How I spent Memorial Day eve....

11 years ago

Yesterday I was fixing my lunch when something on the sliding screen door to the patio caught my eye. I'm a little near-sighted, so I couldn't see what, exactly until I moved a little closer...and IT moved...

It was a big ol' UGLY lizard. Not a poisonous one, I'm pretty sure, but WAY bigger than the little 3 or 4-inch long geckos that live around here. Dam' thing had to be almost a foot long (including tail) and as big around as a Polish sausage. We've been seeing them in the neighborhood, but DH says don't worry, they'll never come in our yard, we have dogs. Yeah. Right.

I said to myself, okay, as long as it's outside, I can deal with this... BUT IT WAS INSIDE!!!!

I'm not exactly afraid of lizards, but anything that jumps (and they do!) spooks me. I was sure it was going to jump off the door and disappear into the bedroom, where we'd never find it until I woke up some night and found it cuddled up next to me to keep warm. (It's been cool at night here recently.) I couldn't get past it to close the bedroom door because every time I moved, It moved.

I almost never call my husband at work, but this was as good a reason as I needed. I told him, "You gotta come home! You gotta come home! One o' those BIG lizzards we've been seeing is IN THE HOUSE!"

He works a five-minute drive away, but I kid you not, those were the longest 5 minutes I've spent in a good many years. He comes in, puts on leather gloves in case it bites, just saunters up to it and grabs it!

THEN he stands there talking to it like it was a house pet.

I'm yelling "Take it out! Take it out!" I was sure it was going to just wriggle out of his hands. But it didn't. He took it out to the arroyo behind our house and turned it loose.

Lord! I had the heebee-geebees for hours. So I'm hoping nothing quite so...exciting happens again for a while.

Remember those Taco Bell commercials a few years ago that had the little talking Chihuahua? They made some promotional toys that said different things. I have the one that says "Here lizard, lizard" (from the commercial where he's using a taco as bait in a box-trap and a big ol' dinosaur appears. Then he says, "Uh-oh, I think I need a bigger box...") It used to be my favorite toy. I'm going to give it away.

Cheers,

J

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Comments (9)

nanny98
11 years ago
Oh Dear....I would have been just like you. Even smaller things give me the heebee jeebees. Glad he is gone and you had a good night!
matti5
11 years ago
I would have been standing on a table screaming lol. Thank goodness your DH was close by. My DH would have also carried on a conversation with the lizard, but doubtful the lizard would have heard it over my non-stop screams.
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ravencajun Zone 8b TX
11 years ago
oh yea I would have been doing the dance, the same one I do when one of those giant flying roaches makes it way from out in the trees to in side with me, or when I see a snake anywhere in my vicinity or a spider, yep that size lizard would definitely be cause to do the dance. Along with the dance comes some strange unworldly sound emitting from my mouth I have no idea how it happens but it does as soon as the dance starts que the freaky sound effects.

My dog totally freaks out when I go into this display and my husband well by now he knows to immediately come running with the flyswatter or a shoe, in some cases he should have brought the gun instead!

I feel your pain! and your heebee jeebees too.
pammyfay
11 years ago
Oh that would freak me out to!
The palmetto bugs (flying cockroaches) that I used to see in Miami Beach many years back when I lived there grossed me out. I once saw a really large one crossing the parking lot to get to work. My co-worker said I looked like I was going to pass out!
Now my sister has a condo in Florida, and everytime she and her husband go there for the season, they know now they'll see little lizard skeletons. There's also been one or two that have gotten into the house, and it takes a while to see it and catch it.

BUT JANNAZ: Your last paragraph made my laugh out loud! That Chihuahua would probably be no match for your lizard!
kayjones
11 years ago
Yep - they are scary! I saw one in the yard recently - I'm not afraid of much, but I moved away and fast. Those are really, REALLY creepy!!! We don't want to talk about Palmetto bugs - those are about the nastiest things I have EVER seen! They get into my house once in a while and die - just disgusting!
yayagal
11 years ago
My sister in Tn. woke up one night feeling something moving next to her body, she felt it and there was fur and she grabbed it and threw it across the room and got up and ran out, slamming the door. Her DH was away on business and she sat up all night and the next night until her got home. Took them all day to find it and "it", a squirrel was in a kitchen cabinet behind the coffee (we refer to him as Mr. Coffee now) Husband put on the gloves with a host of people watching and Mr Coffee got free so all hell broke out hahahaha. Eventually they cornered him behind the couch. The dog Lily was going crazy, to me this was all very funny. DH grabbed him again and took him to the woods across the street, of course we've videoed all this, let him go and the damn critter turned on him and bit him and refused to leave so we all walked away. Half an hour later we're sitting around and we hear Lily barking like mad, DH goes out and theres Mr. Coffee cornered by Lily and he's trying to scratch his way back in the house. The time he went for a looooooooong ride in the car and was released. It took my sister a long time to get rid of the feeling of a squirrel in bed with her. She closes the door at night now. lol
carol_in_california
11 years ago
As long as it wasn't a Gila Monster, I would be happy to have a lizard in my house. I wouldn't let it stay inside but I would love to have some in my yard. They are great for eating insects.
I did see a small one on our fence recently....probably eating the preying mantises who are also great for keeping bad bugs down.
notjannaz10
Original Author
11 years ago
Note to Carol...

When I lived in Tombstone, I had "house lizards". They, however, were tiny little things. They were welcome because they ate "waterbugs"--nasty roach-y looking things that came up through the bathtub drain. Every so often, I'd have to scoop up some lizard-poop, but that was WAY better than waterbugs!

I have no love for Gila monsters, either. One of them got cross-wise of my mama hen and her brood and I guess she not only pecked it to death, but they ate the carcass!

J
susanjf_gw
11 years ago
i'm sure glad i wasn't drinking anyting when i started reading your post! lol lol

i thought it was bad when we had racoons in the house...

How I spent Memorial Day eve....

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How I spent Memorial Day eve....

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