Happy Mother's Day everybody, I hope you all have a lovely day!

My Mom taught me to APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE -

"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside, I just finished cleaning!"

My Mom taught me RELIGION -

"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

My Mom taught me about TIME TRAVEL -

"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

My Mom taught me LOGIC -

"Because I said so, that's why."

My Mom taught me FORESIGHT -

"Make sure you wear clean underwear in case you're in an accident."

My Mom taught me IRONY -

"Keep laughing and I'll give you something to cry about."

My Mom taught me about the science of OSMOSIS -

"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"

My Mom taught me about CONTORTIONISM -

"Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck!"

My Mom taught me about STAMINA -

"You'll sit there ''till all that spinach is finished."

My Mom taught me about WEATHER -

"It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."

My Mom taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS -

"If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you, would you listen then?"

My Mom taught me about HYPOCRISY -

"If I've told you once, I've told you a million times... Don't Exaggerate!!!"

My Mom taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE -

"I brought you into this world and I can take you out."

My Mom taught me about ENVY -

"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"

My Mom taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION -

"Stop acting like your father!"