I think even if you share a household, you need to learn some boundaries. To protect yourself, mostly. But also because it's right. True, your mom is too "lazy" to make those albums. But maybe that's just a pipe dream; maybe she thinks she "ought" to put photos in albums, and just can't admit that she doesn't really WANT to. That's often behind people's laziness--the fact that the benefits of that thing are just not apparent. If people don't do something, I believe it's because they don't genuinely WANT to. No matter what their mouth says. (and frankly, there is NO empirical benefit to putting photos in albums w/ fancy paper and stickers. The fancy paper and stickers are make-work, and should be done only by those people who get some sort of artistic satisfaction out of doing it. Your mom obviously doesn't get enough satisfaction to bother with it. She's ALLOWED not to want to actually follow through on her albums. Of course it would be nice if she could be honest with herself and say, "I'm content w/ these photos in boxes, and I'm going to stop kidding myself that I'll really make albums," and then toss the excess scrapbooking stuff. But having only recently been through that process, I can tell you that it's not an easy one. It involves creating an entirely new self-image.) I think you need to stop taking responsibility for "fixing" your mom--whether she's morally deficient ("irresponsible and immature") or ill ("psychological disorder"). You *can't* fix her. She's a grownup, and if she's going to change, it will be only because she wants to. You can't even make her go to a psychiatrist to see if medications would help her (say, if she has OCD), because she is NOT your legal dependent. I think you need to just NOT focus on her, and her stuff. No more going "room to room" and making lists of all the ways she is deficient. I know you live there, but it's not your space. Focus your energy on getting out, and on making your life be what you want. Try to maintain calm and order in the places where it affects you, and then, regarding all else, close your eyes, stick your fingers in your ears, and say "la, la, la!" Try to have your own life settled so that if you *need* to "be there" for your little sisters, you can, but don't take on that responsibility too rapidly. A 17-year-old can watch over a 12-year-old, and your dad is part of the family too. Few people have actually died because the corners of the living room are stacked full of out-of-date textbooks, etc. Also, you need to spend some energy, not on fixing things in your parents' marriage, but on getting OUT from "in between." Stop taking ANYBODY's side in any of their disputes or problem. LEAVE THE ROOM! I'm not trying to be snippy. I'm just trying to make you see that you are reaching beyond where you ought to. And your basic assumption--that *you* need to "fix" all these problems in your parents' lives--is wrong. You need to "declutter" that assumption--toss it in the garbage. That assumption is YOUR equivalent of old issues of magazines, etc. You can't fix those problems. So stop trying to. You'll find it amazingly freeing.

Well, Yes Donna I am; thanks for asking! I didn't feel like I had anything that relevant to share until I started reading here. It's funny how so many of the little things you make choices on translate into a simpler life. I live by Talley Sue's ROI rule...for clothing, my sister calls it CPW (cost per wearing). I recently hit the summer sales because I had some events I needed clothing for, but didn't want to spend much money on. I hate to clothes shop so much that I usually end up paying far too much to buy an item for an event, simply because I don't want to invest the energy or the time. I decided this year to take advantage and make a marathon of it and really think about my purchases. Listing all the events I knew I had coming up, I went from there. I purchased items I never would have in the past, yet shopped much smarter than I ever have. For example, I can never find jeans...and on that trip, I bought two pair of outrageous designer jeans that fit. (I have never spent so much money on JEANS, but it was the right thing to do.) They were on sale, I got them altered for free, they look fantastic and I'll wear them until they fall off in tatters. On the other hand, because of the sales, I bought two dresses, one for a party and another for a wedding I'll be attending in the fall; both for $16 ea. That made me feel great, since I won't wear those much. I filled in my wardrobe with some black pants, and a number of tops that will take me to most events, all at ridiculous 75% off prices. I tried everything on, and refused to buy anything that didn't fit perfectly. What this did for me was allow me to pull any of those clothes out of my closet and wear them without a moment's hesitation. I went home and vowed to spend an afternoon in my closet trying everything on so I could purge ALL my clothes to that same extent. It's a lot more fun to shop my closet now! You know, I dressed for a party last week and didn't even look in the mirror before I left. There's a lot of freedom in knowing everything fits and looks great! Another discovery I made recently had to do with the number of hummingbird feeders I have. I hesitated to put them out this year because I have quite a few and have to clean them often to refill, especially in the heat. Since hummingbirds are one of the highlights of my life, I decided to keep half of them on reserve in the fridge. That saved me a bit of a chore, I have a place for the reserve food, and they're all ready to go. The hummers eat until they're empty, and resources of food and energy (mine!) are saved. That definitely made my life easier and simplified the process for me.

WOW thanks! Look at all of us. Bunch of crazy Gemini's. HAPPY BIRTHDAY EVERYONE! Today I celebrate the 11th anniversary of my 29th birthday. Don't ask me how that is possible cause I just don't know. I am still a goofy little girl, so it CAN'T be right. DH is working today so it is just the kids and I. My boys are taking me to the movies this afternoon. They are being so cute about it too. They are paying with their allowance and birthday money and wont tell me what we are seeing. I just have to drive and have us there by noon. (Because the matinee is cheaper -LOL). DH bought Kenny Chesney tickets for my birthday. So we will celebrate in June with a concert and hotel in San Francisco. Can't wait! Hope everyone has a GREAT DAY!!! Even those not celebrating a birthday today. Dani

What a nice post to see! Thank you all so much for the birthday wishes! I was able to spend my day with my granddaughter, DIL, son and DH at the park, then an early dinner. Yesterday both sons DIL's & granddaughter who live local, came over and cooked a yummy dinner and desert. These are the birthday celebrations I love!