To feel that way is only natural, but really the best is yet to come..you get to see them all become real adults and you get to see the benefit of all the years that you dedicated to them...If the truth be known, life after kids is sweeter than anything you have already experienced...You are free of the day to day responsibility and while you will still worry...it won't be the same...You obviously did a good job so now you can cry or feel it for a day or so and then move on to a new an wonderful phase of your life...It's all good.

It's been a lot of years since my youngest moved on into the world on her own, but reading your post brought back all the familiar feelings. I'll send you a hug, a tissue, and as soon as I go to the store, some chocolate. Most of all, you have my empathies. I wish your daughter all the best....sounds like she's had a good home life to give her what she needs to head out on her own.

Shirley

Thanks guys, I know this is normal and I know it will be fine and that this is the beginning of probably the best time in my life, but today I'm at that place where you just have to wallow and cry and have a little pity party, and then things will be okay again. I keep reminding myself of all the times I dreamed of having a clean house (that stayed clean) and time to do the things I want to do, and all the other great things that come with having raised the kids and sent them on their merry way. I'm at the wallowing hole right now, but by this time tomorrow I may be making plans to paint DDs room as soon as her skinny little butt leaves for her new life.

(((Curlysue)))

My only child left for college last fall and I thought it'd be much harder than it was. She was an hour and a half away too, but managed to come home most weekends (to do laundry lol) and she's home now for the summer.

I just have a lot more "me" time to fill.

If an empty house really bothers you, look into being a foreign exchange student host. We did it a couple years ago and it was a wonderful experience (although we weren't completely happy with the student we got). You don't have to have a child in school to host and you can choose the student you want based on their country and application.

(((((((((((((CurlySue))))))))))))

There's your hug, most all of us have been through what you're feeling now. Feel the feelings, then let them go, you've done a good job raising your children, now let them go out into the world and apply your teachings to their new, adult lives. It has to be so exciting (and a little scary) for your DD as she takes her first steps away from her Mother. You'll be there to encourage her every step of the way, as you've done thus far. Ruthie is right, life after the children leave home is very sweet.

All this is coming from a sap that cried at her youngest grandson's Kindergarten graduation this week. LOL

It has been a long time since my youngest flew the nest.

After a while everything will seem normal again and you will have a different aspect toward things. You are lucky to have your Mom to spend time with.

Sounds like you have done it right: Give your children roots and wings. Congratulations!

This is all the chocolate I have right now.

Sue

((((((hugs)))))). I know how hard it must be to let her go. OMG, my dd#1 is only graduating from 8th grade and moving to high school and I get teary eyed just thinking about it!

Good luck to you dd who, I am sure, will make her mark on the world.

Donna

I have my special stash of Lindor Truffles...come sit by me and I'll share and I always have a hug...

I still have two years to go before my baby leaves me...but it makes my stomach turn knots to even think about it...

((((Curly))))

Well my house will not really be empty-we have 2 dogs and a cat to help fill the void-these pets belonged to the kids and as the kids left we wouldn't let them take the fur kids. Right or wrong the fur kids stay.

I'm a big sap too. I cried reading your post-just seconds after laughing out loud over another thread. I'm an emotional mess. No telling what will happen the day she leaves for college.

Thanks so much everyone. I am starting to feel better. I think. The chocolate seems to be working.

Oh, Curlysue! You sure stated eloquently what a LOT of us moms have felt (or will!).

I took a bottle of wine the summer before my DS started his senior year and killed it! LOL Still cried like a fool when he graduated. Was a little better when DD graduated, but not much. I KNEW she was gonna graduate, for sure! LOL

Take some time, cry a little, eat some chocolate and be extemely proud of what you and your DH have accomplished in raising kids.

Twinkie cried the other day because one of our DGDs will be at junior high next year. I told him to remember that if she wasn't going to be - that would be mean that there was something wrong with her mentally, etc.- to be thankful that she was healthy and growing up. (Yeah, right, I know!!! LOL)

Curly, yes, a chapter is over, but like all of your babys life, a new and exciting one is opening.

Just try to rejoice in that knowledge.

