You know, this is just hearbreaking, and I have to honestly say, I have done what this family did -which was to let people come to the house as long as my husband was home. We've never let them IN the house, but still, now I realize what a risk it is even to let them come here. Obviously if someone pulled a gun on us and said, "Open the door," then they'd be IN the house. Poor family... I guess the only real safe option is to meet in a public, well populated spot.

OMG, I hadn't heard this story! How incredibly tragic and sad. My heart goes out to that family. Thanks for the reminder, Jen. We all need to be more careful.
Lynn

I'm very leery of letting people I don't know into my house. I would never try to sell something valuable that way. I even felt this way about selling through classified ads in the newspaper back in the Dark Ages -- and I bet things like this happened then, too.

I once met a guy in a local park to buy some Navajo pottery from him. He lived out of town, but had some long tale to tell about coming back through town to attend a wedding, stating that he would meet me at a park (where there is not much traffic) and we'd exchange his pottery for my money there. I was very leery, and against my better judgment I went to the park at the agreed upon time. Thank goodness, this guy was legit. He was just a nice guy there with his wife, with some beautiful Navajo pieces that I was only too happy to make mine. We exchanged a few pleasantries and went on our way.

I would never do that again. Even meeting in a public place, I would always be sure to have my husband along with me - although my husband knew where I was when I was at the park. Still, you never know the true intent of others, and it's always better to be safe than sorry.

I always call my neighbor when I have someone coming over to see something listed on CL--especially if it's a man...and she's done the same thing. So far I've been lucky--no wierdos.

Wow that put tears in my eyes...especially when she said he died protecting his family. How terribly sad and senseless. Breaks my heart.

Geez I have let so many people in my house and I have entered (alone) into so many houses for Craiglist exchanges. Time for a new plan I think.

Thanks for sharing.

OMG, DH has never wanted me to sell items on craig's list or even in our local paper, never wanting to invite strangers to our home. I always thought he was overly cautious and sometimes we got into arguments about it. Now I see his point.

We used to sell our cars from classified ads. Never again. No one knows who answers ads. Now we use ebay and we're waiting for wired funds to make it to our bank. The car will be picked up on a transporter and taken "up north". The risks associated with "in person" deals are intolerable.

Luckily we live in a smaller town. When a local guy advertised on Craigslist a carved parrot picture, my husband stopped by his house, paid $15 bucks for it, and I sent it on to a friend (who owns 6 parrots).

I dont sell much from my home on CL, but of course advertise lots of my "booth" items there and very rarely do people come to my home. BUT...I have gone to many many peoples homes to buy stuff and I have to say that I have felt uncomfortable a few different times. Hope this doesn't sound uppity, but whenever I realize that something "nicer" is for sale and it's in a trailer park, my antena automatically goes up. I inevitably will see the most men/teen boys "loitering" outisde in the middle of the day at places like this, so If I realize ahead of time where it is or recognize the address, I just wont go.

One time I went to a guys house who lived a little ways out of town in a more rural area. I got there (daytime) and he was slow to get to the door and then when he invited me in, the house was all dark (hairs raised up on the back of my neck) I actually stopped and said, it's ok, I'll just wait til you turn the lights on, cant see too well. I thought to myself then and there, OMG, I could be raped or killed here.

It just felt really awkward..turns out the guy was legit, he was a local fireman..BUT THE CREEP FACTOR WAS THERE...Another woman I met from a local yardsale sight arrived at his house while I was there, so I felt a bit better, and I later shared my feeling with her, she echoed exactly what I felt from this same guy...so it wasn't just me. I swore to myself that I would not do that again...So now, I take someone with me when I go, whenever possible.

You really can never be too careful, no matter how small the town is where you live.

PS: here is a video link on fox news.

I guess hindsight is 20/20, but would you honestly open your door to these 4 if they all showed up on your doorstep to buy an expensive ring? HMMMM,

http://video.foxnews.com/v/4182067/hero-turned-murder-suspect

Very sad, but why sell a diamond ring on CL...especially a family heirloom???

