You are best to go introduce yourself to the kitchen forum, and post your dimensions (read their thread: "NEW to kitchens, read me first" (or something)). And, they will totally help you out in ways the remodeling forum only kind of can (lots of crossover, but the kitchen people really hang out on kitchens). Also, when you do post there, don't reply to your own thread before someone else does; otherwise your thread will drop down. As long as it is "unanswered" it stays on the first page. But, if you do as you did here, your post will drop down and because that is a very busy forum, it may get "lost"... So, best to get everything on one post, then wait for someone to reply before you any details you forgot.

I feel for you. This guy sounds pretty shady, and, unfortunately, you are new to this experience and too trusting. Most of the contractors I've worked with, even those whose work itself was good, have disappointed me in one way or another. I don't know any homeowner who doesn't feel this way. They start out like first dates, all eager to please, but then they gradually reveal their real, usually unpleasant, selves. I can't tell you how many times I've heard variations on the "tiler had a baby" excuse. People have babies. People get sick. Floods, snow, and hurricanes happen. Most people at most jobs would get fired if they kept using such excuses for missing work or not finishing on time. And though I've had quality work done by a contractor who didn't pull permits, I don't recommend it. Permit requirements vary state to state, and maybe even more locally. If he does have a license, complaints to the issuing authority may provide some recourse, but I'm not knowledgeable about this. I wouldn't worry about trying to win him over. If he's not trying to win you over, he's probably taking advantage of you and your niceness. Expecting him to change is like an abused wife who believes her husband when he says he'll change, or even worse, that the beating is her fault. This is an expensive lesson, but many of us have paid a lot more to learn to be more cautious. And just ignore the other contractors here who just want to blame you and brag about themselves.

This is such an interesting question. We are also DIYers and bought property to build our own house on. We even talked about doing it a decade ago and it didn’t work out. Can I say I’m SO GLAD it didn’t work out when we were younger and less experienced homeowners? We did what @cpartist said - bought a fixer upper (two, actually) and lived in them for the last decade, fixing them as we go and learning technical skills, space planning, where to splurge and where to cut costs, etc. If we had built right away a decade ago we would have had a MUCH INFERIOR house over what we can build now. From a living standpoint and fit and finish, both. Currently we are in the second fixer upper as our temporary/investment property that we are fixing and living in during the build we will start next year. This gives us a staging ground so he time pressure is off us to get it done faster than we can afford. It’s also let us test out everything from cabinetry join methods to drywall finish, tile setting, pulling new wire and redoing an electrical panel, multiple types of plumbing and HVAC repairs and installs, even furniture building and cut/install of molding and trim. This is our low stakes test house. And we can rent or sell it once we move, so sweat equity will pay dividends that will help cover our mortgage costs for the new place. I highly recommend doing it this way. Life and priorities change over the years, as do skills and finances. There is a reason even most of us diehard DIYers don’t start out with the ‘dream house build’ :)

Perhaps here isn't the best place for ideas when on a budget. In my world 25k is a HUGE amount for a kitchen update. But DH would do/did all our labor so I am bias. Leaving the lay out as is, I would look into replacing the door/drawer fronts. Chances are pretty good the cabinet bases you have are much sturdier and better built than anything new one would purchase. Materials have gotten much thinner, old growth wood is stronger etc. OLD IS BETTER from a construction point of view in most cases!! I love the windows in your kitchen. What does it look like from the outside? Yes the slider can be replaced by a french door combo where only the left side opens I DID IT I KNOW!. We did ours for energy efficiency and ease of opening. Remember the swing of the door is a space eater. Counter eating is all the rage but not great for little kids...where are you at with children and a dining room? We extended our counter top, it's easy to do. I agree you probably don't want to extend it in front of the glass but I bet the entire door can be made smaller but this will run into outside siding/painting costs...a french door and free standing counter top table may be least expensive easiest to do. It will be cheapest to find a french door the size of your present opening. A custom cabinet maker- could retro yours to accommodate a microwave but for the money putting one over the stove would be easiest, cheapest. They come with exhaust fans built in. Your lay out now looks very open, modern, new counter tops alone would change the look a lot!! Stand firm on your budget and resolve to freshen your space. Not everyone gets around to a full gutting of a kitchen!! Don't let what you hope to do be side tracked by things you can't/don't want to afford. In the end you don't get your money out of a full gut anyway!!!