DS was about 3 or 4. I had just opened a new box of powdered laundry detergent and it was in the garage next to the washing machine. DS was playing in the garage. When I checked on him, he had emptied the entire very large box of detergent onto the floor. I swept it up, dirt and all and put it back in the box. I was a single mom then and money was very tight. No way I could afford to just buy a new box of detergent.

My 2 youngest sons and my grandson were preschool age they were playing outside. It got a little too quiet so we went out to see what they were up to. We found them out back in the hog pen! They were all covered with mud. All you could see was their eyes and a few tufts of hair. We herded them into the back yard and had to hose them down and strip them before letting them into the house. They looked so funny that we could hardly hold the hose steady from our laughing. I wish I would have taken a picture of them.

For some reason, my 1 year old Son loved to flush things down the toilet just to see them twirl around. On day my 4 year old Daughter screamed at the top of her lungs from the bathroom. There was her 8 week old kitty twirling around going down the toilet. I was quick enough to grab it.

It was a typical, hot, August day in Texas. My then 8-year old daughter had been pushing my buttons all day and I was at my wits end with her. I was going to the store and DH was asleep. I told her and my then 5-year old son, who took everything you said literally, to be quiet and not wake their dad while I was gone. DD popped off and I said "You are skating on very thin ice little girl." My son looks over to where she's standing and in all seriousness said "She is??" I had to bite my tongue getting out of the house to keep from laughing.

Another one. I always told my DH (now my ex) that our two youngest were a handful. I had to always be watching them or they would get into some kind of mischief. He smugly told me that he never had any problems when he was with them. Yeah right! One day I went somewhere and left the boys with their dad. When I got home the first thing I noticed was their little step stool by the fish aquarium and no fish swimming around. I quickly rounded up the boys and ask where the fish were. They took me to the bathroom where they had put the fish into the sink so they could play and swim there for awhile. There was nothing in the sink. They hadn't closed the plug very well and all the little guppies had gone down the drain!

In the days before CDs and tapes and such,we picked our DD up from daycare when she was about 3 and she was so excited. She was telling us that they had played records that day. DH said, "that was nice, how did they go?"....her reply.........round and round!!

When DD was one and a half I worked evenings and DH watched her. About a week before Christmas, he fell asleep and she unwrapped all of the family Christmas presents that were under the tree. She didn't open any of the boxes...just unwrapped it all! I wasn't mad at her, but I was mad at the hubby!

I was at my sisters house one night and her two kids were getting ready for bed. My niece who was 8 at the time had been learning about different religions in school was in the bathroom brushing her teeth. My nephew who was 10 had been in the living room watching tv and the advertisement was on for the movie "The Forty Year Old Virgin". He walked up to my sister and asked her if she was a virgin! Her and I both looked at each other, we knew he probably didn't know what it meant and was just seeing what she would say and with out skipping a beat my 8 year old neice stuck her head out of the bathroom and gave her brother this look like he was totally stupid and said, "NO Kyle mom's not a virgin she's a lutheran!"
I could not quite laughing.

My mom babysits the cutest little boy and this last Sunday she was babysitting and he started to get board so she suggested that he go see if the little neighbor boy could play with him and he told her "No he can't play on Sunday's he's a Norman." The family is Morman and their little boy isn't allowed to play on Sundays. I thought that was so cute.

When DS was around 3 he loved to take the end of the toliet paper roll and pull it out of the bathroom and down the hall until he completly unrolled it. Once when we were on a vacation with DH's parents he was going back and forth between hotel rooms while we visited. You guessed it, he unrolled their TP roll all the way down the hotel hall. We couldn't help but laugh.
Clare

I was sick with a cold, took some cold pills and laid down on the couch. My two daughters, about age 5 and 6, had been upstairs playing quietly. The older one sweetly said "Don't worry, Mommy, we cleaned up the water." A few hours later I dragged myself upstairs. They had made a pool for their Barbie dolls, dumped water on the carpet AND HAD NOT cleaned up anything. I soaked it up with a towel but the dye came out of the carpeting. The spot on the floor dried eventually but you can still see where it was. The carpet is yellow all around except in that spot where it's a sick-looking pink.

When my youngest brother and I were kids the preacher, his wife and 2 kids came over to visit one evening. My little brother was playing with the little kids and they were having lots of fun. My Mom walked into the kitchen and was horrified to find an empty box of Ex lax on the counter. She quickly ask my brother about it and he said he shared some of the chocolate candy with his company. He said he gave them one square each. Mom told the preacher and his wife right away. The preacher laughed and said they probably needed it anyway. I know my Mom was soooo embarrassed!

Hi again fireman's wife,

The little lad that your Mom babysits had a couple of errors in the word that he used, when he referred to his friend's family as, "Norman".

But you were slightly off base, as well, for you referred to them as "Morman" ...