I have let one person into my home when no one else was here. My daughter was suppose to be here, but was delayed. Another time, that same daughter was delayed meeting me, and I went into a house alone to buy my sofa table.

My daughter and I met a man in the Wal*Mart parking lot to buy some card tables he had listed. I went alone to buy a hutch, and the lady selling it was also alone. All the other times that I have bought, I check the address, and try to find something out about the people, AND always have someone with me.

Thanks for the warning reminder. I guess it is a lot safer to have a garage sale, but I don't think they are allowed in my neighborhood, and I need to have one badly.

PS - Just before reading this thread, I contacted a seller about going to see a mirror.

Heartbreaking. Thanks for the reminder. I'm actually supposed to pick something up this weekend.

Sorry, I'm stuck on thinking on this thread...I think like anything we do, we must all just use common sense and not become irrational or parralyzed by unwarranted fear. We should also follow our gut instincts. I know now, that when I had that feeling at that man's house, I should not have gone in, period...no matter that I might fear looking weird or whatever, I should have made up some dumb excuse and left and IF I came back, I should have brought someone with me. Even though nothing was wrong there, IT COULD HAVE BEEN. For all I know, he preferred brunettes to blondes!!! I made a point to call Gwen after I got home to make sure she was ok...(she's a petite buxom brunnette :)

Whenever possible, we should take someone with us and if you dont have someone to ride with you, at very least we should always tell someone that we are going, where and how long it will take and leave the address at home. I also ALWAYS ask for their phone number ("in case I cant find you").

This happened 2 blocks from my sister's house - it is in a rural area now being developed into suburbs, so there are little developments kind of interspersed with pastures and small family farms - but very near a big city. it is very sad and scary. Rjinga, just so you'll know, the buyers who showed up at the house to look at the ring were a man and woman. they went in, looked at the ring, flashed the $$, then the other two showed up. The sellers did NOT let the 4 into their house. It could have just as easily been a lone woman who came in and paid for the ring and when ready to leave, let her accomplices in.

I don't think parking lots or parks are safe places either. I'd suggest meeting in the parking lot of the police station closest to you. If someone has something bad planned, it is likely they wouldn't show up there.

Am I the only one that thinks the wife of the man killed doesn't look like someone that went through this kind of trauma within the last week? Could this have been a paid murder?

That is not the first time bad things have happened to good people on CL. There are too many sick, mean opportunists out there...it is scary. Thanks for posting this, it will surely help to encourage safe practices.

A young woman in the Minneapolis area was killed a couple of years ago after she had posted on CL about wanting a Nanny job.

Justgottobeme - I thought she seemed very together too. I just assumed things didn't hit her yet. ?

I normally take someone with me for my CL trips. The time I went for that claw foot desk we ended up down in the women's dark dungeon basement. I'm glad I wasn't alone and she was fine!

The time I bought my web back chair (by myself) the lady had me wait at the door and that was fine with me. Although, that place didn't creep me out. It was a very nice development in a nice area. Guess that doesn't mean anything though.

The time I bought my one end table I was by myself. When the lady invited me to come in I was panicking because we actually went through the house. I'm glad she turned out to be the nicest seller ever.

I think it's good to use common sense, take someone with you, and I also pay attention and am selective about where the item is located.

I have a few things I'd like to get rid of and DH keep saying about selling on CL. I keep telling him I don't want strangers at our house. When we finish our office area, as much as I don't want to, I might end up finding that claw foot desk a new home and getting something more practical. Father in law has a few booths in the thrift store I'll probably put it in there.

I've told this story before, but DH & I went to look at a bedroom set a couple years ago. We entered a lakeside community being developed, maybe 25% of the homes were occupied. It was after dark, some lots just had foundations poured. The house we went to sat on the lake & had adjacent houses being built, but nothing nearby even looked occupied. This woman opened her door to DH & I, was pleasant, escorted us clear through the house to the back master suite, and left us there to check out the set and talk. At the time I was a bit shocked. No sign of anyone anywhere, no DH, no dog, all alone. After measuring it wouldn't fit, so we thanked her and left. On our way out we were talking with her about the development. Her DH walked in just then from work. We exchanged pleasantries & left. I told DH I would never dream of doing what she just did. That was just beyond naive. We don't look menacing, but that doesn't mean a thing.

