If I were starting from scratch to find the right small town, I've learned there are a few things that can make big differences.

For example, states without an income tax help. Also, the local chamber of commerce can provide a fairly accurate picture of whether the area is economically stable or in decline.

One of the things we've come to appreciate is finding a town where people feel comfortable and proud to call it home for their retirement years. People continue to move here, which helps to stabilize the economy.

And yet another key is making sure healthcare facilities are nearby.

To solve your problem, I wonder if I should write down these kinds of things in the form of a checklist along with a list of websites we used in our research.

Would a checklist be of value to you and others?

That is very generous of you and I am sure it would be helpful to a lot of people considering retiring to a new area. Maybe start a new thread as well so more folks will see it. I would appreciate the info.

You are so correct about health care. We chose a place with 1 hospital 5 miles away and a 2nd hospital 15 miles away. We got a letter from Humana that neither of these hospitals are now in their network. So, we will have to change insurance carriers and pay much higher premiums, or pay the extra charges for out of network hospitalization or drive to the neighboring state 45 minutes away. So 5 years after retiring a new challenge has been thrown into the mix.

"we cut housing expense to roughly a tenth of what it was before"

This comment is rather hard to believe.

There are people who are okay with leaving behind friends and (sometimes) family to move to a new area. Sometimes there's a financial need to do so or a desire to live somewhere with better weather.

There are others who aren't.

For those who spent their lives with all the activities and other things readily available in a more populous area, small town life isn't an alternative many would find acceptable. Except for those looking for a quieter life and who didn't take advantage of what's available in a big town. I have know a couple who, for financial reasons, sold their house and moved to a large and well known retirement community a few hours away, in a small town. Short answer is - they're bored and unhappy with their choice. I would be too.

Another important consideration as we all age is the need to have access to really good medical facilities. Small town hospitals, even those of the regional kind, are notoriously poor. As are many docs in small towns. Better doctors practice in larger places, most especially those affiliated with top medical schools. Just something else to keep in mind.

It is possible. Moved from a big city with high property taxes and insurance premiums. Purchased new property with equity and no mortgage. (No debt feels great!)

Not saying all small towns are equal, just as all doctors are not. Maybe we found something special and perhaps this is the exception. For us, it was the right move.

We moved to a 'small town' immediately outside the big city. Some towns have a distinct character regardless of location. We had previously lived in a rural area, maybe 6 or 7 miles to the city. There was no center or character to the area where we were, just a wide spot in the road with a shopping center (grocery, drug store, cleaners, several restaurants). We are now in a community like I've never known before. 19000 people in 7400 households, 30% with children under 18. There are several commercial strips that cover most of day-to-day necessities. And we are a short distance from several good hospitals, major malls, and all the perks of big city living. And we are three blocks from the Philadelphia city limits. But we have a very small-town atmosphere.

Sometimes you do not need to isolate yourself, either by being remote or being in a restricted community, but you need to dig a little harder to find places where you can be comfortable.

(I feel like I live in Beaver-Cleaver Land or Lake Woebegon. Just looked up more demographics, 3.5% of population is under the poverty level. 87% of homes are owner occupied. The schools are good, parks are clean, and the children are all above average.)

But the point of my story is there are more places to look than you might think.

sushipup, you made a move in the opposite direction - from a smaller area to a more populous area, and hopefully are making an effort to enjoy the opportunities you missed for so many years in a rural setting in a small county. You've got top medical schools and their accompanying hospitals and clinics, along with all the cultural, entertainment and nightlife choices of a thriving city.

things, if you paid cash for your housing, part of your monthly cost is the investment return you're NOT getting by having the money tied up in the house. You own 100% either way. It's a choice but it's not like it's cost-free. Housing prices always reflect supply and demand. Areas that are in greater demand (for whatever the basket of reasons) are always more expensive, and areas in less demand are always cheaper. When housing in an area is cheaper than elsewhere, it's usually for many reasons. That may or may not be relevant to everyone in making their choices.