... but they actually follow the "Mormon" faith.

Now ... just so long as someone doesn't come along and show where I'm in error, as well.

ole joyful

When Ds#1 was 2 1/2 yo and ds#2 was around 7 mo, I went outside to take out the trash. I heard lots of laughing as I was walking back in. I found ds#1 taking swigs of chocolate milk and spitting them on ds#2. Ds#2 was enjoying it. Of course, I made them stop. Then ds#2 got mad at me because I spoiled the fun.

My neighbor called me the other day to make sure my children had gotten an invitation to her kindergartner's 6 yo b-day party. Apparently, her ds had taken the invitations for the class and handed them out on the bus instead so she had to make new invitations for the class. She called me this morning to borrow some craft paints. She now has RSVP's for 20 kids and she thinks it from the kids from the bus because she doesn't recognize the names and she doesn't have enough materials for her craft projects.

Oh I have several.
1. When DS was about 2-1/2 he decided to wash our car to help us out. We had just bought a 64-1/2 Ford Mustang (Oh how I wish we still had it.) I went outside to find him with the hose thru the window going full blasts and so proud that he was cleaning the car. Had about 2-3 inches of water in the car. I bailed water and bailed water, then took blankets and towels to soak up some more and drove around with the heater on to help dry it out and it was summer time. DS will celebrate his 44th birthday next month.

When DS was about 4 and DD 18 months old I was working days and it was the weekend and DH watching the kids. It was Easter weekend and he had got both of them cleaned up and put on clean, dressy clothes. He had let them both outside to wait for me to come home and next thing he knew DD was standing in a mud puddle in her shoes and dress with mud splashed on her by her brother was was riding his tricycle thru the puddle! We still had our egg hunt when I got home and I have pictures of that escapade.

Another time DH was watching both kids, DD 3 yr and DS 5-1/2 yr while I was at work and DS decided to give her a haircut. She had fairly long hair and he clipped it right almost to the scalp on one side when DH found them. DH finished the job giving her a cute pixie and pretty well made it look halfway decent. BTW DH had gone to Barber college so was adept at such things.

My youngest has been my culprit. He just turned 11 in Feb and still hasn't slowed down..The things he has done simply amaze me. Just a few of the good ones.

Y2k when everyone was worried about the year 2000..He was almost 3. He plugged a screw driver into the wall outlet in his bedroom and blew every fuse in the back part of the house. It was a 1000 wonders it didn't kill him..and YES It Had a CHILD PROOF Cover on it !~

When he was about 3,he was on the carport playing with his sister. She came to the back door and said that DS had a "sharpie" magic marker. I knew he was outside so wasn't really worried about what he was writing on. Later when I went out there I found that he had colored my license plate and tail lights black. He had also drawn lines on the back end of my car.
He found my brand new bright RED lipstick and smeared it into the carpet, my new beige carpet.

He was about 5 and found a can of white paint and painted our neighbors' black dog. He also painted anothers neighbor carport post hot pink..luckily it was mostly water so it came off pretty easy.
When he was about 7 a neighbor called and asked if I had seen him. No but I hear him playing in the backyard..Go LOOK at your son..He was covered in GREEN PAINT from head to toe, along with my Saint Bernard and everything else he had touched.

I honestly had to keep a notebook for things for DH to fix or double check when he came in from work. DS would take the screws out of anything. I could go on and on.

Just before the kids went in to their Sunday School class I'd give them a quarter & tell them to "That's to give to Jesus."

Hearing a knock at the door one day, they ran, peered out the latched screen & yelled, "Mommie, JESUS is here!"

Suzi

We ran out of propane for the BBQ and had to go to several places before finding a station to refill our tank. I was exasperated with the situation which must have made an impression on my then 5 yr old son.
The next Monday I get a call from his kindergarten teacher wanting to have a "chat". The kids were asked to share what they had done over the weekend and my son tells the class how mad his mom had been because we had to drive "all over the place looking for cocaine"!
Ah, kids :)

deborah, ahahahahaha!

ROTF at Deborah! Grittymitts, love your story, too. Haha!

These stories are all great, I've been chuckling all the way through this thread. Keep them coming! Now I've got to go think about what my kiddos did back in the day.

A friend of my mother's told this story about her son when he was in kindergarten. He apparently had been too talkative in class, and the teacher took him aside. She said, "Jimmy, please tell your mother that I said you talk too much." So when he got home, his mother asked him about his day, and he said, "Mom, Miss Crouse said to tell you, you talk too much." LOL

When my son was in preschool 25 years ago, the teachers told the children to go through a stack of magazine pictures and pull out ones that illustrated their family members. Then they each made a poster with Mom, Dad etc. and hung them on the wall for Parent's Night in September. When my husband and I arrived at the Magic Cottage Pre-School I thought I detected a few guick glances coming my way.