We have some bigger things to sell and planned to use CL, now I'm rethinking it.

justgotabme, I was curious because I have been busy and not keeping up with news so I missed this. (Had to google a video, my ad blocker won't let me see the one on rjinga's link). Found one here, it looks like a press conference? I'm very reluctant to jump to conclusions in these kinds of situations, and certainly a lot could be attributed to trauma & shock. But just learning of the story here, my initial impression was being struck with how matter of fact her manner was when revealing details about her husband's injuries & wanting his ring back 'when they're done with his body'. Perhaps behavior and choice of words easily attributed to shock. But then when speaking about her son that did seem to bring emotions to the surface. So there is a noticeable difference in the way she speaks about the her DH as compared to her son. There is also a photo on the web of she and her BIL (DH's brother) leaving the courthouse. The brother looks haggard and drained compared to her appearance. I'm not sure what to make of it, and am in no position to judge. On the one hand strong faith will see people through horrible ordeals with calm. But on the other hand stranger things have happened.

the link I posted came from the foxnews.com site, and olychick, I thought about that after I posted, most likely they did not all show up like I mentioned, otherwise, it would have been more suspicious. But whos to say that even if they had arrived together, that the couple might have felt compelled to let them in for fear of appearing racist. We live in very precarious times and people out there with ill intent (IMHO) are feeding on situations like these. WHICH is even more concerning and should be for all of us. We may all be smart enough to spot a shady situation, but how ever can we tell the intent in what seems to be a legit person/couple in what appears to be a harmless situation? etc.

I had a similiar thought/experience to what you posted moonshadow. I met a woman at her appartment to see some furniture she was selling...she came to the parking lot the same time as I did. She got out of her car and she had 2 small children, one in her arms and a toddler, and a bag of groceries. She had me follow her in, all the while she was completely distracted and her hands full. I dont know if she assumed because I was alone and a woman, that I was "safe" but she led me all the way into the bedroom where the furniture was and the table and left the front door open. anyway, I was thinking geez she is an easy target for someone with ill intentions. No one else ever came. Hubby was at work.

I'm going to have to examine this woman in any video's I can find, to see what you are seeing. I wonder if investigators will clue in to this calm she is exhibiting and be suspicious of it as well?

While the widow may not appear to exhibit the traits that we normally associate with a woman whose husband was recently murdered before her eyes, I feel uncomfortable casting aspersions upon her because of her demeanor. I would hate to think that if I'd just undergone an unthinkably horrifying shock and had been thrust into a psuedo-celebrity position with cameras in my face because of my circumstances, that people were judging me because I didn't visibly emote as they expected. I dunno - I suppose it's our human nature that causes us to "read" others this way, but it still makes me rather uncomfortable.

Precisely why I tried to put emphasis on my reluctance to jump to any conclusions, and that I'm in no position to judge. Still it remains a sad reality in our day and age that anything is possible. Susan Smith comes to mind.

I have to agree with auntjen but I've seen such reactions in spouses before. Years ago there was a murder of a father and young son in L.A. and the wife/mother was always cool as a cucumber and even seemed to enjoy the attention and the cameras.
There was nothing stolen and the killings were execution style. The killers were never caught.

This is a terrible story. What a horrible experience.
I had three reactions..and before I say a word, I'm NOT suggesting that the victim of such a crime is ever to blame...but in a free society, we all navigate a less that perfectly safe world.

First, it seems foolish to offer something of great value on CL. It seems to invite predators, who might assume that there are other things worth taking in the house.

Second, to keep it in perspective for our own use of CL, I thought about how many transactions were made on CL all over the country during that week or month that didn't result in something awful, and then in terms of the odds of getting hit by a distracted driver on the interstate or on the way to the grocery store, and whether or not that stops me from getting in my car.

