I spent yesterday evening with a friend of mine. Due to her encouragement I talked about my mother.

It's really no good memories... or thoughts from here. She was/is a mean woman, that I prefer not to think about.

On the other hand, I had a nice chat with my daughter far away, and spent the morning and early afternoon with my daughter that lives nearby.

Both very enjoyable.

However, besides wishes of my childhood having been different... I do enjoy reading others nice memories.

Moni

Marilyn, I enjoyed reading the memories of your mother :)

My mother came into our lives when I was 4 yrs old, my sister was 5, my brother 3...she was 19.
She was our protector, confidante, breadwinner and most of all the best cheerleader any child could want. Her grandchildren thought she walked on water.

She was diagnosed with Alzheimer's at the young age of 54. And passed 10 years ago last month.
If not for that selfless woman, who knows what would have happened to three urchins who's biological mother walked away. I miss her something fierce.

I lost my mom last June.
She was a lot of fun.
She worked in a school and the exterminator came because the place was crawling with roaches. Some of the people were upset more about the dead bugs than the fact they were there to start with.
Mom gathered up some bugs and made a bug cemetery complete with little tombstones.
Another time, she had a huge stuffed rabbit - people size. She sat him on a toilet in the teacher's lounge.
Mom was 78 when cancer finally took her after 10 years of fighting. She was cremated at her demands - she said if we had a proper funeral she would haunt us forever.
Many people that age have lost their friends, but when we had her "remembrance of her life" picnic, it was a wonderful time because so many people were there. They had to walk down the hill to the pavilion and I was thrilled to see everyone coming down the walkway.
I still hear from her friends now and then saying how much they miss her too.
I was so blessed to have her for my mom. She never had it easy, but she never gave up either.
I tell everyone, when I am gone, don't weep for me because I'll be hugging mom again and we'll both be laughing.
Kathy

My mother grew up a daughter of a poor minister. Her mother taught her how to live well but frugally. Both of them were great cooks. She died when I was 12. I can still picture my mother kneading dough. She made all our yeast bread. The neighbor kids could smell the bread baking and come over in hopes of getting some bread fresh from the oven. No other mothers on our block baked the family's bread. She baked loaves of bread and clover leaf rolls for dinner.

This was the 1940s, and in the cold Midwest. We were allergic to wool, so we did not have any sweaters. However, nylon was developed during WWII; after the war, nylon yarn became available before there were any commercially knit nylon sweaters. Therefore, Mother set about knitting sweaters for all of us to wear that winter. I remember anxiously awaiting for MY sweater to come off her needles.

Excerpt from what I have written about my mother on my website:

My mother 6/13/1882-10/28/1969

Marriage, children, good times, Depression, bad times. That's where I came along. Personal memory of my mother seems to be a composite of all the little memories. She laughed. She whistled. She sang hymns as she worked. She taught us songs like "Pony Boy." "A Bicycle Built for Two," "Daisy, Daisy." She spent evenings with me and my sisters, embroidering pillowcases and dresser scarves. She would not wear slacks or a bathing suit. She disliked her name. When she had her long hair cut she was so embarrassed she wrapped a towel around her head when it was time for Daddy to come home from work. She listened to Stella Dallas on the radio. With the coming of television she became a soap opera fan. She pampered her sons. She loved shopping and going to the movies with her girls. Still grieved over her first baby girl who only lived three days. Packed up and moved many times when Daddy found greener pastures, because, she said, she had promised to go with him "to the jumping off place." I sometimes saw her sad. I never saw her angry. She cooked good solid food, nothing fancy. Loved a little taste of blackberry wine, "for the stomach's sake." Had panic attacks when her sons were off in the war; knew instinctively when one was wounded in action. Was kissed by her children every time they left or returned home. Was always respected by my father.

(I was the last of ten children.)

Sue

I could write volumes on my mom and our relationship, I think one day I will. She was my conscious, my protector, my judgementer but most of all my very best friend I have ever had. The first day she didn't know who I was broke my heart. We had been alone together since I was 12, I have never felt so abandoned . I miss her every day. I still pick up the phone to call her to "watch the news" together . She wore a butterfly pin every day, I had hundreds of them in my yard today, my friend said there's your mom.

I am like Moni...only some good ones survive, usually amist groups of fun people. However, I have decided that 'that is what she knew', and some of her meanness was developed to protect herself from seeing her faults. (And our own faults are often the hardest to acknowledge, so now, I find people just like her sometimes in my life and I ask myself "what am I supposed to learn here?")

