I honestly don't know anything about what would be an appropriate gift in Boston. In fact, as far as Houston (where I've lived my whole life), AFIK there's no "custom" gift. Not that I'm up on all that stuff!! The thing is, I give what I feel comfortable giving rather than trying to figure out what the couple expects or what the local tradition might be. If money is the custom there, they'll already be getting a lot of checks. Why not make your gift one of the few personal items that stand out and get remembered? I have a few quotes below from a very wise person who frequents this forum. See if you can figure out who said all this: When I got married, I did not have enough experience to know what would REALLY come in handy as my family and entertaining needs grew. Even then, I could see the difference between the gifts our peers gave us -- "unique," fun, or short-term stuff (e.g., a bed tray and a subscription to a book review) -- and the things the "grown-ups" got us: serving pieces, carving board, tablecloths, dishes, flatware, etc. We liked and appreciated all of it, but I could see the older generation had the better idea, and theirs are the gifts I am still gratefully using almost 26 years later. Registries tell me colors, styles, etc. I often give a silverplate water pitcher (there's an example of something you don't know you'll need but never have enough of, if you entertain). I look at the couple's registry to decide whether to choose a very simple or more ornate style. Not many young couples need giant serving platters or dishes, flatware, and crystal for 12 or 18. But years later, when they start to take their turn hosting holiday meals and family get-togethers -- for a family that will probably be getting larger -- they are going to need all that stuff -- at least many people do. Twenty-six years ago, I never imagined serving 29 people dinner in my home. But that is what we are doing tomorrow! So even though at the time it seemed like we would never use all the platters, bowls, and pitchers, I have used every one of them many times over the years. The nicest bonus is that every time I use the "boring" items, even all these years later, I think fondly of the person who gave it to me. That is a very lovely experience you don't get if all you get is cash or things you registered for yourself. My favorite gift was a big, fancy silver plate platter from my great aunt. She had received it as a wedding gift when she married into our family in the 1950s. I certainly didn't have occasion to use it much in the early years of our marriage, but I use it all the time now, and I think of her every time I see it. This is probably more a matter of local and ethnic custom than anything else. In many communities the northeast, for example, it seems that cash gifts are so customary that "thing" gifts are unusual (for wedding gifts \-\- these people also often give very large "thing" gifts for engagements and showers). But several posters who live in the south have reported that in their communities cash gifts are considered impersonal to the point of being a no\-no. Both are common here. I prefer to give a "thing" gift, but that's just my preference.

Interesting how many think this is tacky. I guess it is tacky mentioning gifts on a wedding invitation. But, we ARE going to give a gift and why not something that the couple can use? If they need money, then just give what you would have spent. I think some do not like giving money because they think if they give the "crystal vase" no one will know how much they actually spent on it. I love the idea of a registry. As pointed out, you can spend a few dollars up to thousands. Your choice. It is what they WANT. My husband was funny once. He didn't like the shade of green for a high chair I was buying. He didn't get the concept of the registry and thought I should pick a different color. Bottom line, give what you can afford and make no excuses for it.

We attended a wedding last year; it was at a lovely seaside hotel. I sketched a view and framed it as a gift (but many places have/sell cards, drawings, etc. that might make nice framed gifts) either of the venue or church. Was also thinking to screen print (they can digitally print on fabrics now) the latitude and longitude of the wedding location (kind of an outdoor sunbrella type fabric pillow) ... but that could be engraved onto a glass or cutting board...so its a bit subtle but a memento. Congratulations an hope its a great fun summer!

I wanted to give an update on the gift which I haven't bought yet, and I'm glad I didn't. But I will. DS and DIL finally moved all her things to his house and put her house up for sale. When I was in their house the other day I noticed some of her decor items from her old house were set in place. So I need to wait until she's all settled in to see if there's anything they could use. I still like the mantel clock idea. About her maybe wanting to move, no way. She has made herself lady of the manor and loves the country. DS said she acts like she's lived there forever which makes him thrilled. DIL told me a couple of weeks ago the first change she'll make is buying new bedding. LOL. When I went over there yesterday to let their Golden's outside for a bit, I saw a lot of various packages of Ralph Lauren bedding. From pillows to comforters. I like her tastes. I think I'll tell her I need new bedding for Christmas this year. :)