I have previously posted on here. Just to give you an update, nothing has changed. I'm still living at the same place. I came close to selling my place, but I chickened out. There are times I regretted not taking the sale. But maybe I'm just not ready yet.

I'm 60 and never been married. What made me chicken out was that while the sale of my place was pending, I went to a 55+ place near where I live. I think that I had mentioned before - that place had lost some appeal for me. The last time I went to visit there (about two months ago), I spoke to some people who lived at the place. They all rent, no owners. They all said (just a few I spoke to) that the people are nice and it's quiet, but the rents are high and it keeps going up. Plus maintenance does not come to repair unless if it's an emergency. At that complex, it's owned (and been inherited) to a couple of children who are having a feud with each other. So they are competing with each other by building more units. The whole property has two business names, even though it's one family.

That 55+ is the only place in the area near me. I can't quit my job now to move and I don't know anybody in other places. Except for my sister, who lives on the opposite coast from me. It was where I came from, and I never want to move back there.

I'm close to getting my mortgage paid off at where I am now. But I am not happy with: not having much money in my savings, about $30,000 of repairs I'm going to have to make, and most of all I personally don't feel that I'm the right fit with my neighbors. So I don't know what to do!

Sushipup - can I ask where exactly you moved to? I am looking for new construction closer to Philadelphia without actually being in Philadelphia county. I have looked at 55+ communities with SFH near Lancaster, but if I need a hospital, I'm headed to UPENN.

I don't think that there are any over-55 new construction projects in this area. Very little new construction at all, no 55+ projects..

There are lots of plus 55 communities in the South. One of the most popular is Del Web.

Places like Florida and elsewhere in the South have exploded with retirees from the Midwest and East Coast moving in, seeking warmer winters and lower living costs.

At the same time, there are also many people who do not view the South as a desirable place to live. Maybe this is regional - I'm in the West and have never known a soul from around here who has moved there for retirement or otherwise. I know I never would.

Perhaps it is regional as no one I know would ever live in the west.

I wouldn't move South, either, Elmer.

As to my post lauding my community, my point is that there are wonderful places to live that are not 55+ closed communities. You just need to open your mind to other possibilities.

Here's some interesting information, migration to/from each state. To change the perspective from people moving in to people who left, click on the box at the upper right of each chart. For most southern states, the data shows very limited inward migration from people from western states.

Where people move to and from

My sister moved from Chicago to Carolina Arbors, a Dell Webb community in Durham. She loves it. However, my kids and grandchild live in PA, and I want to stay close to them.

Although PA has a pretty hefty property tax in the better school districts ( especially in the counties surrounding Philadelphia ) there is no income tax on pensions or SS.

Renovating an older home has zero appeal to me, but finding a smaller, SFH new costruction without well water, septic tanks or power lines, under a half million, is harder than I thought.

If I had no attachments, I would move to the Pacific NW in a heartbeat. Florida, not so much.

I just have a simple question to ask for those living in a 55 + community. Are there cliques in those places? I an considering moving to a 55 + place and was told that, while looking at one, it can appear to be a very friendly place. And then once I move in, I probably would not like living there because it can be cliquey. I would appreciate some feedback. Thanks.

Twilliams115; I do not live in one but know some have cliques. Although not quite same, My Mom lived in a few low income 55&up (all cute to nice). she was social, but there were cliques. Was same with her assisted living(which was very nice place). Also, I have been told Greenbriar 2 is clique, yet GG one is not. Good luck

Suzanne, your situation similar to mine except I live on Jersey shore. I would rather not do Fl either. I would look into NC but kids live in NJ. I can't retire NJ. All the NJ 55 plus and condos taxes plus HOA add up to my private home's taxes. And since Sandy, many have renters(not that all renters are bad).

To Cindy, thank you for replying. Just one question, what or where is GG?

As of now I am still thinking things through. Being 60 and never married and not having someone in tow, I wonder if I would be accepted by the others?

Just a suggestion for people who post names of communities. Post where they are located. In this area there are several that are owned by the same company. The names start with the company name then of or at the rest of the name. A place in Florida could have the same name as one in Wisconsin even if not owned by the same company.

