Education is only part of the experience of high school. I have great high school memories because I had a great group of friends. My sister had a very unhappy high school experience because she didn't fit in. Same school, 1 year apart. This may already have been voiced above, but a few additional things to consider, which I have seen happen to other people, are the lifestyle issues and the donation issues. Specifically, will your child feel left out if they cannot afford to do the things their classmates do? I can remember being the only one of my friends in (public) high school who didn't get to go to Europe senior year (in my case it was my mother worrying rather than money, either way, I was left out). I've seen the activities and things friends' kids want. Will your child feel left out if they can't go skiing in the Alps over Christmas break? Will there be an issue if he has a beater car rather than a BMW? Another issue which I was a little surprised by was the "donation" issue. A good friend of mine has her only child in a $30k per year high school. They can easily afford it. However, the school also expects a sizable donation every year, and it keeps going up (he is in his third year). Think thousands - extra. They also do expensive things to raise money for the school, like auctions. Regarding treating kids "the same". It is very difficult. My parents didn't pay (or even help pay) for my law school because my mother didn't think they should do something for me that they were not going to do for my sister. But they weren't going to do the same for her because she wasn't going to go - she dropped out of college. I didn't argue with them about it at the time. In fact, it wasn't until after I graduated that my father even knew they didn't help. He assumed they had. My mother handled the money. So now all the money they saved my father is spending on his chi-chi girlfriend (my mother passed away). I have to admit, it irks me now. But it wouldn't have bothered me if my parents had used the money together. My in laws took the "equal" thing to a ridiculous extreme. DH was the "perfect" child. He was the oldest, and was a great student, athlete, and was very handsome (voted "best body" in high school, which we have a good giggle over). His parents wouldn't even give him praise unless they could give the same praise to his 2 younger (and less stellar) siblings. One story he mentions is when he came home with all As in all AP classes. His mother said something like, "well, Sally and Billy tried very hard to". My MIL was an early example of the dangers of praising trying as much as succeeding. His siblings learned they would get as much credit for failing as DH would get for succeeding. No one lived up to their potential as a result. I guess my point is this, you can't treat kids equally, and you can't be perfectly fair. Every kid is different.

One of the things that we would love to see changed, would be that ALL children take the SAME standardized tests. As a parent, it makes it very difficult to compare between a public and private school because the students do not take the same test. So you cannot compare whether the students in the private school are actually scoring higher, and getting a better education. IMO, there are some private schools handing out A's because they want the parents happy so that the tuition/donations they are counting on, keep coming in. The parents end up with more power than they should have, because they threaten to pull their kids out, and the school does not want to lose the tuition/donations, so in some cases they "cater" too much to these parents. Many of the public schools have their classroom sizes way down, so you may be surprised at the number of students in a class. Also, public or private, much depends on how good the teacher is. Both private schools and public schools have good and bad teachers. We panicked with our first born and put her in a very elite private school, foolishly worried about the influence of children from the guests on the Jerry Springer show.LOL We then started hearing so many great things about a certain public school, that we decided two years later to just try it for one year. We were so worried that if we gave up our "spot" at the private school, that we would not be able to get her back in. But we took the chance. We never regretted the change, and the public school has been every bit as good as the private school (with the exception of one teacher two years ago, but the rest have been truly excellent teachers). Granted that this is a public school with alot of parental involvement, in a better neighborhood. Our state grades the schools in how well they are doing, and this school was rated an A. If you have really good public schools in your area, take a look at them. Talk to other parents. What are they happy with? What would they change? But find out how their students/school as a whole scored on the standardized tests.

A friend of mine has a son with learning disabilities. He went to a special high school and once he graduated he went to a college that has special programs for kids like him. No uniform, though. I don't know the name, I just remember it is in Florida. But there were several schools they looked at. I would think a high school guidance counselor could help you, or even a local organization that helps parents advocate for their kids. Why does it need to have uniforms? If that is really important I think you will be greatly limiting your choices.

I also agree, a SM should not introduce herself as mom. However, my SD has introduced me as her mom to her friends' parents and I did not correct her. I did not correct her because I did not want to embarrass her or make her think that I had a problem if she wanted her friend to think of me as her mom. (I think JNM has said that her SD got upset because JNM would correct her and she wanted to know why JNM didn't want to be her mom. I didn't want my SD to feel like I am differentiating because I don't want to be called mom.. if that makes sense) I have also told SD that I'm flattered that she would call me mom but her mom's feelings may get hurt and I leave it up to her to decide what to call me. But, I agree... it's never okay for the step parent to misrepresent. I've always told the school, teachers, etc. that I am step mom because I have the same last name as SD, her mom never has. My point in my last post, was in general. If a mom has a problem with ANYTHING the step mom is doing or does, if she calls up and acts like an adult with the focus being on the child's best interests, not marking her territory or berating the step mom, then it's more likely going to get the result she wants... which is for the step mom to respect her wishes. I'm not saying that step mom will always agree or be as mature, but it doesn't resolve anything to get irate and demand things. I don't disagree that Sweeby's child's stepmom overstepped or as theotherside put it, vaulted way over the line in what she did. What I am saying is that if Sweeby had called her up and yelled at her ex or SM and demanded that "that woman is NOT my son's mother and how dare she say that and it better never happen again!!!!" might have been met with, "and what are you going to do about it?" and the fight is on. That is not what's best for the children. I think Sweeby handled it excellent and ALL parents should take notes.