I finally figured it out when my son took us over to see our family poster. There were pictures showing me, my son and this wonderfully handsome photo of Richard Roundtree from the movie "Shaft" which didn't happen to resemble my husband's ethnicity. I tried not to laugh when I asked my son why he chose that illustration. He turned his freckled Irish face towards me and said "See Mom, he has a mustache just like Daddy's!"

While it isn't a mischievous story it's one that's dear to my heart.

I hope people keep posting to this thread for a long time. How refreshing to start my day reading such hilarious and/or heartwarming stories. Thanks to all for sharing.

Shirley

My Mom took my brother on a bus to a doctors appointment. He must have been about 3. At one stop, a black woman got on, at another a black man. Brother pointed and said loudly "Look, that's her husband!". Mom turned red and decided to learn to drive after that.

I posted this before, but some of you are new. Both stories involve my youngest DS, who was not quite three.

My DH is chinese, and when our kids were little, we visited DH's parents every Sunday for dinner. Our kids would hear DH conversing in chinese, and our youngest DS obviously thought he had picked up on the language. We live in the Toronto area which is very diverse ethnically. One day I was out shopping with DS and he spotted an older chinese couple and said "Hi!" When they stopped to smile and acknowledge him, he broke into a stream of nonsensical speech that sounded like "Chow ping ho lee ming chew fa..." you get the picture! Well because DH wasn't with me and my DS shares my blonde hair and British/Irish skin, it appeared like I was a racist, raising a child to mock Chinese people. When I tried to speak up to tell them that my DH is chinese and my son must have thought he was talking to them the way daddy talks to other chinese people, they just gave me a dirty look and stomped off. I was never so embarrassed. But DH just laughed when I told him and said that made up for the time DS embarrassed HIM...

We were in a large crowded department store and I was waiting for a dressing room to try on some clothes. DS was tired and started having a temper tantrum, so I told DH to just take him out of the store and I'd meet them at the McDonald's in the food court when I was done. But while DH was quickly exiting the store, DS started shouting "No, I' don't wanna go with you, dont' take me away!" Needless to say, that caught everyone's attention and obviously someone reported that an Asian man had grabbed a stroller with a white kid in it and was trying to escape the store! Before DH could get to the exit, he was stopped by two security guards. They started interrogating him and DH had I.D. for himself, but nothing on him for DS. He must have been frazzled, because he actually pleaded with our son, "remember I said I would buy you a Happy Meal if you're a good boy? Well can you please tell these men that I'm you Daddy?" Of course that made him look even MORE guilty! From inside the dressing room I heard my name being paged to go to the front entrance. When I got there and verified that DH was indeed DS's father, they were released. As they exited the store I heard DS sobbing, "do I still get my Happy Meal, Daddy?"

My nephew was about four, and I came down the stairs to find him leaning against the closet door. He looked veeery suspicious. Before I could even say anything, he said "I didn't put the dog in the closet!". I moved said child, opened the closet door, and out walked the dog. Apparently though he was NOT lying. It turns out he opened the closet door and the dog walked inside, and he just closed the door. So I guess technically he didn't PUT the dog in there LOLOL.

DD used to delight in telling strangers about my undergarments. Like telling a salesperson in the furniture store that "Mommy has her PRETTY bra on today. No really, she does. Mommy, show him!". One time I wore my bathing suit under my clothes and she could not get over the fact that I technically was NOT wearing underwear and shared it with anybody that would listen.

My favourite however, was the time I was walking in front of her in the grocery store and she suddenly exclaimed "My, your butt is BIG!". She was admonished for saying it, but kept saying "But it IS big. Look - " she places a hand at either side of my backside, then moves her hands away keeping that far apart "It's like THAT BIG!". I could hear people two aisles away laughing.

I won't mention me, my sisters, and my brother filling the above ground pool with sand from the sand box. Hey, tell four wolf cubs that a pool is like the beach, and put a really deep sand box right next to it and you take your chances, I say!

Well, DS#4 is our wild thing. He's only 5 now, so the worst might be yet to come. Couple years ago he cut the cat's whiskers off. I noticed the cat missing one side's whiskers and gasped "What happened to the cat?!" DS says calmly, "I cut his hair things off. Come here, I'll show you." And showed me the "safety" scissors and whiskers on his bed. I scolded him and explained the cat needs his whiskers. DS told me "You can get him new ones at Target."

He came outside one day, age 4, covered w/band-aids. Must have had 15-20 stuck all over his body. The neighbor asked him what happened. DS went into a story, very dramatic, gestures and all, about falling in the driveway and bleeding, lots of details. The neighbor looked at me questioning, but I just shook my head and said "Didn't happen, he just likes band-aids."