Twilliams15 I'm Tricia the unpredictable issue is I found 55+ home I'm 46 he's 62 there are other matters going on with his immediate family looks like im not sure that he will move out I'll be living there only I'm also disabled will I be thrown out or able to live there im preparing myself as i dont know to much about the rules .Thankyou Tricia

"the unpredictable issue is I found 55+ home I'm 46 he's 62..."

Many years ago my late parents lived in Leisure Knolls in Lakehurst (Since incorporated as another town.), NJ. A 55+ community.

Older/eligible gentleman had a much younger wife. Short of it, my parents said it was jokingly called a "scandal" in that she got pregnant and had a child.

They were required to sell and move.

I have decided to stay put at where I am. I am twilliams115 and I might have another user name assigned to me.

I have decided to stay where I am because of financial reasons. I didn't make that decision with glee. You might say that it's bittersweet. My mortgage will be all paid off by the end of this year. So it will cost me less to live where I am. I especially thought of possibly being unemployed and I would have a safety net.

But the downside still is having to make repairs, a lot of personal items I need for myself that I have put off, and the neighbors are unfriendly. But, we'll see!

My husband and I currently live in NWNJ and we like it here, it is mountainous, lots of cute towns, but taxes are high. We r thinking of moving to the Charlotte! NC area and have been looking at Trilogy in Denver. The houses are nice, but too many windows , I would prefer a bit more wall space to give privacy. We did a 'try before u buy' visit and enjoyed it, but I have just not had my 'ah ha' moment. Is anyone in this blog familiar with this area? It is so confusing to think where to retire, the Where to Retire magazine makes everything sound great! Any input would be appreciated.

Many of us who move into a 55+ community make the same comment as ladybanksrose about our home being our "forever place". However, sometimes we forget that if this is our forever place, we are going to get older just as the currently "old farts" have done. This seems to be the case especially with those moving in now who are closer to the "55" end and forget about the "+". I live in Del Webb Sun City West which bills itself as the premier golf retirement facility in Arizona. Some of the "younger" people moving want more or other than golf and have been heard to say the "old farts" should move out. I've lived in the master-planned community in a stand-alone house for eight years with my late husband and now have lived in a smaller HOA community within the master-planned community for five years. This way of living is not "normal" and hasn't been around forever, and it can be very difficult for 55+ people to make the right decision when they've never been 55+ before.

I had to stop and comment as this thread pops up every time I research living in a 55+ community. First of all, I think the comments about not being surrounded by people of all ages are not at all that representative of 55+ communities. That's on you. If you never get up, never do anything, then, yeah, you'll be sitting in your home surrounded only by people 55+. But that would be on you regardless of where you live. You could be in a family neighborhood and never get out much, and it wouldn't matter who you're "surrounded by" if you don't interact with them.

You aren't locked up in the 55+ community with no opportunities to leave, lol. You can get out among the greater community or metro area your 55+ community is located near. It's also more likely that the younger adults in a regular community are probably all working during the day, so you'll just be surrounded by empty houses or condos.

55+ communities these days are more likely to include hiking clubs, running clubs, kayaking and rowing clubs, plus have access to continuing education opportunities at local colleges and universities. There are clubs for photographers, quilters, old car enthusiasts, writers, etc.

It's great to be around people who have shared similar life experiences, who share a common "language", so to speak. But you're not limited to those people exclusively. You're free to volunteer out in the wider community and to pursue interests outside the 55+ community.

As for HOA communities, the reality is that most of those "rules" are for the greater benefit of the community and to preserve the value of the homes for buyers. No one wants to live next to the guy who keeps old car parts out on the driveway, or the lady who thinks two dozen pink plastic flamingos plus all of Snow White's seven dwarfs and a small army of garden gnomes makes for a lovely front lawn, or the folks who think that old Barcalounger looks just fine in the yard. No one wants to live with an incessantly barking dog, or one that roams the neighborhood and pees and poops all over other people's property.

