As evidenced by my other threads, I'm at the site almost every day, as I only live two miles away and pass it going to/from shopping etc. It's a spec town home being built in the builder's development, and they have a great policy of letting you visit as often as you wish, as long as you suit up in a hard hat. Now I also have to pick up a key since it's done enough to be locked down when workers aren't there. I've taken full advantage of this policy and have videotape and photos of everything behind the walls and even of the shared wall with the next door unit, as well as detailed photos from every stage of the build. I've also caught a couple of incorrect things early, like an incorrectly placed hose bib, so they were able to be corrected before it became a lot of time and trouble later. Because I don't own the home yet, I can't really tell the workers what to do. I say "hello" and chat with them about their work if they bring it up themselves, but mostly I try to stay out of their way. Still, it's handy to be there sometimes, like when the electrician was putting in the hot tub box, as he had a question that it was easiest to ask us (we paid for that added work, so I felt comfortable talking to him about the specs). Even though I have some minor bones of contention with the builder at the moment, overall the policy of letting me have unlimited access to the construction site has given me a lot more confidence. I marvel at people who don't get a good look before the final walk-through, as that's much too rushed and stressful of a time to get a good look at everything. I plan to go through by myself a few days before that so I can test and scrutinize things at my leisure. That way, I'll know exactly where to focus on that final day.

I have been thinking a lot about comfort zones since Katrina. People refused to get on planes to go to states with low unemployment rates, and inexpensive housing so I asked myself where I would be willing to go. I am from Washington State. I would be pretty comfortable going to Oregon, Idaho, Colorado, Montana, the Dakotas, and Arizona. Anything else seems too far away, too foreign, too unfamiliar. I think this carries over into retirement planning. I couldn't go to Georgia because it is too far away. Until it got too expensive, people from Washington who wanted a warmer climate when they retired went to Caifornia. Now it is Arizona and Arizona is where I plan to go. It seems to me that people in the Northeast are more likely to stay on the east coast. I don't know what people in the heartland do. Do you go to Texas, New Mexico or ? Part of it is that I don't want to be more than a 3 hour plane ride from my children, but I think there is more to it than that. There may be very little difference from one state to another, but I don't know that and something in me seeks the familiar. Coming from a "blue" state, I will settle into the only "blue" county in Arizona. I would like to be more adventurous, but I always find myself seeking out the familiar. Someone I knew years ago had moved to Washington from the east coast. She said that it was so important to her that television was the same everywhere. Some people derided her comment because of her reliance on television, but I think I know what she meant. Once while visiting in South America, I found myself watching Plaza de Sesamo (Sesame Street) just for the familiar characters.

As Arialvetica wrote above, I use a charrette approach. For local design all conceptualizing is done in a face to face design session with the client an integral part of the process. It minimizes the '"back and forth," meaning your architect showed you a plan, you proposed changes, he/she modified it, you asked for more changes, the architect chaned it again". I can float an idea and draw it up and get owner reaction right there in lieu of guessing and involving possible "back to the drawing board" stuff. No spectators are allowed because everyone is an active participant. I wrote about the process in a colleagues blog "Life of an Architect" here http://www.lifeofanarchitect.com/design-in-a-day/ and put another on this site a while back here...please scroll down to my photo heavy 5/12/16 post http://ths.gardenweb.com/discussions/3887104/what-should-i-expect-from-my-architect-long?n=22 This one was like 3 sessions over the course of around 4 weeks.

First of all, thank you for your caring, for your own personal stories and for your wonderful advice. I really needed it all! I'm sure that this cold virus that's knocked me out these last 3 days is because my non-stop stress had left my immune system a bit lacking. BTW, I am so liking and needing all of your advice here, that I'm printing it ALL out to keep rereading. It's like a pick-me-up before bed and first thing in the morning after DH heads off to work. Second, Oakley, I hear you and everyone who's warned me that having DH around a lot more during the day will be a lot like having him in my way and under foot (LOL)!. Just a (kind of) funny story: Last month, instead of heading straight into his study after dinner, DH told me that we needed start getting into the retirement mode and so he was going to help me clear the table and do the dishes every evening. Ummm, ok. Next thing you now, he's telling how to do dishes "better"! I put up with it for 2 nights and then kicked him out of the kitchen! Don't get me wrong, he's the kindest, most thoughtful guy and he actually is really good at just about everything, including cooking. But, he's been the boss of his/our clinic for 37 years with no one above him and so he's just used to telling his staff and his patients what to do. I not take well to being "bossed around". He's learned this over the years, but (sigh) I see it starting up again some after he retires. To all of you who suggested not throwing him a retirement party for our close friends between Christmas and New Years, good advice. I'll wait until after. Thank you. To all who suggested hobbies: DH has been an avid golfer for almost all of his life. He is the last of his foursome to retire, so he will have that for sure. Like I mentioned, he is an excellent cook who loves it, and he does want to help cook and plan our meals. That's ok. He's good company to grocery shop with to some extent, although like most men who don't shop on a regular basis, he tends to forget and block the aisles with his cart. AND, being a doc and former pharmacist he drives me crazy sometimes reading the ingredients on every package! Anyhoo, he loves to read, and hike, and work around the house. And since we have many projects waiting for him, I'm sure he'll have plenty to do. As for me, I don't golf and don't enjoy hiking. But, I do plan to start volunteering again after the first of the year. Regarding volunteering, good idea that we should start talking about it now! With both DH and I having worked in medicine for many years, we do want to get involved in that aspect. I did MUCH volunteer work at my kids' school over the years and am thinking about that again. Another opportunity may be with Habitat for Humanity, which one of our good friends is involved in. For DH, as although I love to decorate, I don't like sawing, hammering, etc., and absolutely hate painting. Also, I've just learned that one of my neighbors is involved in gathering and distributing home goods for foster kids who have timed out of the system/program. She and others help set them up in their own places with furnishings and utensils, etc. That would be right up my alley! Regarding becoming couch potatoes versus keeping in shape, we have an Elliptical, Body Blade, weights and a Bowflex here and are planning on turning one of our guest rooms into a workout room right after Christmas. I'd also like to join a gym, for swimming, which I love. DH is slender and in great shape, but sinks like a rock in the water, so he’s not interested in swimming for exercise (LOL)! And, neither one of us is much into watching tv series, etc. We do love watching the news every morning and evening, but some golf, college football (we're BIG Sooner fans!), some History Channel and (for me) some HGTV is pretty much it. My darn keyboard is acting up. It keeps missing letters and freezing up! I don’t want to lose what I’ve already written, and so I’ll post this and go on from here.