But, meanwhile, what kind of chocolate do you like? I got quite a stash of dark chocolate with whole hazelnuts. :)

Moni

I agree with all the others. You have things that will keep you busy. Your mom, working full time, etc. I think part of the feeling is "Is it over already?" Nope, just that chapter. Now you'll have lots of time to do other things. Take trips on the weekend, doing things with your SO and your Mom, hobbies, and such.
So, have your pity party today. I don't have any chocolate to share but here's a hug. ((((CurlySue))))
Leslie

Curlysue, I can understandyou being sad, but try to put things in perspective. Being that my only daughter was killed 10 years ago, I would give anything in the world if I could have seen her graduate from college and be on her own starting a brand new life. I know it's sad and when you haven't experienced what I have, I can understand what you are feeling. Just try to remind yourself that she is healthy, happy, and you can still see her when you want to.
I wouldn't mind Christin living across the world, then at least I could know that I could see her again when I really wanted to.
Lu

Here is a link that might be useful: Christin Cosby Memorial Website

Curlysue, you will get used to an empty nest and learn to love it. A friend in CA and I laugh about when we both were facing the empty nest and how much we worried about how we would handle it. Dreading it is worse than experiencing it.

Thank you, all of you. Today is a better day. I know today it is what it is. DD is growing up and finding her way and I am so proud of the young lady that she has become and I am happy and excited about this new chapter in her life. I was just a little sad because I might not be as important in this chapter as I have been in the past.

Lu, I'm sorry about your daughter, and yes I am very lucky that my daughter will only be a phone call away. Thank you

"I was just a little sad because I might not be as important in this chapter as I have been in the past."

CurlySue, you will be just as important in this next step, maybe even moreso, in a different way, but just as important.

((((((((((((Curly)))))))))))))

I'm a weeper: Almost every time I say goodbye to one of my six kids, I stand in the driveway, weeping and waving, and everybody laughs at me. The thing is, I see them frequently enough, but I still always weep like an idiot. They don't need me anymore, sob,sob,sob.

I bawled my eyes out a week ago when the youngest graduated from college. Hubby and the older kids said it was from relief that finally the tuition payments were over, but it wasn't just that. She's off on a new life that, from my perspective, doesn't include me the way it always has. She wants to go to AUSTRALIA for pete's sake!!! After the party at our house, when all the kids had returned to their own homes, I was exhausted from all the weeping and waving, yet proud of our lovely bunch of coconuts.

If I had my way, I'd be in the center of the family compound, my childrens' homes all within arms reach, dispensing wise advice, cookies and hugs to our kids and dozens of grandchildren, cooking, tending, interfering.

Wallow and cry, Curly. You'll feel better soon, and then you'll run out of time to do all the things you want to do. She does need you, and always will. I still rely on my mom for things, and I'm 60! You did a good job raising kids who love you. I hope you can buck up, though, and don't spend as much time in the driveway weeping and waving as I do.

Sherry

Sherry, your post made me laugh and cry. My son lives in Chicago and he comes home 3 or 4 times a year, and every time he leaves I stand in the driveway waving and crying like a fool. Thank goodness all the other kids live within a few miles of us.

I really hated it when people told me I would get over it. I was missing my girls! for heavens sake.

So, be miserable, wallow in it, and then pull yourself back up by your bootstraps, and do something new. :)

It's ok to miss her!

Moni

Oh I could just cry - nevermind I already am. That is the day I dread most of all. I've been pouting all day because my baby is finishing elementary school today. Isn't that silly? The last day of elementary school is much harder than the first day of Kindergarten for me, but know one else seems to understand.
It is all going by so fast, I don't know how in the world I will manage in a quiet house one day. I hope DH and I still like each other then.

BIG (((((HUGS)))))

Oh carp, I know I have a candy bar around here some place. I split it with you.

Do what I do - eat a lot of chocolate. It really does help! "Chocolate is full of mood-enhancing chemicals, which is a carbohydrate and triggers the release of seratonin."

This is not meant to bring you down, but there is a flip side of the coin. My only child, DS is almost 24, will never leave home because he has Autism. I do wonder what it would be like to have a child go out into the world, go to college, get a career, get married and have children. I must admit a part of me envies you seeing your child grow up and become the person she was meant to be. Wish you and her the best!
Clare