local judge, my daughter is volunteering in a utilities department, etc. Is there any way your son can do some volunteer work or unpaid work in an area of interest, to get a feel for a possible career choice? Can he work part time unpaid as an apprentice at a trade that interests him? At least that way he could learn skills that would help him as an adult, even if they don't lead to a career path. Can he help do a Habitat for Humanities project or join a church mission trip that repairs houses, etc., and learn some skills? If you think his problem is lack of confidence, then perhaps you can help him get involved in something that boosts his confidence and helps him feel self-reliant. Maybe camping, or rock climbing, or some type of volunteer work for a very worthwhile cause. I would also look into AmeriCorps. I know a young man who didn't know what he wanted to do with his life and went into AmeriCorps after high school. He did a stint with AmeriCorps and then went into college, and that experience was very good for him. As a 19-year-old my son worked construction one very hot, humid summer down in a valley that trapped the heat. He spent a significant part of the time shoveling broken concrete. It changed his attitude about doing boring work in an air-conditioned office or classroom. He told me at the end of that summer that if ever he needed motivation to finish his engineering degree, he'd just remember that shovel and that was all the incentive he needed to never, ever have to do that kind of labor in the hot sun again. I hope it also gave him an appreciation and respect for the laborers all around the world who work so hard in unpleasant conditions to build our schools, roads, water treatment plants, etc. The military is an excellent career for some young men who don't have any direction in their lives. That may be an option for your son, too. I wouldn't let my son sleep late, lay around playing video games, and spend his money on movies and video games, etc. The young men I know who do that wind up disheartened, discouraged, with very little confidence. They don't have the motivation to get up and make something of their lives, but they aren't happy, either. Good luck with your son! This is a hard age for many kids - it's hard for some young men to focus on college when they don't have a clue what they want to do and can't see the usefulness of their education. It is discouraging for them, and some of them do need their parents to help them get a long term perspective on the importance of an education or learning a trade.

I live in St. Louis, and I take issue with the ranking. Looking at the legal boundaries of the CITY of St. Louis, yes, parts of it are really bad. But anyone who lives in St. Louis includes the COUNTY of St. Louis as "St. Louis", which the report does not. IMO, this really skews the results and paints an undeserved portrait of St. Louis. Morgan Quitno Press publishes the rankings. The president of the company, Scott Morgan, said: ".... he is not surprised to see St. Louis top the list, since it has been among the 10 most dangerous cities for years. Morgan said the study looks at crime only within St. Louis city limits, with a population of about 330,000. It doesn't take into account the suburbs in St. Louis County, which has roughly 980,000 residents. " Here is a See where it says "St. Louis City", and the little line pointing to the small light blue area? THAT is what is ranked. See the large darker blue area around it, that says "St. Louis"? That is the "county", which is not included as part of St. Louis, even though it is very much "St. Louis". Re: drcindy's comments: The area immediately around SLU is much better than it used to be, and I don't hear of a lot of problems. University City and the Central West End are still quite hip. Clayton (which is part of the County, but immediately adjacent to the legal city limit), is fabulous.....and expensive. I would rent for a year first, so she could learn the area and make the best choice for a good place to live. If I were going to SLU, I'd look at the areas of Soulard, Tower Grove, South Grand, and Lafayette Square. These are all on the good end of transition, with a diverse population and great shops and restaurants. Personally, I would not live North of SLU (not referring to SLU Med), or in North County in general. North County seems to dominate the news regarding crime. Also note that MODOT (Missouri Dept. of Transportation) is starting a MAJOR re-do of Interstate 40/64 this year. This is one of our major arteries, and will make traffic miserable if you live/work in certain areas. Here is a link to the plans The area of construction is West of the areas I mentioned, so I don't think your daughter would live there, but you never know what might seem like a great area to her :) Investment wise, ie, not taking a beating when reselling, there are a number of areas in the city that are going through a resurgence. Some for many years, others just beginning. Businesses and individuals pouring money and heart into down and out neighborhoods. A sizeable influx of new immigrants has pushed these neighborhoods in a positive direction. It's amazing what some of these areas have become, and because of location, demographics and amenities, I do not see a down side. I haven't been able to say that about a lot of areas around here. Some were quickly, (and poorly), "developed" by absentee owners who had no stake in St. Louis other than a quick profit. It seems that most of the people working on the turnaround neighborhoods live there or very nearby. I still recommend renting first!

He requested meatloaf, mashed potatoes & roasted zucchini, so that is what I am cooking. I just hope he gets home for dinner. I already have the ground beef in the fridge thawing out..Tomorrow morning I will peel the potatoes a & leave them in water. I will chop off the tough ends of the asparagus. As soon as the meat is thawed out I will mix up the meatloaf.

If you want to have an office job and you have the ability to complete a 4 year degree then I agree that just having the piece of paper is helpful (although I think that if you have a degree from X University it matters not if you spent your first 2 years at Y Community College and then transferred to X for the last 2 years). But, in my opinion, the vast majority of people are not suited by interest or ability to obtain a 4 year degree and the expectation that everyone obtain such a degree ends up with 4 year schools becoming schools with very low standards for the degree. Colleges are full of people who should not be there in the first place and they colleges have to lower their standards in courses so that people don't flunk out. So you end up having people spending 4 years at college for a degree that is enormously expensive but really hasn't provided much of an education. Part of the reason you end up with all these people in college is that schools and, well, everyone is on the mantra that everyone must go to college and failing to obtain a college degree means you are a failure. This is not good for anyone -- except the financial health of colleges. There are plenty of things that people can do that actually earn a living that don't really require a college degree and is not unskilled labor. I was recently looking at some of the Associates Degrees in Applied Science from a variety of community colleges. There were many types of training: Auto repair, Dental Assistant, Veterinary Assistant, Culinary Arts, Restaurant management, Construction, Pharmacy technician, and so on. Many people in these fields do earn a living just fine and bear in mind that many kids would be better off choosing such a field even in capable of attending 4 year college if they are just not academically inclined.