A 55+ community may or may not be for you, but don't write them off so quickly. Most have "try before you buy" programs where you can stay for a few nights to get the feel of the place. If it's not for you, fine, but to paint all residents with the same brush is pretty narrow and ignorant. Plenty of old farts who do nothing everywhere, and plenty of youthful, fit, intellectually and physically active people in 55+ communities.

Juliefromdenver, thanks for your input. I have been on the fence about what type of community to move into ...55plus or a regular neighborhood. I feel that the 55 plus may win out because I currently live next to a house that has not been taken care of for 18 years, since the present owners moved in and is now in foreclosure and the house is slowly falling apart. I don't think I want to risk moving into a neighborhood where this could happen ..it may never, but not sure I want to take a chance, nor do I want a house with a penned up dog, etc.. I love animals, but would upset me if I lived next to one tied up, etc., and it does happen in nice neighborhoods.

i agree that you can either spend 24 hours a day in a gated community with all the activities at your fingertips, or you can venture into the community to meet a whole new community and get involved. I would like to have a balance and as you say it would be on me to make this happen. We do want a 'lock and leave' house and feel by being in a gated community it would give us some sense of security, but of course nothing is guaranteed.

This way of living might not be normal, but so many of these communities are springing up and selling out.

@frlballey1 Good luck with your search -- we're in the middle of ours and we have been quite pleasantly surprised by the 55+ communities we've seen. Not what we expected, but in a good way!

Many do offer "lock and leave" programs nowadays because so many buyers are purchasing before they retire and using their homes either as vacation property or as rental property (depending on the CC&Rs of the community). Personally, I think the gated v. non-gated thing is a non-issue -- so many construction workers, service providers, etc., have access anyway, and that's often where the security break-down occurs.

Juliefromdenver you r probably correct about the security, I think it just makes u feel better and maybe easier to ask a neighbor to watch your property than a neighbor with kids, football runs, etc etc.. May I ask where you are looking for your retirement destination? I have been looking at a Where to Retire magazine from 2013 and saw Westhaven,, TN ...looks gorgeous,. But homes r very pricey ( at least for us), also looked at another in the TN area, but an hour to and hour and a half to a major city...so difficult to know what to do.

We moved into a 55+ development 3 1/2 years ago in NH. DH is retired, but I'm still working--one of the few in our neighborhood of 62 homes. When we were looking, our realtor made the comment that in this development, you can be as involved or not as you want and no one will think any differently of you. We've found that to be the case.

The five streets each host a block party at some point during the year. Those who chose to attend (normally 50%) bring something to share along with whatever they are drinking. The guys have a ROMEO (Retired Old Men Eating Out) group that meet monthly with a speaker, many who are residents. Most of the people who live here have moved to be close to grandchildren. I'm amazed at the various backgrounds--engineers, chemists, medical professionals, lawyers, tv producers.

This type of community is not for everyone, but we've certainly found it welcoming and glad we made the decision to move.

I have posted on here before. The last time I posted on here was on September 29, 2017. I had contemplated about selling my condo and moving into a 55 + place. Well, I did it! I sold my condo and have moved into a 55 + and disabled place. It's a small apartment complex. So far I am liking it. It's not a kind of place that has a lot of amenities like other places and it's less expensive.

I haven't connected with anyone at my new place. I moved in just two weeks ago. The people have been friendly so far. So much better than the place I just sold and left.

I have been surprised to see some younger people there, even though there's a sign out front saying it's a 55 + and those with disabilities place. Yesterday I spoke to one guy, who has a wife and a baby. I asked him, "how did you get in here?" He said something about a law states that a 55+ place can take up to 80% of what they want. That surprised me. That guy acted like he didn't like me asking him that question. I'm thankful that they don't live next door to me.

Before you diss this family, they might end up being good neighbors. Its kind of nice to have young people around.