My mother was not treated well when she was a child. She was given away when she was four years old. I don't know the exact circumstances....how much it was discussed or anything like that. She was illegitimate....and I am sure that was much more frowned upon when she was born in 1904 than it is now. She said she was playing in a ditch in front of her house and a well to do man in the community drove by in his wagon. He asked her mother to give her to him. And she did.

Like I said...I don't know how much thought went into that...or anything else about it, but she had a very difficult childhood and was treated more like a servant. She was never legally adopted and didn't inherit anything from that family. I do know that it stayed with her forever. The last words she ever said to me were, "When I was four years old, my mother gave me away." She was 97 and had been bedridden for several years. She didn't know anyone....didn't talk very much. But that was the last words she ever said to me.

I am often surprised at how motherly she turned out to be, not having a good role model. So, I know it can be done, and Moni and those who didn't have a close relationship with your mothers, I think it is wonderful that you were able to over come that and have a close bond with your children.

Wow! I love reading everyone's stories! As I've posted before, I just lost my mom 5 weeks ago. After reading these posts, it just reiterates to ome that I was a very lucky daughter! And I agree with Marilyn; I'm glad to see that women (like Moni) can overcome a sad childhood and become excellent mothers themselves! And Marilyn, that is to funny about your mom when you lifted your shirt! LOL Thanks for the chuckle!

Mom wasn't a housekeeper. Had a bit of a hoarder tendency I think, but she was always happy, and never complained even after a stroke at age 80 that left her in a wheelchair for the 12 years left of her life. No matter when I called, she would answer the phone laughing. She also loved to sing and would break out into song just anytime...right in the middle of a meal if something triggered a familiar song. Her beautiful alto voice singing harmony with the base of my Dad or my own soprano will forever ring in my ears when I think of her.

The day before Mother's Day in 2002 as I was wrapping a gift in preperation for the 120 trip to visit with her for the weekend, the phone call came that Mom had been rushed into surgery for an obstructed bowel. It was touch and go for 2 weeks at the hospital. Then she was well enough to be transferred to a nursing home. She was there 2 days when her heart could take no more. We had been there with her that afternoon. Said our goodbyes and I love yous and will be back next week and left for our 120 mile trip to home and jobs. The phone message that she was gone was waiting for us when we arrived home.

I have wonderful memories of my mom....
braiding my hair so tight I had to stay awake at school
stirring pots of jelly in the kitchen in the summer when the temperature was over 100 degrees
working in the garden early in the morning
teaching me to sew and to knit even though she would have preferred some alone time
smiling and saying hello to strangers
rocking me to sleep
holding her cool hands to my forehead when I was sick
and many more.
She died at 59 when I was 29......I miss her every day.

My mother sang all the time too, Gazania. Hymns. Sometimes I find myself doing that and I have to stop and smile. The songs I remember from my childhood, going to church every Sunday, but the singing them around the house....that definitely reminds me of my mother.

Marilyn, my Mom sang mostly Hymns also. Whispering Hope or I Come to the Garden Alone are the ones I hear her singing when I dream of her.

My mother was an only child, as was my father.
They both wanted a large family, there where 4 of us kids - me the oldest.

Best story about her:
She got my father to teach her to drive, passed the written test, and then they went down for her driving test. She didn't pass, and was so mad that she told the motor vehicle people she would never be back.
She never got that driver's license.

Memories of mommy:

Singing us to sleep when we were little.

Walking by her side as we walked the mile to the community pool in the summer with her pulling our Flexible Flyer wagon with the younger kids in it.

Loving summer days when she would say "want a cherry Pie?", and gave us a bowl to run outside to the cherry tree to pick them. In late August, it was grape pie with grapes we picked from the grape vine in the yard. Boy, they were good pies.

She was a 1950's stay at home mother, PTA and volunteer work was her recreation. When my youngest sibling went went into HS, she brushed up on her stenography and typing and went out and landed a job as a private secretary - at a large oil company - and worked there for many years, retiring a couple of years after daddy.

She was some woman, and we lost her 5 years ago.

My mother sang Precious Memories and I love to hear that sung by Emmy Lou Harris.

Here is a link that might be useful: Precious Memories

The only thing I can say is my Mom (and Dad) did the best they could. They married late in life, and had us late. Never played sports with us, never allowed us to do housework, cook etc, but Dad did let me work in the garage, and clean up tools and put things together and encourage me to work in the garden--That was his pride and joy. I loved visiting with relatives--Mom hated it--I guess I just grew up without any boundaries or guidance but what I did get was from my grandparents. Was not allowed to work in HS, did go to college but wrong major, just alot of bad memories, but I do have some good ones. That is what I am trying to remember.