Thanks everyone for their insight. Our house finally closed yesterday. Of course you go through a lot of emotions, at least we did, (Couldn't wait for it to sell, then became sad at the thought of really leaving it...etc) but now that we've settled into a rental, we're happy to be done with the whole selling side of things. We also feel grateful to have had a sucessful sale in this market. Now that we are in the buyer's seat we still doubt WE would be able to make an intellegent decision based on one visit. Our needs/wants are a bit more unique than the average buyer though. If it were just my husband and I, I could see falling in love with something perfect for the two of us when I walked in the front door...in fact I did: We made an offer the other day on a home that I DID fall in love with on the first visit. I loved it when we pulled up and throughout the whole house. Had it not been an evening visit and we couldn't see most of the yard, I'm sure I would have talked my Husband into offering then and there. Come to find out, it was a short sale and in reality it was perfect for US, but not for our son. We convinced ourselves that we could make the modifications needed to make it work for everyone. Our Agent explained it could take months to hear back so we could offer and continue to look and pull the offer at anytime so we decided to go for it. We have since rescinded the offer when we realized no matter how much I wanted it, and modifications included it wasn't the right house for ALL the family members. I would have always felt it was a selfish decision. Since then we've gone back to another house we've been watching for a 3rd visit..... and now plan to offer on because it's a good compromise house for everyone. I guess it took 3 visits to convince me that I was doing the right thing by choosing this one. It's not that I didn't like it, it was just not what I had envisioned we would buy which was a forever dream home. I've realized it might not be possible to mesh what is perfect for me with the needs of my son. So, after that really sank in and I became ok with it, I feel good about this offer. It's a low offer (I think it's overpriced and part of the reason it's been on the market 10 months) so if we get it, we will be able to make the changes I want that would make me happier with it, and it is an AWESOME place for my son's needs. Wish us luck!

brickmanhouse, they haven't done much if anything to my kitchen cabinets, which are painted plywood, and most of the cabs are 1950s plywood so very sturdy. I do recruit the kids a few times a year to wash down the bottom cabinets, and they know when we cook to wipe up any spills on the bottom cab fronts and to clean their fingerprints from the glass uppers, especially the one with the drinking glasses. I don't think they'd do much to hardwood, which is why I want to get hardwood in my new kitchen: ). My ugly 17yo white/pink/gray linoleum is another matter, however; my husband installed it before we met. When the kids were babies and toddlers and would amuse themselves making "can towers" while I cooked, falling cans (especially the big tomato ones) would dent the floor, so there are some black dents and rents in the lino where the top layer has been gouged out. But I don't mind because I'm hoping that one of these winters my husband will finally replace the lino I have hated for almost 20 years. I don't know about pets because I try to keep animals *out* of my house in general and kitchen in particular, though it doesn't always work, because I have enough to clean around here. Most people seem to be concerned about dog noses on the cabinets and nails on the hardwood, I think. We try to keep the farming *outside* the house. My worst battle is with the kids' chore clothes -- they don't seem to realize when things should go in the wash, or don't think to hang up damp coveralls instead of leaving them in a heap. But all that happens in the basement, far away from the kitchen, and the garage entrance to the basement, which is the kids' main entry, helps a lot. My worst battles *in* the kitchen are mostly aesthetics -- tractor parts that don't belong but are handy to the front door for the next trip to town, that ugly pile of boots by the front door, 4H project posters and country fair entries with pressed and dried leaves, grains and grasses on large sheets of posterboard on the wall by the kitchen table, the large 4H trophy on my marble-topped buffet. But those are also the signs of a well-used, well-loved kitchen, and thank goodness a family that's around the house more often that we aren't... Becky

Had a dozen Monarchs in my garden yesterday . I tried growing some milkweed from seed sent to me from a fellow grardenweber and they didn't come up I probably did something wrong next spring I'm going go along the highway and dig up some starts . I posted this story before but several years ago i had several hundred at once show up in late summer/early fall it was so cool they spent the night and were banging off the windows after dark trying to go to the lights on in the house I got up before daylight and watched them leave after the sun came up have never seen them like that since wish I had thought enough to take some pictures but it was before I had a digital camera and had no film in the camera I had.

I would want to keep one place in the US because I would expect we would come back here at some point - for health reasons perhaps or if one of us kicked the bucket the other would likely come back. I don't think we'd go back and forth much though like we would with a second home in the US. I have read about the "ties" situation which we don't have but can perhaps get by visiting "regularly". I'm not set on any particular area other than it being a smaller city - been looking at Lugano where rent seems a bit more reasonable than some other places. There are other smaller towns we've visited that I might prefer but probably better to be somewhere with more services. And I might rather be on the German side - closer proximity to our friends though I think it would be easier to learn Italian having learned some Spanish 100 years ago. We have these two homes now with all this stuff. Just the thought of getting rid of one house full of stuff and living a simpler lifestyle is appealing. At the moment anyway - I may be temporarily crazy and will come to my senses. DH is a geographer by training and spent much of his career traveling (and living) internationally. Always the adventurer, he is of course intrigued.