Right on and if somebody thinks I should act my age, "I" go and fly a kite!

Thank you to all my GW friends!! You are all the BEST!!! It is good to be back with all of you and have missed you and the postings alot! Still trying to catch up a bit but you all have been so chatty!!! hehehe! Mike--I remember your move! It was right after my first move. Try doing this TWICE within a year, getting unpacked doing the landscaping and settled in to just start doing it again!!! I REFUSE TO MOVE AGAIN!!!! I do have more living space now but much of it has been converted to inside plant storage for winter. In the spring I may get that space back! LOL! Karma--I will be watching to see how you do with your latest project! And wishing you the best Karyn--if you get to FL and come by to see me you can have me all to yourself and I will send you back with plenty of tropical plants!!! LOL! Might just go to Miami with you and you can drop me off on the way back!!!! Today I got outside when it reached 50 and raked the yard, put down more winter rye and worked on restoring my second handmade rocking horse. plus various other outside stuff. When the temps dropped I came in and baked cookies, brownies etc. Gonna satisfy my sweet tooth tonite!! It is gong down to 25 tonite so I wont be out in the yard early tomorrow. Will do more unpacking and organizing and cook a roast! Stay warm and stay safe!! Linda

Hi Cinful...I know exactly what you mean...when the doctors told her 3-6 months left, I thought I would never stop crying, and I didn't want our last moments together to be miserable. I know we said everything we wanted and needed to say to each other, but in the end, I still worry that there may have been something else left unsaid, something I forgot to ask her, or something from the past that we just wanted to remember. We only got about 2 months together at the end, and even when it finally happened it seemed like it just couldn't be happening already. I am sorry that you are alone, I do have children and a husband, but we all lived together, and they really do not understand what I am going through. I feel like I am alone, except that I can't just break down all the time, I have to be strong...it feels like it is killing me to do that though. I really just want to crawl into bed and stay there. The one thing that keeps me going is that my mom asked me to. She told me to be strong for HER, and to be happy for HER. I am not happy, but I am being as strong as I can be. That means not thinking of her too often, or all I would do is cry. But I know she knows that. She bought me a journal at the end, and I didn't think it would help, but it has. I write to her as much as I can, everyday in the beginning, and I tell her the things I would have told her if she were here. It does help. My mom was my everything too...even though I have other family, and children, she was it. Every moment of the day we were together...have been for 42 years. She has sent me signs since she's been gone, I know a lot of people don't believe in that, and think it is wishful thinking, but it's not. Keep an open mind after everything is over, don't shut yourself down. Stay with your mom till the end, try not to feel guilty...I know that even though my mom and I talked about everything, I still felt guilty when she passed, like maybe there was more I could have done. I am trying to get past that. I feel so bad for you, and your dad...maybe try to be strong for him, as I have to for my baby...it helps to be there for someone else, when all you want to do is go with your mom. I know at least for me that is true. When she first got sick, I thought I would go with her in the end, but I cannot go right now. My family needs me, my baby needs me. I think that is why he happened so late in my life...he was my lifeline from God...Take care, please let me know how you are doing, and I will do the same.

Marilyn...I've been a member here for a long, long time and although I don't post often, I never missed one of your posts before you left. I'm so glad you're back...for what now are selfish reasons that I thought you'd like to read. At the moment, I going through a very rough time with my furry soul mate...a 15 year old Himalayan named Tasha. We've been to the vet and I'm sitting here waiting for test results. In the mean time, she's a very sick kitty and will only take home made food from my finger tips. I fear she has failing kidneys...but only the tests will tell...and I'm trying desperately to patiently awake those test results. In the mean time...reading [and identifying with] your animal tales is giving me a kind of temporary solace that I'm so appreciative of right now. Thank you for being you and for sharing yourself here. Your generosity is making such a difference in my life right now. Anne