I'd ask him to list the things that make him want to go back: then see if those things are really there or just his longing for the way things used to be. Sometimes we tend to glorify the good things & forget about the bad. You don't mention the size of the city where he wants to move. Does it still have the amenities, entertainment sources, restaurants, etc. that you both like? What are some of the issues facing the community? We live in a small town where many have moved away; however they keep their home (or parents home when they die) so that they have a place to stay when they come back to visit or can someday move back. But the world they knew it as is no longer reality. The businesses have changed (or gone), the friends & family they knew are no longer around, people don't neighbor like they used to, etc. I'd test the waters before committing. Go back & stay for a month or so. If you want to get out of the city, make a list of the features you'ld really like in your new place and see if his hometown can provide those things.

I have been thinking a lot about comfort zones since Katrina. People refused to get on planes to go to states with low unemployment rates, and inexpensive housing so I asked myself where I would be willing to go. I am from Washington State. I would be pretty comfortable going to Oregon, Idaho, Colorado, Montana, the Dakotas, and Arizona. Anything else seems too far away, too foreign, too unfamiliar. I think this carries over into retirement planning. I couldn't go to Georgia because it is too far away. Until it got too expensive, people from Washington who wanted a warmer climate when they retired went to Caifornia. Now it is Arizona and Arizona is where I plan to go. It seems to me that people in the Northeast are more likely to stay on the east coast. I don't know what people in the heartland do. Do you go to Texas, New Mexico or ? Part of it is that I don't want to be more than a 3 hour plane ride from my children, but I think there is more to it than that. There may be very little difference from one state to another, but I don't know that and something in me seeks the familiar. Coming from a "blue" state, I will settle into the only "blue" county in Arizona. I would like to be more adventurous, but I always find myself seeking out the familiar. Someone I knew years ago had moved to Washington from the east coast. She said that it was so important to her that television was the same everywhere. Some people derided her comment because of her reliance on television, but I think I know what she meant. Once while visiting in South America, I found myself watching Plaza de Sesamo (Sesame Street) just for the familiar characters.

Greetings Philip, Some proofreading in order, I think. You might like to amend your survey, as in one location it uses the word "perceived" and, right beside it, "preceived". Many people will be reading that message. I'd have contacted you directly, but when you signed on a Gardenweb you didn't give me the option. ole joyful

Devorah, After he retires, will your husband have each and every hour of each and every day crammed full of stuff to do? After a short while of running around kicking up their heels and getting a lot of the stuff done that they'd been looking forward for years to doing ... ... some freshly-minted retirees ... ... sit around and get bored. Some wives get fed up (well, frustrated) with hubs spending quite a lot of time around the house. They were used to having the house to themselves (for most of the day). When I talked to folks in seminars about retirement, I suggested that some men, used to being involved in many things, take to following their wives about the house, suggesting that if she were to do such and such a task in a little different way, it would be easier, take less time, be more efficient, etc. But that it might not be a god idea to follow that practice if there were a gun in the house. Or a baseball bat. Also said that Tom retired one day, and next morning was sitting in his favourite chair, reading the paper. After a few minutes, he put the paper down and looked around. Picked it up again and read a while longer, then put it down again and looked around. After about five times of this, Marje says, "Something wrong"? "Where's breakfast?", asks Tom. Marje replies, "You retired yesterday, didn't you?" "Yes," says Tom, "What's that got to do with anything?" "So did I", says Marje, sweetly. After Tom contemplates that answer for a moment or two, Marje continues, "I'll tell you what - I'll get breakfast now, and after breakfast is over, we'll sit down to discuss who's going to do what around here. How does that grab you?" We don't have record of Tom's reply. But this story seemed to receive a more positive response from the female portion of the audience than from their counterparts. Are there some interests of his in which you might develop an interest? Some of yours that might interest him, when he has more time on his hands? Perhaps you can develop some new paths that might be of interest to you both, when he isn't burdened by work any longer. Paid employment, that is - I realize that he's not the only one that works around your house, now. Good wishes to you both for a blessed New Year. ole joyful