I'm over 60,single and have for the last few years been seriously considering a 55+ community in Florida.Probably the biggest thing holding me back is the fear of ending up in a place full of people for whom if you're single,never married,no children or grandchildren you will end up being isolated ,even ostracized by a community of very conservative ,very traditional ,very gossipy and cliquish old folks, which from what I've seen and heard are the majority .I made two separate visits to one of these communities and spoke to one resident each time.The first words out of one man's mouth were "are you a married Man ? " The second resident,in answer to my question about about the quality of the community answered "at least there aren't any Ni---rs living here.This was a well kept manufactured home community with a golf course 2 pools,tennis courts and homes from $50-$200,000.I have no family here,hate winter,am retired and dealing with increased isolation but have a real fear of selling my house,burning my bridges and ending up in a worse situation in a 55+ community.

I've commented on here before so will add a little more. My husband and I ended up in a very popular 55+ community in SC. For me it was the worst thing we could have done - I knew the longer we rented in this community while we "looked around", the more I was certain we would end up buying here. There are a lot of amenities which are great if you use them, but I am not a golfer, tennis or pickleball player and never likely to be because of a shoulder injury. I am a walker and there are no trails here - so when you see that it says "miles of walking trails", be careful - a walking trail is in a park not through a neighborhood. I don't like the area, not enough to do. Although we will lose money on the house we bought, I am ready to move in a year or two - even though the thought of packing up does not thrill me, but can't see myself here in 5 or 10 more years. I truly wish we had stayed where we were.

Also, really really think about whether you truly want to move or not - it is not cheap, the moving truck, the packing equipment, storage unit, rental someplace, insurance, new car insurance, etc. etc., the list goes on. I have been looking for what we had and will never find where we are. For me it was the worst decision and if currently causing me a great deal of anxiety.

Well, fast forward to now. The cons far outweigh any "pros". These places are full of nosy, bored old people who have nothing to do but police everyone else, get up in everyone's business, gossip and harass people. Most 55+ communities, apparently, are really more like 65-70+ communities. The old people resent the minority group of younger retirees, want to refuse to let us ride bikes or run or walk, or do anything actually "active" in this active adult community. I hate it here times a thousand. It's culturally bankrupt, it's shallow, and I spend so much time getting away from here it makes no sense to pay HOAs here anymore, or to have to spend so much time driving just to get to civilization and educated people.

Leaving this place in the dust, moving back to civilization and people my own age.

I moved into a Del Webb 55 plus community two months ago. I am a single women, 62 and very physically active. Now I find out that the average age here is 74, most of the people I meet are my parents age. The women are really mean to me, tell me I can't wear the clothes I am wearing, follow me in their cars when I go running and tell the security company I must not live here because I am jogging. No one else runs here so they make it up I must not live here. I paid $618,000 cash for a house. What a mistake. My neighbors were hated by the previous owner, neighbors on the other side of them don't speak to them and I no longer speak to them. Most of the people here moved in when the place opened 20 years ago and are pushing 80 and are no longer of sound mind. They give me bad information, bad directions, lose their short term memory right in front of me. The women are highly offended by me at the gym and pretty much at all times. These places are NOT for single younger women. There are a lot more widowed women than men and a lot of bored married people so the last thing they want is younger, single women around.

Eight people rang my door bell the first week I was here to find out who I was and ask me lots of questions. They ring my bell to tell me I have packages and something must be done, they ring my bell to tell me the drip irrigation in front of my house has one tiny receptor shooting six inches out of the ground.

These people gossip and gossip, the males are over friendly and the women are cruel to me. The people ask me why do I want to live around old married people. And, they use the HOA to report me and I report them. I knew after 2 weeks I was in the wrong place and am faced with having to move and sell the house. These places are 75 plus year old baby boomers with short term memory problems and lots of other problems who live in a bubble of all white, all old people and they don't want to know anything about what is going on outside of here. I don't think it is a good idea to have these kinds of places because people gossip because they are bored, they police everyone because they are bored, it ends up with senile people who should be moving on to assisted living hanging on for their lives in their homes resenting anyone in their 50s or early 60s being here.

