If someone makes you mad do you tell them or ignore them?

clubm

17 years ago

If someone makes you mad do you tell them or ignore them?

do you tell them or ignore them?

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Comments (27)

yayagal
17 years ago
It all depends on who they are. If it's a family member I may let it slide because you can't judge a person on one bad day but,if it's very intense,I have been known to say "Did you enjoy saying that because I didn't enjoy hearing it" and walk away. No confrontation but an opportunity to bring the person to an awareness that what they say is not appreciated.
stargazzer
17 years ago
I am a firm believer that we have to stand up to people who hurt us. If it is family and they are rude to me, I just back away and don't go around them anymore. If it is extremely hurtful and happens repeatedly I stand up for myself. My neighbor was talking to me one day about how another friend was treating her. She couldn't figure out why she treated her badly. I told her she does it because you let her. I also ask her "haven't you noticed that I don't come around when she is there".
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dilly_dally
17 years ago
It depends whether telling them will correct the transgression.

*Leaving the bathroom "messy" - I would tell them and expect it to stop. If it did not they would cease to receive invitations to visit.

*Calling five or six times a day just to yak - I would tell them to stop calling so often for no important reason, and if they don't, I just ignore all their calls.

*Sending forwards of junk to my email - I tell them. If they don't stop I ignore them by having them blocked.

My philosophy is to tell people what they are doing that upsets me and I do expect them to respect my wishes regarding my home or personal time. If they do not listen. They get ignored and are not part of my life.

There are some things that are so heinous that it is not a matter of telling someone that they made you mad like as if they could not have figured out that their behavior is unacceptable. There is nothing to discuss. These people just get ignored.

*A boyfriend caught in a lie or cheating. Ignore. Cut them out of my life. There is nothing to "discuss" with a promise of a person "changing their ways".

*A friend who is obviously a thief. Ignore them forever.

It all depends on the situation. Some relationships cannot be saved nor do they deserve to.
Happy_Go_Lucky_Gayle
17 years ago
Well, I'm usually non-confrontational. But, if someone repeatedly offends me, I may speak up. I think about it for a couple of days before I confront them, I choose my words cautiously. So, I don't scream "F U", like I would really want too. I have to have a cooling off period.
coloredthumb
17 years ago
I'm pretty much the same as dilly_dally. One polite but firm talk about unacceptable behavior to an adult person should solve the problem. Children need reminders to become well behaved considerate adults.
I'm not "Mommy" anymore and I do not have the time nor inclination to teach adults things they should have learned in kindergarten and at home before they were allowed out in public alone.

CT
maryanntx
17 years ago
I started to say that I would ignore them. I really don't know because all the people I'm around, including friends, acquaintances and family are such wonderful people that they never do anything to make me mad. I think for one thing, I have my priorities set and something that might make one person mad doesn't even faze me because it's so low on my list of priorities in life. I just don't let little things bother me.
lynn_d
17 years ago
I don't think there is really a blanket answer, it depends on what happened, how upset I was and who is involved. And by that I mean whether or not the person is important enough in my life for me to invest time and energy. Often the answer is no and I just walk away.
loggerbaby123
17 years ago
hi all this is something that hit way too close to home..i will definately stand up for myself..but if im getting attacked fine attack me DO NOT attack my family, now granted i dont always get along with my brother never have but if someone says hes worthless or even my parents who have never wronged anyone...that just gets my dander up and the redneck kicks in..you got a beef with me i can deal with it but you bring my family in it and then..well lets just say im not pleasant! i know that sounds harsh..but theres really not a rule because everyones situation is different.
zeetera
17 years ago
Depends on whether I want to aggravate them or not.
coloredthumb
17 years ago
Zeetera,

That is priceless. LOL

CT
cynic
17 years ago
More often than not I tell them. Not a ton of things make me mad. Abusing animals, taking advantage of the elderly, criminals, etc get me mad. Usually people know it.