One afternoon the older kids shouted for me to come downstairs, that the youngest was a mess and smelled bad. They each told me something different, he smells like cat poop, he smells like puke, he smells like trash... I sniffed and said no, he smells sweet... DS said "I think I smell like pancakes!" Sure enough, he was covered in syrup and the bottle was tipped over on the kitchen table, leaking down the table, chair, pooled on the floor.

Second day of kindergarten... the kids were lined up single file facing one direction. The teacher told them all to turn around, face the other way. Doing that put the kid who was behind DS in front of DS. DS was furious, yelling that the kid "cut in line."

He also had a flush-it-down-the-toilet phase. Luckily, we did not have a tiny kitten! I think his best was one of those poofs for body wash.. it unravelled, it just kept coming out like a magician's scarf.

The other kids caused trouble, too, though. DS1 and DS2 at ages 6 and 3 would build swords with, of all things, lego. One clash and legos would go flying to all corners of the room, behind/under furniture, everywhere. DH had recently discussed their behavior with me, saying I needed to be more strict with them. So when the sound of flying legos came from their room, DH went to "handle" it. For a couple minutes his voice boomed about respecting property and playing nicely, picking up after themselves, etc. Then a couple seconds of silence. Then the 3 y/o says "What-ever, Dad." I had to walk away I was laughing so hard! It was the fact that DH went in there to show me how to be more strict that did me in!

When my brother and I were little, we sometimes stayed w/my mom's sister, who was unmarried and childless. I wonder if we maybe had some influence in the fact the remained childless! One visit she came in the room to find us throwing every crayon in a box of 64 against the wall with all or might. On the floor were all the broken pieces. As an explanation, we showed her the claim on the box, "Unbreakable!" We were just testing... and the claim was false! We know, we tested every crayon in the box.

When I look at my kids and want to know "What on earth were you thinking?!" I try to remember those crayons and how it feels to think like a kid. ;o)

When my son was 3-ish, he had quite a lisp. We lived in Florida at the time and we were in the car when he noticed a factory with white smoke billowing out of it. In his tiny, lispy voice....he asked, "Ith that wheo they make clouths" (clouds). He is now 29 and that is still my favorite memory!

I am laughing like a crazy woman!!! The only thing I can submit is the the note that came home from the kindergarten teacher that said- "we won't believe what your child tells us without checking with you and you should check with us also."

""All weekend driving around looking for cocaine!!! ""

I was walking along in the grocery store with my DS, who was then in the fifth grade. As we went down the health and beauty aids aisle, he said, "Oh, yeah, Mom, Mrs. Luster told me today that I need to start wearing deodorant." I just SCREECHED that cart to a halt, thinking, "Omigod! My kid stinks and a teacher had to tell him that he does!" I said, "Well, son, we'll buy you some, then. What exactly did she say!?" (Still just DYIN' with embarassment) He said, "Well, she told the class that we were all getting old enough and our bodies were changing and in this heat - we ALL need to start wearing it." Ahhhh... I could handle THAT! ROFLMBO

Forgot one that my DD and I still kid each other about...Once when she was about five, her dad and I decided to take a Sunday afternoon "nap". We went into the bedroom, shut the door and commenced "napping". She yelled, "Mama! Mama!" a couple of times, to which her daddy said, "She's fine, just ignore her!" Well, you know as well as I do how well THAT works. About the time I decided that there was no point in trying to "nap" when she's yelling, "Mama!" every two minutes, this note slides in under the door. The note said, "Dear Mama, How do you make tunna (sic) fish!?" LOL I immediately said, "Good Lord, let's get up - the kid is starving to death!" LOL

A few years ago I got a Mother's Day card from her. In it she thanked me for all I do for her and then concluded with, "How do you make tunna fish!?"

I am going to type this just as my daughter wrote it many years ago. I wish I had dated it, but can only guess she was about 6. She is 24 now.
I'll let you decide what they did.
Whenever they got in trouble, we always had them write why they did what they did, what their punishment should be and an apology.

WHY:
we whear bord and we wanted togo to my gramid's to day and we wanted to siwig bat we new that you werar gunue say no.
saw we go a patie box and stuk are figr's in it. and mark stuk his hand in it on a acixsadant. and it fell over and got on the floor and got on us to. Then we acixsadantle on the tv.

Punishment:
to morerowe and get the paite the tv. and celen the shend for four days and get one spacin withe the hand. and dont eat for four days but oley at school.

Apology:
im sorry that I and mark got paite on the TV and that we got in to the paite and that we put paite on the tv plase forgive me
were sow soory.

Hint: Paite = Paint (A gallon of paint out of the shed)

Trin

Well Trin I bet your DD didn't become a "serial painter" like Littlebit's DS. LOL

Littlebit you need to get that kid into an acceptable line of painting like art or house/fence painting or you're looking at a future "tagger". ;-)