The developers never thought about the fact that in 20 years most of the residents would be 80 and they want to stay on in their houses even though they hit cars parked on the street, should no longer be driving, they say crazy inappropriate things and they can't remember what they are saying. Now the place has all of these people who should be in assisted living who are not going to leave here until they die. When they see younger people they realize how old they are and when I see them I see my future - a petty, gossiping, desperate, jealous person. No thanks.

Most everyone I meet is 78, my father would be 82 if he was alive. I am offended at being run out of here in one month flat by the gossiping, by the women saying mean things to me. I'm offended by people asking me why do I want to live around old married people, why am I here. I'm offended women stop me on the street and tell me my clothing is inappropriate. I'm offended my neighbor lets his cat pee and poop in my yard and tells me it is fine when it's against the rules. I'm offended my neighbor keeps hitting vehicles parked in front of my house with her car. I'm offended people are talking to me and stop in short term memory lose and cannot get their train of thought back. NO one here runs except me and they call security patrol on me and follow me and make it up I am young and do not live here, as if I would come into this ugly old folks farm to run for some reason. I paid a ton of money for the house and am followed by old women in cars when I am walking and running and they make it up I do not live here. I am offended that the men make it up I am gay because I am from San Francisco. All of the gossip and nonsense is offensive. I was followed yesterday by a man in a black truck because his wife told me how dare me wear pink leggings and she got in a big fight with me on the street and sent her husband to stalk to me find out where I live. Thank goodness I get followed all the time here so I knew what was going on and did not go into my house. It does not get any worse than this.

You are making it up my mother was rapped. you would fit in nicely here with the lying and cruelty. good fit.

I reported the comment where the person said my mother must have been raped at 13 years of age. The person made my case for me. Obviously the person is senile, can't do simple math, made it up my mother would have been 13 when she had me, oh so offensively said my mother must have been raped, and, this old person will sell it until the day they die that all is my fault, I have it coming, him/her being cruel and totally inappropriate and unable to do simple math is all my fault, I deserve all of it. This is what these old people do. The poster made my case for me.

Not sure which Del Webb you live in, Joanne, but I do not see that happening at the one I am in. True, I don’t think it is for me, but we do have some very nice neighbors who look out for each other. Younger seniors are also moving in, but it’s still not my first choice of an area to live. For all of our best intentions, my husband and I made this decision, altho I think it really was what neither of us had set out looking for. Now with all that is happening around us, we will be here a while no doubt.

In talking with people, I’ve also heard that in moving into a mixed age community, many of the families, working couples, kept to themselves and there was no interaction. So obviously no place is perfect or what we think might be. Where we moved from, we had a youngish family right across the road and they never came across when we were moving out to say ‘goodbye’, but we had welcomed them into the neighborhood when they bought their house.

my husband seems quite settled here, but I do think that men overall have an easier time of uprooting and moving and fitting in. Where we moved from, i had friends of all ages and I do chat frequently with older people here.

Good luck Joanne Woodward whatever you do, I hope you find the right spot for you. Maybe i will too one day.

Also I used to live near a mixed age gated community and I still follow their blog site....you think the Del Webb place u live in is bad ....the residents in this upscale community are always running each other into the ground.

So this latest exchange popped into my inbox this morning...lovely. Devorah, YOU are exactly the person Joanne and I are referring to. Your comment was utterly sick and depraved. It's people who think it's okay to use that kind of rhetoric who make life a living hell in closed communities.

Joanne -- my situation was so similar, but at a Robson community, and a newer one than the Del Webbs in Arizona. Too many inactive people moving here when they really should have gone straight to assisted living. Their driving is dangerous, whether they're behind the wheel of a car or drunkenly tooling around in their golf carts. They complain about everything. They gossip and spread rumors and lies about people. They send private hate mail to people based on the lies that are going around. They stick their fat noses into everyone's business.

Get out and move back to the city. SO much better! Smart, energetic people who are interested in culture and literature and who are active and fit. Not plotzy, dumpy old people who are bitter and resentful of younger people.

