Who here suffers from........................

18 years ago

"Empty Nest Syndrome".

I sure do, my girls have been gone now for nearly 4 years, I so miss not having the activity around the house. I miss not looking after them.

I now do a lot of work with seniors, looking after their needs, but it is not the same.

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Comments (12)

alisande
18 years ago
I do, although my nest can probably be considered "semi-empty" because my son comes over several times a week to work on the property and help out in other ways. My daughter lives less than 45 minutes away. So I'm lucky. But I think I'll always miss the years when the house was full, and we were a family of five.
azzalea
18 years ago
While I'm an 'empty nester', I certainly don't suffer from it.

I always looked at parenting as having the goal of making yourself obsolete. If you do your 'job' right, your children eventually turn into self-sufficient, self-supporting, independent, happy adults. So when they leave home and successfully make lives for themselves, it's YOUR graduation day--a pat on the back for a job well done.

I never was the kind of parent who spent all my time catering to my daughter--generally I was encouraging her to do for herself, so it's not as if I have a giant hole in my day.

I'm too happy to see DD making a niche for herself as a medical professional, too delighted that she--a single woman--has been able to buy and maintain a home of her own. No room for feeling sorry for myself. We do see her at least a couple of times a week--and that's lovely, of course. But on a daily basis? I'm too busy building the rest of my life to be mourning the fact that DD isn't here all the time

I don't want anyone to take this the wrong way. But in the last year, DD left home to move into her own condo--a wonderful thing. A few months later, my mom died (I was her caregiver for the past dozen years)--a very sad thing, of course. Still, I can't deny that I'm really enjoying my new-found freedom. For the first time in a very long time, I can live my life for me and my husband--I don't have a lot of heavy responsibilities for others bearing down on me every day. I'm enjoying the freedom of being an empty nester.
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ronf_gw
18 years ago
Very well said, azzalea.

4 of our 5 have left the nest. The youngest is finishing the 9th grade this week. Looking ahead 3 years I have mixed emotions, but, overall I, like azzalea, am looking forward to the freedom of being an empty nester. It gives me a sense of accomplishment to see the other 4 being well adjusted, productive members of society.

Ron
lindyluwho
18 years ago
I had that when DD was a junior in High School and was still at home! (I got an early start.) By the time she moved out in college I was ok with it. She lives 4 hours away and I miss her but I am thrilled she has a good life and is happy.

Linda
OklaMoni
18 years ago
No, sure don't any more. I did for a bout a year. Then I joined a couple of clubs/organzations, and been to busy since.

Moni
susie53_gw
18 years ago
I agree with Azzelea. Our kids have been out and on their own for 10 years and longer. Our goal was to get them educated and on their own. They all waited until they were 30 before they married. We now have 4 grandkids and love it. They all live within a 30 minute drive from us.

Some years ago I read this small verse on raising kids. It is like we rasied ours. It goes. IT IS NOT WHAT YOU DO FOR YOUR CHILDREN BUT WHAT YOU HAVE TAUGHT THEM TO DO FOR THEMSELVES THAT WILL MAKE THEM SUCCESSFUL HUMAN BEINGS. This is so true..-Our kids were taught to respect themselves as well as others. There were consequences for their actions whatever they were. Some things, like cars when they become of driving age, are privileges, not a given... Our kids often talk about how they were raised. They are all grateful..

If you are an empty nester, enjoy it.. There are so many things to do in life. I enjoy flowers and just being outside on sunny days.. I have shared all my flowers with my girls and they have beautiful yards. I take pride in knowing they are somewhat like me... Hubby is now retired and we are enjoying life..
good36
18 years ago
enjoyingspring,
I totally understand what you mean. I loved the activity in the house! My kids both live at home yet but work full time jobs and have social lives. They are just about ready to leave the nest and I dread it.

As stated by azzalea
"If you do your 'job' right, your children eventually turn into self-sufficient, self-supporting, independent, happy adults"

We did raise our kids to be just as quoted above. But.....

I still miss the old days with the active house and friends coming and going.

I will miss them something awful when they leave.
Judy
ruthieg__tx
18 years ago
I whole heartedly agree with azzalea......I did my time and I was disappointed when she left the nest but I knew it was her time and I wanted it for her...I have never had a moment when I needed her back....I see women often who are defined only by their children and grandchildren and it saddens me...
marilyn_c
18 years ago
Yep, Ruthie...it ain't me either. I am happy the way she turned out...I am glad she's doing well and I see her often.
I am happy to be having my own life. It could be because I was childless by choice for 15 years. I was always used to doing my own thing.
socks
18 years ago
They say we need to give our kids roots and wings, and when they finally do fly away, we miss them because we love them. We do them no favor by clinging to them. My kids are very considerate and call often. They know I love to hear from them.
irishdancersgram
18 years ago
We had 5 kids and it was a very busy, active household..I felt sad as each left home, really sad when the last left, BUT I don't suffer any more...Each are married with families, all have good jobs and have a very good life...I now do alot of volunteer work, have time for long lunches with friends and although I sometimes miss the hectic times, I love my life now....I think it's that natural maternal instinct to have "ENS".....
teresava
18 years ago
My nest is too full right now I dream about when they leave the nest! lol

Teresa-mommy to Olivia 3.5 and Katie 6 weeks

Who here suffers from........................

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alisande

azzalea

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