Another peeve of mine is punctuality - BE ON TIME or at least call and say you'll be late. And when you say you'll do something, whether it's call, come over or whatever, DO IT. I have a cousin who constantly says he wants to do things then backs out. I just told him yesterday that I was going to call to go to breakfast on Sunday but he always has an excuse so he never goes, so why bother. And I told him I went and enjoyed myself.

Some things beg the question, WHY did you do that? For instance if something is said in confidence and they spread it around or if they did something stupid or to just offend or hurt someone, I tend to ask why.

Some people get mad over nothing. And then when you try to find out what the problem is and get the well if you don't know I'm not gonna tell you... then that does get me a little peeved, but all in all I'm not thin-skinned so not a lot of things really get me mad and as I get older, I try to let less bother me anyway. Why get worked up over something insignificant?
angelaid
17 years ago
I don't say anything. And people walk all over me. *sigh*
ann_in_florida
17 years ago
I usually let them know...in a subtle kind of way.
glenda_al
17 years ago
I generally don't say anything, but I have my ways of showing it.
trinitytx
17 years ago
Not usually, I try and stay very calm and cool, so they probably wonder what I am up to.
It takes a lot to make me mad, and I do mean a lot!
I will stick up for myself, if needed, but mostly I find
tacky people like this more bother than it is worth.
I just move on.
Forgive? yes. Forget. never

Trin
helencolby
17 years ago
It depends on so many factors. The closeness of the relationship, the circumstances. And also the degree of anger. So many variables that I just cannot come up with a single answer to cover so many variables.

Helen
lindaohnowga
17 years ago
Mad as in extremely angry, furious....you bet the person gets told. I will not tolerate disrespect toward me or my family or stealing and that person is out of my life for good.
zeetera
17 years ago
CT, lol. It's not easy out there.
sue_va
17 years ago
It takes an awful lot to make me mad. I can't remember the last time I was mad at anyone.

If there is some kind of situation that calls for a response I will "kill them with kindness." It is just so satisfying.

Sue
des_arc_ya_ya
17 years ago
I'm a lot more likely to take up for a friend or a family member than myself, but I am waaaay so much better about that as I get older!! LOL

If it's something little involving me - naw....it's not worth getting upset over. Life's too short for little trivial stuff.
wildchild
17 years ago
I never let anyone walk over me but whether I say or do something depends on who or what.

Some people just aren't worth the energy it takes to straighten them out. Others aren't worth going to jail for. LOL

Sometimes my silence speaks volumes more than any words. "Ignore" is more hurtful to self-centered idiots than saying something. Or I'll say just a little and walk away.
rthummer
17 years ago
Someone I care about..I tell them I am mad.

Someone I don't care about...I ignore them.
frostedc
17 years ago
Yes, I would tell them.
Angry is usually hurt feelings. By saying, "I find our statement hurtful," would let them know, how I felt, without being confrontational.
susanjf_gw
17 years ago
have a couple of sils who i bite my tongue all the time. first off it doesn't do a bit of good to "tell", and second you know who would suffer more, my dd's...
lyndy_pa
17 years ago
I try to discuss things if it is family and close friends. If it is someone else, I will just advoid them. I am not good at confrontation. I wish I was better.
neesie
17 years ago
This is too broad of a question to answer! I've had a hard time thinking of examples of people making me mad. Some people frustrate me at work, and those situations have to be handled tactfully.

I am not an attacker; but I don't like to be walked on, either. I learned some valuable points in a negotiation class the most important was TIME AND PLACE. I will sometimes hold my tongue and find that I can be more civil the next day. Always be honest and listen when that person has their chance to talk. You have to have an idea of how you'd like to resolve the issue and give the offender a chance to go that route or suggest another.
joyfulguy
17 years ago
If I let you make me mad ... I'm giving you too much control over my life, and I like to be in charge of it.

If someone causes me hurt, I usually try to let them know, as diplomatically as I can.

Depends somewhat on the circumastances, how important the person is to me, etc.

It takes quite a lot to make me really angry.

ole joyful

If someone makes you mad do you tell them or ignore them?

Comments (27)

yayagal

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