Hi Julie from Denver, I just went running on the trail here as the health club is shut down because of the Corona Virus. So I go out there and this old man told me I had better stop the jogging and this women put her hand on her hip and told me I am just showing off.

Thank you for your kind post. It's overwhelming to pay all this money for a house and realize early on I have to move, sell the house, pay the big realtor fees, pay movers. But, I made a mistake and no one knows these things until they live in these places. Yes, Devorah could not attack me fast enough. She can't do the math of how old my parents would be and goes on to say my mother must have been raped at 13 and then says I am an ageist, right after I said she would blame me for what she is doing. This is the thing too, like if they hit your car, you are the bad guy somehow. If you jog, you are the bad guy. If they attack you for no reason, no matter how vile and you can see they are lying, they blame you. I think these older people in the sheltered communities where everyone is old and everyone is white, they have no ability to take responsibility for their actions. I think it is because they have been here for 20 years, they know everyone so they can simply gossip about the newcomer and control the situation. The HOA becomes a weapon people can use to mess with you. I bet I will be hearing from the HOA that it is not okay to run on the "walking" trails soon enough. Yes, I am glad I figured this out early on and I am happy to be leaving. I'm moving to an apartment in Midtown Sacramento May 5th. I'm happy to get out of here but obviously not happy to have to put the home on the market and deal with realtors and movers and all. Are you moving out of the senior community you are living in?

Second attack post reported.

Devorah, only YOU have said such a vile thing. Only you. You make piggy rape comments, now you claim the COVID-19 virus is designed to kill old people.

The only people who shouldn't live in an ACTIVE ADULT community are people who want to prevent adults from being active. That has nothing to do with an age. That has to do with a mindset, a worldview. The problems I and Joanne are talking about have to do with that worldview, that mindset. Live where you want, do what you want. Live and let live. If you're more of a homebody, fine, but don't prevent others from being active. Gossiping is always wrong, regardless of who engages in it.

If you're not gossiping and if you're not trying to prevent others from enjoying an active lifestyle, no one is talking about you.

However, if you make filthy rape comments about people with whom you disagree, then make specious accusations based on your own ugly heart and mind, yeah, we are talking about you.

Signing out of this.

U all need to calm down in light of what is happening in the world around us. Good luck t9 all of you, Joanne May you find your niche

Del Webb runs commercials selling the 55 plus communities as active adult communities and the actors in the commercials all look like they are 50 years old. The reality is nothing like that. People should do constructive things. Keep your mind active by watching a documentary or reading a non-fiction book. Keep your body active any way you can. People can learn to dance or play pickleball or play golf or tennis or whatever. People who only want to gossip and insult people and follow people around in their cars and report people should not be living here. It's supposed to be fun and active, not mean and gossiping and run anyone out who is not 75 or up. Stay active, stay busy, take up gardening or learn line dancing or whatever you can do to benefit your body and mind. Instead of being jealous of other people, do whatever positive things you can to benefit your health and your own life. I think the 55 plus communities should put an end to the gossiping and stalking and abusive language that goes on. They should set standards where new prospective residents are told up front that no gossiping nor abusive behaviors towards other residents will be tolerated. Say something nice or don't say anything at all.

My mother had me when she was 20 so she would be 82 if she was still alive. Dementia makes people unable to think and abusive and full of rage. If you are yelling at strangers, check in with your doctor. If you are stalking strangers, making up stories about people, gossiping, defaming and slandering and harassing people, if you keep smashing up your car, if you can't not abuse strangers, go and see your doctor about dementia treatments.

I know this is a very old thread now, but I am just now coming to the age of thinking about retiring and doing my research and that's how I found this. Regarding the comments about the gossiping and busy bodies, etc... that is the most common complaint I've seen about 55+ communities.

Here's a tip I read the other day that makes a lot of sense to me - when looking for a 55+ community, if you are on the younger end of 55 and up, find a community that is brand new. That way you can age with the neighborhood as will also most of your neighbors. Most older people don't want to move again. If you find a place that is already established, you are likely also going to be around "established" residents as well.