And third, I thought about the message the father of that family gave, unintentionally, to his 14-year-old son. Instead of talking about how a man should act in defense of his family, what if he had drummed into his family's heads that if someone has a weapon, relax, give them anything they want, and don't escalate the situation. If that sweet boy had kept still, the whole thing might have ended very differently.

Now I will get off my soapbox!

We bought a rowing machine from CL and met the guy in the alley behind his house (where the garage was), in the early evening. I was with DH, but what a stupid decision. But it was the only time we could see the rower together. When you feel a certain pressure to get something, you don't think rationally.

My husband and I decided to never have a garage sale because of theft and shady customers. You can only watch so much at once, and the thieves are very cleaver and work in groups.

So we give stuff to charity instead. Much safer and it's easy to drop stuff off at the Good Will then let it pile up in our garage. Another option is a consignment shop.

What a tragedy. That poor family is in my prayers.

That is just awful. I try to be careful, but it really makes you think. I have not seen the video of the widow, but she might be in shock and/or on some kind of medication to help her sleep. Those things could make her demeanor different that one might expect.

Ditto Bronwynsmom.

I may watch too much crime shows on TV and read too many novels of such stories also, but I know after experiencing such a violent act against anyone, let alone someone I love so dearly as my spouse, I would not act the way that woman did. It's funny how I so often am angered when the first they suspect is the spouse were it in true life, TV or in books, but this woman is either still in great shock and needs help big time, has a very strong iron will, or she didn't really love her husband.

I watched the video and had mixed emotions. My first thought was that she is still in shock. My second is that it has been several days since the murder, at the time the woman was interviewed, so she may have been over the emotional mode and be in the angry mode. However, she did seem to like the attention, but maybe that's just her personality. She may get "hyped up" on drama.

Well, thanks to this thread, I probably passed up one of the best deals I have ever seen on CL.

The listing was for a long white older wicker sofa in excellent condition. I saw photos and it looked great. The seller wanted only $25 for it! I knew it wouldn't last long, because not only did she have email, she listed her phone number...and that price! I emailed to ask where she lived, and she gave me the name of the road which is very long and runs along the lake. It can have nice homes or be very shady. The seller wrote that if I was interested, to call her. I froze! I knew that I did not want to drive out all that way and go by myself, and I had no one to go with me because they were all at work. I didn't call, and now regret it. The listing is gone, too. So, thanks a lot auntjen! LOL

There was a terrible tragedy here several years ago that made a huge impact on our community: a prominent business man met a young couple at a gas station so they could look at the older suv he was selling.
They went on a test drive (not sure of this detail) but anyway they ended up kidnapping him, wrapping him in duct tape while they drove to another state where they planned on dumping him but he had a heart attack and died.
All this for an old car!!
They were a young, white couple and were caught.

I don't remember the exact details but that's the basics...his wife called the police when he didn't come home.

As bronwynsmom said "transactions were made on CL all over the country during that week or month that didn't result in something awful" but it is a good reminder that everyone needs to be careful.

DH and I continue to use CL (we sell more than buy) and we actually have a couple coming out today to look at some sports equipment.
We never let anyone in the house, we don't go outside together to meet the buyer, and we move the item outdoors. If it's raining we'll put it in the shop with the roll top doors open.
Once we've set up a meeting time, I let the buyer know the item is sitting in the driveway. Women that I've sold household items to are relieved to hear that! We'd never sell valuable items on CL or do any transaction after dark.

If I were going to someone's home I'd ask were the item is located and would do a drive-by before I decided to go to the home. And, of course, I'd never go alone.

NHB, I recently missed buying an outdoor sofa also. The seller had put too low a price on it and by the time I emailed she had 4 people wanting it!

It kind of scares me when the seller does that. It's almost like it's too good to be true!

Last week, I missed out on a 2 year old Ashley couch that was being offered free. The woman was a professor at our nearby college. She was moving overseas or something, and couldn't take it with her. I saw the ad right after it was listed and immediately wrote to her. She must have had millions of interest, because she never answered me, and the listing was removed shortly thereafter.

