Downside of Retirement (not about $$)

12 years ago

I retired November 2. It was well after I was eligible to retire but before I HAD to retire. My job had changed, and it was no longer fun; I hated to get up in the morning. My friends who are retired have grandkids; I do not - was not able to have children. Many of my friends are still working. I have back problems, so there is a limit to what I can do physically (hiking, etc. are out)

This is depressing! I find myself piddling away the whole day on the computer instead of calling people and making plans, or just getting out of the house. It is odd because at work I was always a "self-starter" and had no trouble keeping busy.

DH is not eligible for a decent retirement until 2020, so I have accepted a job where I will be working 20 hours a week. It is expected to start in Jan/Feb. Meanwhile, I try to tell myself to take advantage of the time that I have now, but it is very hard. I have hobbies I used to enjoy, could go to the gym, volunteer, etc. But have to get motivated.

I may be one of the few people who definitely does not enjoy retirement.

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Comments (7)

ellendi
12 years ago
You might be right. Some people like the structure and routine of a job. Volunteering just isn't the same.
If your job did not change, you would still be there. So, in a way leaving was not really your choice.
I think you will be fine once you start your part-time job.
marie_ndcal
12 years ago
Do you have a community college you could take fun courses? I tried that for awhile taking some art programs but in my case most of the students were much younger, as compared to today. I also tried selling Avon, and did enjoy that, but too much traveling for such a little profit--extreme rural/mountain area.
Did enjoy a non denominational Bible study once a week. Now with DH gone, have gone back to stamp collecting, counted cross stitch, having a job with the church and trying to stay warm in this ND weather. Big change from CA but better living conditions and closer to relatives.
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Hi cheery one, I'm pleased that you're happy with the "pro"s of your retirement. And somewhat sad that you're feeling that you're not keeping up to the mark of what you'd hoped/planned to do. If you feel the need to beat yourself over the back about that - make sure it's with a wet noodle ... and only five strokes, O.K? As for the "average" retiree, I don't feel that I have too much of a handle on that ... and wonder what level of expertise you may claim in that department? I think that it's important to do things that we can be pleased with ourselves for having done, at the end of the day ... week ... month ... year. Something that I note to have been scarcely mentioned in this thread so far is the need that all of us retirees have to concern ourselves about (as well as people in the workforce) is the erosion of the value of our income (and, for us retirees, our assets) due to inflation, every year for about the last 80. There hasn't been much increase in incomes in recent years, except for the wealthy few ... but the prices keep going up ... and for most of us, those prices of much of the goods and services that we buy have been and are going up faster than the official rate of inflation. When we put money in the bank, or buy bonds, etc. which pay us the same number of dollars after several years that we gave them in the first place, apart from the "rent" on the money, it isn't only taxes and living expenses that much come out of the earnings ("rent on the money"), but an allowance for inflation, as well, in order to keep the purchasing power of those assets equal in ten years to what it is now. Good wishes to you for dealing well with the days ahead: may they be as many as please you, with good health, friends, enough bucks to meet your needs, things to do and a few challenges, here and there. ole joyfuelled
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joyfulguy
12 years ago
Hi there, crazy because the color of your retirement isn't exactly to your liking.

You were a self-starter at work.

You can be a self-starter at home ...

... and you have the advantage ... that you don't have a "bossy" boss ... to whose wishes it'd be very wise to kow-tow.

Now - you ... are ... your ... own ... boss!!

Enjoy it!!

What's that you say - that someone else can run your life better than you can?

Time to get your tail off of that rocking horse!

This is the best part of your life - get on with it!

Enjoy it!

ole joyful
joaniepoanie
12 years ago
Try Looking into OSHER Lifelong learning institute and see if it available in your area....lots of wonderful classes and programs geared towards the older crowd...I am not retired yet but a friends husband is and attends many lectures and classes and loves it.

Retirement is new for you so I don't think it's odd to feel like a fish out of water for a time. Your new part time job will help break up the week. I'm sure with time you will go back to some old hobbies and find new ones. Enjoy. The holidays and come January force yourself to get out, join a book club, volunteer...whatever. You'll feel better.

I am in the same situation you were...no longer like my job....or coworkers. I can't wait to retire in a year or two!
jakkom
12 years ago
I retired at 56, but it was four yrs before DH could join me. I tried volunteering but it's not really something I enjoy, although it's an excellent way to meet people and get out of the house.

One thing I've noted is that I never accomplish as much as I think I should, when I'm not working (I've had some long periods of unemployment, so I know whereof I speak). If I get half "my to do list" done, I'm doing well, LOL.

If you are having difficulties self-starting, you may be suffering from mild depresson. I'm most certainly NOT a fan of prescriptive medications, but they do have their uses and especially in depression, where a short-term dose might make all the difference in the world to you.

My MIL's attitudes changed dramatically with a very mild dose of anti-depressant. I knew intellectually such prescriptions can be helpful, but to see the "before and after" difference in someone living with us, was like night and day.

If you've got the flu, you'd get the vaccine shot or take OTC medications to alleviate symptoms. When you're stuck in a "blue funk", getting some mild help, short-term only, is a positive step. It doesn't mean you're mentally ill, and it's nothing to be ashamed of.

Good luck to you, and HTH.
hilltop_gw
12 years ago
Can you approach your retirement as if it were your job? That is, create your list of goals and tasks for the day. If you're not sure what those are, sit down with a piece of paper and make a list of all the things you used to wish you could do if you weren't employed.

Then, clock in at 8 or 9 AM or whatever your starting time would be. And begin. Don't let yourself get side-tracked with computer browsing or incidental time-killers. Create your new routine in the manner that you would like to see it. Or, begin by writing a letter to someone whom you haven't seen in a awhile. Tell yourself that everyday you'll write one letter. Take your AM and PM breaks and lunch break, etc. At the end of the day reflect back on what you accomplished. If you can list off several items - good for you! If not, then set a new goal for the next day. You are in control. Right now, you're just not sure how to proceed as this is new territory.
mary_md7
12 years ago
ColorCrazy, I am chiming in late, I know.

During my "first retirement" of a little more than one year, I took the necessary classes to become a master gardener. Though I now am back at work 3 days a week, I find that I am still able to participate in activities . They do not all required the physical labor of our Demonstration Garden (though I do work there), but also include the speakers' bureau, a program for school children, and many other activities that can be accomplished by a person with physical limitations. I've also enjoy edmeeting new people.

So if you are or have been a gardener, this may be an avenue for you to enjoy activities in your retirement.

Downside of Retirement (not about $$)

Comments (7)

ellendi

marie_ndcal

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