a really good-quality umbrella (men seem to like those huge golf ones that make some sort of territory-grabbing statement, which is really annoying in NYC). tickets to some event you think he'd like (though if you get him a pair, he may feel he HAS to take you--depends on the dynamics of the relationship) a new wallet--if you can see what style he's using already. My DH gets these from time to time, and they are useful, bcs his wear out eventually. Does he use a day planner or a PDA? Could you "up the ante" by getting him a new binder, or a new case for it? Perhaps a higher-quality one than he's got? And who cares whether he can get a better deal on it than you can--the point is not how much it cost, but that you thought of it in connection w/ him. And there are always books, if you know what he likes to read. Or DVDs. And, don't pressure yourself too much. Once people get to be grownups, the importance of presents falls a little--just one small, nice thing is great. Oh--oh--TOYS! the phrase "once people get to be grownups" made me think of this. Grownups don't get toys--not TRUE toys. We get "toys," w/ quotation marks. We get iPods instead of GameBoys, DVDs instead of action figures. Get him a toy, even if it's a smallish one. Lego makes these really great little things called XPods, I think, that are $10 or so, and you can make little bitty cars, or robots, or whatever is in the Pod. (here's a pretty good selection--they change the colors periodically, though) and for $20, they have kits for making dinosaurs, etc. And for $7, there are "mini Designer" sets The XPods are neat, bcs they result in a little result, which means they go together fast, and he can stick it on his computer monitor at work, or something, without looking like an immature geek. (not that a guy who puts together Lego dinosaurs is an immature geek, mind you...) I gave the Xpod to every one of the guys in my family at Christmas this year--they didn't go ballistic, but they were amused and they thought it was fun.

I'm wondering if he just used a very unfortunate choice of words to express the idea that it takes him time to do an estimate and that's a loss if you're a casual inquirer. Is the same as the "qualifying" process idea, but any craftsman, designer or similar person just has to have some kind of sequence of involvement that they can rely on that saves them time but still attracts new customers. I don't know how this works, of course, since the problem is, with many such efforts, you can't come up with an accurate estimate unless you know most of what you're being asked to do, so if it takes you 30 min, even, to figure that out, and you do that several times daily, and the return is low, you're broke. If someone is well-established in a fairly high end business, he might well charge a fee just to talk and see your wish list and give an estimate, and then that cost will be applied if you buy. For cabinetry, I would wonder if the person could have any kind of brochure or book of work with some example prices, even if price range was kinda broad and there were multiple disclaimers about "prices subject to change". I mean, you might be trying to figure out whether a custom built-in hutch costs $3k or $30 k, or whatever. My point is just that, it would be more straightforward to be told it'll cost me to sit down with the guy and get an estimate, since that is just the business of how he values his time, and that would not be offensive, as I can then make my decision about whether I value it the same amount, and includes the sensible idea that people agree on fees before doing any level of business, compared to the "if you have to ask" approach.

Yes, I did briefly (and now even more) worry about overspending on one. At my local S.A tree they have sibling tree cards together. My gal Natie was not a combo. So, Tina, should I just not give the wish list part (camera or skates) but give the rest to my girl? Not give poor little Natie these very cool skates? Boo hoo. Really though, I have spent enough. Or, should I take what I have to the gift Tree volunteers, show them what I've got and ask if it should be split? Edited to add: strangely there were mostly boys left on my local angel tree. I'm wondering if it's because their wish list had some expensive things on it. Not much under $140. I know this because my squeaky butt husband was standing at the tree looking stuff up on his phone and then being embarrassingly loud about it. Or, maybe people just prefer to buy for girls? I did ask the volunteers about the many boys on the tree and she did say that every year they have all been taken up by givers. I'm thinking with all the money in my area of Florida combined with the large percent of snowbird wealthy retired people that angel tree kids around here tend to get overspent on. I do think it's a bit more normal. My husband along with others does a toy drive every year and just off that one place three large truck loads of toys will go out. There are hundreds maybe thousands of such toy drives in my county. Mtn, I have always in the past just given money to different causes at Christmas. This is my first time actually getting a kid, a kid with a name and sizes and wants. It's so very addicting!!! In fact it's even more than that as I'm an empty nester. I don't have any kids to buy for and that bites.

Crown rot is my biggest problems with hahnii so keeping the crown elevated is always good advise. That said, they seem to grow new pups at soil level or below so some times I have to re-pot razing up the plant a little. Strong Sun light is a natural anti-fungal so come summer time outside vacation is always best for them. Karen, Love your Jade Marginata. Those yellow margins really stand out. I almost lost mine. Crown rot and then out of no where I got two new pups that are growing but ever so slowly due to no mother plant. I guess I'm lucky to have one at all. My hahnii Silver Marginata which I purchased as 'Starlight' has done remarkably well also but the leaves seem to have darken up some being inside thru winter. It really filled out the pot and needs a re-potting asap.