I also let a wood mirror go this week, because the seller was being vague about where they lived. I think they were asking too much ($40) for it anyway.

nhb, I too found a "lovely" wicker sofa on CL and made arrangements to see it. They weren't home when I was available, but were so wonderful about saving it for me. It rang some bells, but I thought as I always do that if when I arrived at the home, not at the door, I'd just keep driving. The area is close to so went last evening while still very light out. It was listed with standard CL photos and looked awesome. Neither the add or her or her hubby mentioned any damage in emails or talked to them. I found out when I got there it had extensive damage which in my opinion should have been even cheaper. So my guess is you saved yourself some time and gas by passing up the wicker sofa. I did wonder it being less than two years old and asking so little, but when told it had normal wear, I believed them. Torn apart along the edge of the seat most likely by a dog isn't "normal" in my book.

I pity the teenage son who tried to help and ended up aggravating the situation which resulted in his father's death. Had he kept quiet his Dad would probably still be alive. One top of everything else he has to live with that for the rest of his life.

I put an ad in the lost and found section of the paper many years ago after I lost a valuable pearl bracelet. Stupid me described the bracelet so much I left nothing for the finder to prove s/he had it. I was young and naive. I get a call one day from a man who claimed to have found it. Too excited to think intelligently I wrote down his address and arranged a time to meet. I asked a guy I knew to go with me, at least I was so dumb to go alone. We drove all the way out to this person's location only to discover it didn't exist. It was a prank. After I returned home the jokester called laughing. As humiliated as I was at least I didn't walk into a worse situation by knocking on his door and being pulled inside his house. This creep did me a favor, not only did he wake me up to the real world I no longer grieved over my lost bracelet, didn't matter as much to me anymore.

I have been slack when I buy and sell CL items, this article is a good warning even though I'm sorry these poor people had to suffer. When they catch this murderer I hope he gets the death penalty..and fries on the table wearing the ring.

justgotabme -That's the main reason that I do not like going alone. I am afraid to say "no" when the piece turns out to be disappointing.

flyingflower - You were lucky!

Wow, wow. How sad. I have to say, I've done plenty of dumb CL things. We have no babysitter, so it's either I go alone places to look (with my DH caring for the kids) or we all go. Either way, I put myself and/or my kids in danger. The only time I've ever gone into a home w/ both a male and female inside, DH was waiting (with the kids) in a car outside. But does that matter? It's not like women are 100% safe, either . . .AND I've let people in my home. Once was a couple who came to buy car seats. Another was a woman and her daughter to buy a buffet. Other items I've had in the garage, but it's just been me with the kids. (The kids stay in the house.) I've been nervous every single time-- not because of intuition-- but I did it anyway.

One thing-- I was pretty careful in general when I was pregnant this last time never to discuss it much in general. I would also NEVER go buy baby things from CL since there are some creepy stories of things happening to PG women.

No matter WHO is with you (unless you're with Superman!), if someone has a gun, there is no protection.

As for the woman's reaction, I didn't see the video, but I am reminded of when my dad died. I was 13. When I told some people he died, they didn't believe me-- said I was too calm. I think death is very personal. For me, it is surreal at first, too horrible to realize as final. To distance yourself from it is to protect yourself. The woman is probably in such deep, deep pain that she can't even bear to really believe he is gone. I mean . . .my dad died from a heart issue, but her husband died a violent death. It is my worst nightmare, to think of anyone-- but someone I love-- die that way.

My thoughts are with that family. What a powerful reminder of how insignificant things and money are compared to life. I wish we lived in a peaceful world. My mom told me about some pastor who headed one of those megachurches until he visited countries in Africa. He thought, maybe we are in h*** on Earth now. Maybe, indeed.

Made a CL purchase yesterday for my daughter. She has been wanting one of those jewelry boxes on a stand. Personally, I don't care for them, but she does. I could not see paying the $100 - $300 that I have seen them listed for in stores. So, when I saw one listed for $35 I jumped on it. This is what I did to make sure the exchange would be safe for me, and then I will post what the seller did that I think was dangerous.

