I've already posted the coral fabric a couple of days ago; see above. It won't look any different with the fringe applied. I cannot believe no one has commented on my white (but not antique white) windows (or mantel). I have to paint those still. I've been waiting to paint them until I removed the old drapery rod. Now I can do it. Good news today: Calico Corners extended its 25% off fabric sale through 1/26, so I have time to wait for my samples to arrive before committing to the RL Foxberry plaid. I would get it somewhere else and feel less pressured, but CC's price is more than $20 less than even places in fabric row here in the city because I've been told that CC has special RL pricing (on top of which I can get the 25% off). I ordered a bunch of memos of the discontinued fabric from Robert Allen today. They have to be sent from SC, so it'll probably take a few business days.

Laurels, I guess you needed to mention how you were led astray by your husband to make your points, but if you still dwell on this history, then it will be a hindrance to progress in the here and now. It is what it is. Any kid that fails subjects time and again has parents that are not paying attention. Either that or the kid is in over his head and needs a great deal of help. You very well know that if the foundations are not learned, progression doesn't happen. If the boy isn't keeping up with the class, then he would have a good reason not to have his homework finished--he couldn't do it. Common teacher. Why would you ask a kid that has been failing why he didn't do his homework. That's kind of a trick question. Forget about the lie that he told--help this boy. The solution to the boy not doing his homework is simple. You make up a tally kind of check list. Every day, every one of his teachers initial the same sheet of paper. The list should be short. You make the list to include every subject. The checklist should include something that could reflect something positive. That way, the check list will remind the boy and teachers what he is good at, along with what areas are in need of work. You check the checklist every day. If homework wasn't done, then the boy gets to sit down and do his work in front of you. If he needs help, then you help him. He doesn't get to do anything else until the work is finished. You check the work and then say, well done. You know he needs help and so you help him. Charts...I've seen some charts in my day...but few that work. Why? They weren't designed to work. Tackle one thing at a time. If the boy does anything without being told over and over, let him know that you notice. If he does anything you ask him to do, make sure you show appreciation. Ask the boy what chores he would like to do. Ask him for five minutes a day. When you see he is handling the five minutes, up the time to six minutes. Over a long time, maybe by the time he is thirteen he'll be able to stay on task for an hour. About lieing or trying to make someone else the blame for whatever...quit asking him for a reason or an explanation. You don't ask him why his room isn't clean. You say, come here son. I'm going to keep you company for five minutes. For five minutes we are going to pick things up and put them away. Tomarrow we'll spend another five minutes. When five minutes go by say; see, we made some progress. That was even a little fun, huh? Sometime you can help me do something, ok? He'll say sure. There you go, five minutes. So the room is still a mess. Who gives a hoot. The next day the project will get another five minutes. That's all. What is important is that the you and the boy start making some progress. How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. Everything you do in regard to this boy should be about you using it as an opportunity for positive interaction. If you and the boy can't get along for five minutes, then spend only three minutes with trying to have positive interaction. I'm saying that you need positive interaction and much less fault finding. You and the boy need each other. You are a threat to this boy, stop it. You don't ask him why his homework isn't done. If the boy comes home with the check list from school and you see that he didn't turn his homework in, then you have him sit down and do the homework. That's all. No speeches. No distractions. Quite time for serious homework duty/rule. No TV -- nothing else! If a kid plays in his bed until he can hear his dad coming in from work...and you know it. Well, what is that! If it's suppose to be bedtime and the kid is playing in bed, well then you let him know that you will be taking the toys out of his room. You don't have to yell; you don't have to snarl, just let him know that there are some rules and you will be keeping the rules. Sometime sit down and tell him about all the rules his dad has to keep like getting to work on time, like stopping at a red light. Simple to understand rules. There are plenty of rules that we wish we didn't have to keep. Make it a fun kind of conversation. Let him talk. You listen. Beween the time you get home and the kids' bedtime, you don't have much time to waste or to be interrupted. I'll bet that if you spend five minutes every day with the boy on this homework thing, you will be very proud of the accomplishments that the two of you can make. Alldoglover suggested family meetings. Those work well in some families, but not all. I suspect that where you and your husband are right now, the family meeting would turn out to be an opportunity for you or your husband to grandstand and then the meetings would be dreaded and more harm would be done. Family meetings are good when people are busy and need to have a special time set aside for the family. Family meetings work when there is good will in the home, especially coming from the leadership. I believe that you and your husband need to learn some parenting skills. You may be correct in many of your ideas, but the way you go about trying to implement your ideas may have something to do with the ways in which your husband is giving you a hard time. Perhaps the same could be said for your husband. If you are going to find success in your marriage and in parenting, you are going to have to get over how you were somehow led astray. Dwelling on what happened in the past is not going to help you in the present. It is what it is.

This guy is a jerk. You cannot force him to be a good parent. The fact that he spent very little time in the hospital and then left you 1 week after your son arrived home is proof enough. FD she cannot go for CS. He has no job therefore no cash. And it will be a pain over the years to watch and see if he does every get a job. My thoughts is he is not going to so he wont pay. The real question is do you really want a person such as this to be exposed to your son and for your son to learn and look up to such a loser? I personally would not want to be around a human like this regardless if he is the biological father. His standards do not look that high and smoking around his child when he knows that he has breathing difficulty and has no interesting in improving your child health to me is a very big issues. He may have visitation eow weekend and wednesday but the smoking has to stop or visitation should cease until the gets it through his skull that for health reasons he should not smoke around his child. Personally, i would not want anything to do with him and i wouldnt' want my child to be influenced and i would pack up go and leave. Sorry that's how i feel with a man such as you have described. No you wont get Cs or any support from him but hey, at least your kid will be in a better caring environment and that is waht counts. As for the future on what to say to your son, well, that's delicate. Cs, you cannot force anyone to work if they do not want to. you can apply and the courts can calculate allllll they want. But if daddy dear sponges off girlfriends for the rest of his life you will not see a penny. And you will waste alot of time, effort and cash on your part the money you will not see. My friend chased hers for 17 years and not a dime...he owed thousands. but because her ex was living with a very rich girlfriend and he didnt' work...therefore no cash towards ex wife...he also didn't see his kids and was a jerk as well. Its your call. Do what is best for your son , his health is important. If dad cannot follow the health instructions for your son, like the drip and etc. appointemnts, then he doesn't get him. Will you forgive yourself if one day, in his care, your son has a wheezing attack and passes? What will you do? i'm serious. I'm not here to scare you but you are his mother. If his dad is irresponsible do NOT send him there. I know you need a break...but ask for time with friends and family not from a jerk who obviously is not taking care of his son properly.

I know many parents who have co-signed mortgages for their adult children, for a variety of reasons. Their name also is on the deed. It really depends on the assets of the parents and the reliability of the adult children. In all but one case, the house was eventually re-financed and only the adult child was on the mortgage or the deed as by now, they fully qualified. In the one case, it's due to both the husband and wife being self-employees in fields that are economy-dependent. They have never missed a mortgage payment but their source of income is still considered too risky for lenders. Interestingly, many years ago a woman I knew said they had to borrow out of their TIAA retirement funds in order to buy a house. Her husband was a high school math teacher and basketball coach and local lenders felt the basketball coach part meant his job was very high risk. And in the end it was - one losing season and his teaching contract was not renewed.