Hear, hear Lezro! I have used IrfanView (free download) for several years. In fact I prefer it. I learned the basics in an afternoon. I have Photoshop Elements and occassionaly use it to do some cloning, which IrfanView doesn't provide. It's an excellent program but the learning curve is fairly steep and it is slower. IrfanView bypasses Windows registry which is part of the reason it is so speedy, even with images from a 5 megapixel camera. When you first open (or drag and drop) your image you will only see a small portion (unless you have changed the default view). I click on the magnifying glass with a minus sign to zoom out to see what to crop. Sometimes what I am wanting is small enuf that resizing isn't necessary so little quality is lost (using 95 compression). I don't remember what the default compression setting (maybe 80). I choose my own depending on the image. If the cropped image is still too big for the screen click on Image in the menu and choose Resize/Resample, where you can instantly resize to make your image screen size. And of course you lose quality. That's where sharpening is useful. I have learned Not to fill my camera's LCD screen with the desired image. It loses far too much quality when down-sized and compressed. I am happy to help anyone with IrfanView. Drop me an email. We all need to learn good photo editing especially for common courtesy on the internet ~~ my soapbox issue.

It's one thing to make brownies, but gifts put the staff in an difficult position. Hospitals generally have strict rules that any staff are not to accept gifts or money from patients or families, and can get into serious trouble if they do. While you are certainly grateful for the wonderful care your mother got, the staff (who are all highly trained professionals) are doing what they are paid to do and shouldn't be tipped (which is what you gave them). A heartfelt thank you is more than enough. Bringing in baked goods is better, since all the staff can enjoy them.

Let me speak for the other side! If you have problems communicating with your daughter before a grandchild is born, you will continue to have them after! Just because you see your role in a cut and dried pattern, that doesn't mean your daughter or her husband see it the same way. You said: This is what her previously pregnant friends have done and it has worked out very well for them. I am having a lot of trouble with this, and it seems to be reinforcing some negative issues that are in our relationship: she can be extremely reactive to my feedback . . . So, being "reactive" is nothing new. Do you think at a time when she is experiencing this new role of being a mother herself, she needs the tension that "negative issues" and "reactive to my feedback" would bring? Your role should be to support your daughter and your grandchild as best you can. If this means sucking it up and being in a hotel, while a nurse tell her "how to" instead of being the one - - then do it! This is not the time for the two of you to hash out past issues, it is the time to forge a new respectful relationship. That new relationship must include allowing your daughter to make her own judgement calls regarding her child. Please remember advise is given, but it doesn't have to be taken! Now, I know that I have been a bit harsh. I too had a difficult relationship with my mother. She walked in to "help" with the baby (my first born) to my freshly scrubbed home saying "What can I clean?" I had been up all night getting the house ready, including scrubbing floor on my hands and knees to make it acceptable to her, and I tell you it was spotless. I had a good friend and neighbor come over to "check" and she told me I was going overboard, OCD type of overboard. Still, it wasn't "good enough" for my mom! I had taken care of children and babies since I was 10 years old, but to her I didn't do anything right: I stored the diapers in the wrong place, I bathed the baby in the wrong spot (in a baby tub on the kitchen table, with all my supplies instead of the kitchen sink - as she had done), I breast fed instead of bottle, I had the baby in a bassinet by my bed instead of isolated in the crib on a different floor (in Navy housing - floor plan was poorly laid out). By the second day of her visit I was so nervous, my milk stopped flowing! All I wanted from her was to coo and coddle the baby. Make a fuss over her, be a grandma. For me, well she was a great cook. Having a few home cooked meals prepared while I napped with the baby would have been a godsend. Instead, she wanted to shop, go out to see the sights of the city and invited company (brother, SIL and their two children to visit for 3 days - and nights) after all, she was in the area and not doing anything. Mom is gone now, it was rough but out of 12 grands, only 2 have fond memories of her! To spotlight the reason: my DD went for a visit, just a day after her 7th birthday. No mention of the birthday was made. In a room she would share with cousins who arrived 2 days later were gifts, beautifully wrapped and labeled -- for the cousins -- nothing for DD! Grandma said to me "I'm sure she got lots of nice things for her birthday, I sent her a card, I guess she didn't get it before you came down." DD was heart broken, Grandma had gone on and on about how she never celebrated a birthday with her, and we had made special arrangements to be there (on a very limited budget). On top of that, cousins went on and on about how they were going to a tea shop for a special tea with Grandma THE DAY AFTER WE WENT HOME, JUST THE THREE OF THEM, SPECIAL! So, I caution you to take a look at how you offer your feedback, how you treat your daughter and the new baby. We know that you feel that what you have said in the past is OK and her reaction is poor. But, truly look at it, is it critical? Do you expect your advise to be totally accepted and feel rejected if she modifies or chooses to not follow it, for whatever reason there may be? Foggyj used the term emotional game, but if there is a "game" being played, there has to be more than one player. I wish you luck with your new grand baby and daughter, but please take it easy on her, after all she is new at this role -- just as you were once. Susan

Someone can also try to change their voice or scripting style -- or even imposter as someone else -- or cut and paste stuff or post statements they've agreed with in the past. Sounded like they were just losing it, but you never know, if it's someone actually trying to hide their identity. People will naturally wonder who, and the message will always read as it does and remind us of certain people, but making *firm* assumptions, when little concrete info is actually available, is pretty fallible and unfair to others on our board, I think. The ip addresses, also, are just another piece of the puzzle and can be non-static or misleading (mine shows an external ip, from Wichita, oddly enough). We can't expect people to be brain-dead and stop thinking, but I hope we all try to keep in mind that the info we have from that thread is sketchy. A consistent ip address over time would be better. I think it's a shame, and surprising, how people always presume one of 'us' does these things. Of course, if it's a just plain nasty person, who cares, I guess, as they've earned it. But it could just as easily be a fly-by-nighter. Would seem likely that the things that go on with these message boards go on with other boards as well. Unless you were on the East Coast, AJ -- it was likely not you!