#1 - Emailed the seller. When she emailed back, her name was listed on the email address, so I looked up the street address. I was not familiar with the area and knew it was in the country (well, so am I to an extent.) When I did a MapQuest, I realized that seller lived not too far from my back door (about a 15 minute leisurely and beautiful drive through the countryside.)

#2 - Called my daughter and asked her to go with me. She didn't know what I was going after, and begrudgedly said she would go because it was mothers day. ;-) She was quite surprised when she found out I was buying something for her which I told her on the way.

#3 - Called buyer (she had previously given me her number to call when I was on my way. Had cash in hand.

#4 - When we arrived, I found a nice well manicure lawn and home. My daughter stayed in the car, while I went to the door. from there, it was kind of crazy on the sellers part.

OK, what the seller did wrong.

#1 - When we arrived, the garage door was opened, and also the front door was ajar. I chose the front door, since I didn't want to be rummaging around someones garage looking for a door to knock on.

#2 - The seller answered the door quickly, and when I identified myself, she said this way, and turned her back. I followed her into the kitchen, and then she suddenly turned around and headed into me, before going back out into a hallway. Turns out she had only gone in the kitchen to throw something away. lol I was right on her heels, and I think scared her!

#3 - Seller has me follow her down to a finished basement where her kids are playing. I speak, and continue to follow the seller through a room, and then back out into the garage. WHAT?

#4 - Seller then heads into a storage room, with me staying behind the door. She pulls out the jewelry armoire for me to inspect in a dark garage. it looks fine, and I hand her the money and carry it out to my daughter.

I thought the seller, knowing that we were on our way, would have had the item ready and waiting. There was no need for me to have to go through her house.

Also, when we got home, we inspected the piece better and found the drawers to be a little dirty (lint, etc.) and the outside dusty. It would have taken the seller all of two minutes to dust the outside and vacuum out the drawers. Overall though, it was a good CL experience and never once was I scared. Had it been a man taking me through the house, it would have been a different story. Had I been a male buyer, I hope that the seller would have been more careful.;)

I posted on the other CL thread, but will post here also. I've never bought anything on CL, because I have never found anything on ours that I want. Now if I lived near My3dogs . . .

I am not comfortable going in others houses that I do not know. Even if I went, I would NEVER go alone. I probably wouldn't go without hubby. I have pretty well made up my mind not to sell on CL because I don't want people coming to our home.

There are some wonderful bargains on CL - well at least some of you all find them - I don't here LOL! But, no bargain is worth something happening. I may be overly cautious, but so be it.

tina

That is a sad story, but certainly it is an anomaly. We are moving in a few days, and I just completed selling or giving away at least 12 items on Craigslist. They all were very big items that I could not bring to a public place...things like sofas, a China cabinet, large area rug. In many cases, we had people in our home. We had zero problems, and they were all nice people.

My advice is to talk to the buyers on the phone, you can often tell if they seem safe that way. In addition, I monitored the email responses and only answered people who seemed to have good communication skills in their emails.

I monitored the email responses and only answered people who seemed to have good communication skills in their emails.
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You cannot judge a book by it's cover. I sent a seller an email question yesterday, and they answered back. The English seemed a little odd to me, and the name was foreign. I did a Google and found that the seller was a physician here in Internal Medicine! The same thing happened last week when I inquired about a mirror being sold. Found out that seller was an exchange tennis player at our local college. She was heading back home and selling all the contents to her apartment.

It irritates me to no end when a seller doesn't answer my email. At least have the decency to respond with something. ;)

Secondly, get it off CL as soon as it has sold. that will eliminate unwanted emails. I cannot tell you how many times I have sent an email in response to a listing, only to have them respond with "oh, I sold that yesterday." Grrrr

You absolutely cannot judge a book by its cover! Remember Ted Bundy? He was able to lure so many young women because he was handsome, highly communicative and well-educated. Appearances don't mean a thing.

There you go again scaring the living daylights out of me, auntjen! lol I wanted the cover to look bad, but the person be good. ;) Just when I was ready to go back into the water again. :-)