Luvs, my DDIL is absolutely the best. I am so lucky Jason married her. By the way, hope your DH had a nice birthday. My oldest son turned 44 yesterday. (shaking my head over this, hard to believe). Princess Mimi, with a husband and 5 sons, I think you should be the QUEEN. Bless your heart! Thank you again, Everyone, for all the prayers and good thoughts. And the offers of "running partners", LOL. I'm sure the men with white coats and nets would love a challenge. Tho I couldn't outrun a turtle these days. DH finally felt pretty good today and hopefully the worst is over. He has appt Friday with Urologist, but the antibiotics and anti-inflams apparently worked great and the back pain is almost gone. hugs, Karen

Thank you Valerie. I am slowly making adjustments and I do feel more confident than I did at first. Ted encouraged me to be an independent woman, and I like to think he'd be proud of me today. Let me tell you, all his lessons in car and home maintenance, construction, finances and even snow plowing are going to come in handy now. I'm certainly not all strength and cheerfulness but I think I'm doing fairly well under the circumstances. I just had a weekend visit with my sister - bless her heart, she listened to me talk all I wanted and talk I did, mostly about Ted. We even cried together - more than a few times. It was very good therapy. Still taking it one day at a time, Anne

Sound like what happened to my DH a couple years ago. They called it a gut infection but had no idea where it came from. He spent 2 months in a rest home with 24 hr iv's.It was what they had to do-Several people seem to be getting something like that, but they seem to know a little more about treating it now. He did have some side effects from the very strong consistant anti-biotic-but is almost back to normal now. Good Luck. It is scary

Thank you, thank you, thank you to Silversword and lamom. You get what I am saying. I was not trying to "goat" anyone into anything or stir up the pot. I really was posting my deep thoughts, kind of like a journal to myself while at the same time trying to explain the situation. The reason I wrote the stuff about the BM being proud of being 'white trash' was because I was trying to explain about what I am dealing with here. That is all. I am the furtherest thing from someone who is all high and mighty and I don't think I am better than anyone else. In fact I am more of the black sheep in my family partly because I am not so judgmental and I am the rebel. I have tattoos, moved out at 17 on my own, don't like people to tell me what to do, etc. And yes I freely admit I am a control freak. That is something I am working very hard on. After the first post I was just adding details and my mind and thinking were changing. I am glad that my tune has changed since last Sunday. I am feeling much more optimistic now. Honestly I didn't think I was even going to come back to this site and I told myself today ok just go see what was said but don't post anymore. I am glad I did come back because both silversword and lamom made feel better and realize that not everyone here is so judgemental. I can take criticism and I was really thankful for the first few posts that told me to grow up because that is exactly what I needed to hear. And I do not get off on or enjoy writing inflammatory posts. I am sorry I was just writing my story and the quotes that sylviatexas posted that I wrote on the first day I registerd were written because that is what was said. I was not making anything up, that is my story and I am sticking to it, lol. My DH did not graduate but I don't hold that against him. I still love him very much. He also had a drug addiction in his past but you know what he is stronger for it and has proven how he can overcome almost anything. People do change and I do not hold their past on them forever. When I say he went through a bad period that is what I was referring. There is, of course, way more to the story and lamom is right you can not describe it all in one post, or even probably in 100. But what matters most is that this site did help me. I got a change to write my thoughts down and try to figure out what in the world I was really feeling. The more I wrote about SS and what HE has to deal with the more I found that I do care about him. I really do. It is still going to take time to build a relationship but I think it is all going to be ok.